Thursday, December 07, 2006

A Jacket

I had to go to Portland last Saturday for a Board of Directors meeting for a group of which I am a member. Wanting to take full advantage of my trip, I went in early so I could do some shopping for a sport jacket. I know in my case it’s like putting lip stick on a pig, but I do have some pride.

I’ve tried shopping for one locally, and just can’t find anything in my size. I’m not a big slob or anything, but I am over 6 feet tall, and it seems the local shops carry clothing for either little guys or for the morbidly obese. Which brings to mind the Big Dog store, their sub name should be, “Big Dog, For those who have given up on caring about what they look like.”

Anyway, here I am, a country mouse wandering through Macy’s where people are dressed in clothing that they never get dirty. Women walk in some of the coolest, yet stupidest shoes I’ve ever seen. I see products that have little purposes for real living. I pass the make-up counter where women are dressed in lab coats like they are graduate students in the make-up arts.

It was just fun looking at all the city folks shopping, fully realizing I was one of them just 20 years ago.

I was alone, thank goodness. Had my wife been with me I’d still be there. I tell her that she is the only one I know who could actually spend 4 hours shopping for tooth picks. She agrees, and that’s a man V/ woman difference.

So I find my way upstairs to the men’s department and I zone in on the sport jacket rack. I try on two jackets. I take the second, never looking at the price. I like the jacket…but as it turned out a sales person had all sorts of deals where the jacket was 50% off and he shared something else with me that took another 30% off the price. So I got this really cool $250 jacket for $75.

My wife was pleased with my acquisition, and asked how long I had to shop to find a deal like that. I told her that the clock in my truck read 10:13 when I turned the engine off, and it read 10:30 when I returned. Seventeen minutes, and I had to walk quite a distance from where I parked. And find the men’s department. All and all, I suspect that the total transaction from the moment I touched the first jacket to walking out with the jacket in the bag was 2 minutes, 45 seconds tops. This may be a personal best.


Blogger Syd said...

Now that's my kind of shopping. The discount is just a bonus. I'd gladly pay full price to get my ass out the door. Great looking jacket, btw.

10:01 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Actually, that's not my jacket. Mine is darker. I'm too lazy to photograph anything, so I found that photo on Flickr.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

roflmao gotta love a man on a mission with a purpose.....AND when it all works out so when that happens!!!

12:15 PM  
Blogger Miss Sassy said...

Surely we are capable of the same, but we get distracted with wondering how our bodies would acclimate to all those fabulous yet completely rediculous footwears on the way to the "MUST GET BUSINESS ATTIRE" section we seek.
Impressive none the less - I am a big fan of rediculous footwear and surely the walk from the car to the upstairs ANYTHING would require more than 17 minutes, though you would only see that I am quite interested in whatever display is on the way to the stairs... trick of the female trade ;)

5:24 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Sounds like the old hunter/gatherer thing in play here... The shoes I saw are really cool, but would serve no purpose around the live stock.

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right on, good to hear a man can shop for his own "stuff". I say that because until recently my husband of 15 yrs never bought his own clothes. He has adopted my taste, weird huh?

9:51 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

You could have nipped that in the bud by telling him you were only going to dress him in pink from now on. You missed a good chance at some laughs there.

10:12 AM  

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