Aging With Grace

I was having a chat with the Blue Mamba the other day.  She beaming with motherly pride.  Her son recently moved back to the area and she is delighted with what a fine adult he has become.  He seems to be interested in everything and absorbs everything he can.

I had to admit that when I was his age I was very much the same.  I'd read several books a week.  I was at all the hot spots and events that were happening.  I knew all the up and comers and was very aware of everything in the news and in entertainment.  I could stay up for days at a time.  I could work two jobs and go to school full-time.  There was no reason to stop being constantly on the go.  I was fit and flexible and open to all ideas.  I loved conversation. I listened to radio constantly, I even left a radio on all night when I slept.  Music, music, music, I couldn't get enough.  I used to have all the latest technology.

Now I find that a half of a life later I'm no longer impressed by topical stuff.  I read one book a year if I am lucky.  I see people who are supposed to be famous and I have no idea who they are, nor do I care.  It seems people are famous for being famous with little tangible substance.  I don't care about philosophy or religion. I care less about politics.  I only listen to OPB radio and they never play music.  I don't like people much either.  I can stand most people for a time limited to under four-hours.  I don't really care to go anywhere, and if I never see a movie or a play again I'll be totally happy with that.

I'm even bored by the Internet.  I've let several of my sites and blogs fall by the way-side.  I am sick of Facebook and I'm visiting that less and less.  I don't check all that many blogs anymore either.  The golden age of blogging is long over.  I can hardly stand email anymore.  When I see something new in my inbox I think, "Oh shit, I'll have to deal with something now."

I no longer care much for new technology.  I couldn't stand my smart phone so I got rid of it and got an old fashioned stupid phone and it works great.  We still have a land line because most cell phones sound like shit. I have a cassette player in my car and I don't care to upgrade it, I just listen to OPB radio while driving.  We haven't upgraded to a flat screen TV yet, our old tube set is still doing fine.  We have three vehicles and all three were made in the 20th Century.  I refuse to send texts and I delete any that are sent to me.

I think Tattoos are stupid, as are piercings and any other type of mutilation.  When I see someone who shaves their head I think of them as a skinhead.

So yes, I am older and far less flexible and I don't care.  This is want happens when one ages.  The passions don't flow as deeply and all your desire for input is exchanged for a want of silence without complication.  It is less important to do things that make you feel great and more important that your knees and hips and back will allow you a pain-free day.  When I was young it was important to me that parts of my anatomy would stand up straight several times a day and now it is important that I stand up straight when ever I rise to my feet.

I remember when I was the age of Blue Mamba's son.  I have fond memories of those times, but time moves forward and to go back to who I once was would be out of nature and hard on the body.  There are reasons one slows down and calms down as one ages. I embrace my present age and I'm glad that I came to my senses as to what is really important and appropriate at this time in life.

You Can Never Go Back

The photo above is of burgers that were purchased two years previous to the photo being taken.  Note there has been no decomposition or mold...

The older I get the more I realize that time is meant to go in one direction and one direction only.  Sure we are fond of things from our past that made us who we are today, but we can never really go back and it is best we don’t even try.  Sometimes I think it would be fun to revisit some of the places I’ve been or the things that I’ve done.  However when I do succumb to the temptation; more often than not I find disappointment in epic proportions.

I recall when I was in my 20s living back east, every Tuesday night me and a bunch of friends would go to Fuddruckers.  It was a noisy burger joint with indoor neon signs.  When you entered and got in line to order you stood next a large glass window where there were several beef carcasses on the hook and there was a butcher cutting and grinding meat.  This showed the product was fresh, though many Americans like to disguise or not recognize that their meat comes from animals. This was in your face.

Whenever I drive North on I-5 towards Portland I see a Fuddruckers just off the Lake Oswego exit.  I’ve been tempted to stop but never have until last week.  Fuddruckers promotions say they sell the world’s greatest hamburgers.  The building looked like other Fudd’s I’d been in before except the butcher shop no longer had beef on the hook.  Instead there was a tray of large raw burgers that were probably previously frozen, or even made of plastic for that matter.

Everything was familiar at the counter where one places their order except the prices have risen drastically since my last visit.  Once you get your order you go through a fixins bar that had tomatoes without flavor or texture of anything that was once living.  The lettuce was iceberg and everything else was about as interesting as a recycled cardboard.

I now must say that this was not the world’s greatest hamburger.  It wasn’t great at all and even the on-site baked burger buns couldn’t save the experience.  Furthermore the noise that I found charming in my 20s was now annoying.  I realize not that the acoustics in there are poor just to distract the senses so you don’t realize how bad the food really is.

The 30 years that are now behind me from my 20s makes me question if this place was ever any good.  Maybe in retrospect the only competition back then were places like McDonalds and Burger King that sold and still sells indigestible plastic that they call beef.  Compared to that the Fudd’s burger was good, but now it seems to fall in line with its former competitors.

Like time, I’m going to move forward and am no longer going to look back.  I want to shield myself from any more disappointment.  I have so many fond memories of my youth and I want them to remain as fond memories.  I don’t want to expose them as anything different with the spot light of reality.

Of Montreal

Mark Twain once said that Wagner's music was really much better than it sounds...

Maybe our memories of the music of the 60s, 70s and 80s is faulty.  I swear what we were listening to back then was great, but when I go back and listen to the old stuff  in the present day I am woefully disappointed. I can put aside all the times that were defined by what I was listening to back then mostly because as I age my memories fade making the music stand on its own without the crutch of good times supporting it.

I came across the group "Of Montreal" and in particular their 2007 album called Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?  This collection immediately took me back to the pioneer days of Brian Eno and Bowie, 801 with a side of Zappa.  You might even detect a touch of Queen and They Might Be Giants.

Now be careful with this group, each of their other albums I've listened to are great, too, but great in a different way.  Each of them goes off in a totally different direction.  This is why I say you should start with this album and then if you choose to journey further with them you have been primed for that which is next.  They have eleven albums to pick through.

For me this group really plays off my short attention span with constant changes in direction which keeps it all very interesting.

The cool thing is that I found the entire album in one file on Youtube, click this link Of Montreal to hear it all.

Taxing Issues

One of the thing that makes the United States stand out in the civilized world is our willingness to butt in where we don't belong fully funding questionable countries and situations at the same time doing little to help those dealing with domestic natural, health or housing disasters.  We allow mental illness to go untreated yet dump money into the eventual incarceration of the people with mental health issues.

It seems that America has lost it's way in regards to maintaining or rebuilding the infrastructure that once made us a great nation.  Our highways and bridges are a mess.  Our air traffic system is antiquated.  Our power grid is vulnerable to all sorts of sabotage and mishaps.

Presently our nation would never be able to get the support it took to build the interstate high-way system.   I doubt we would ever be able to have a project like one of the dam building projects.  I doubt we would ever be able to build  NASA from scratch.

I think the government is missing some great tax options that could restore this nation to what it once was when people were doing pretty well financially and they felt the US was a safe place to live and a land of opportunity.

We should legalize and tax marijuana. We should tax fire arm and ammunition purchases.  Finally we should tax the churches.

Legalizing marijuana is a no-brainer because the majority of the population thinks it should be legal and when it it legal it will cost less to produce and distribute and even adding a tax it will cost less than it presently costs to obtain it.

Before you NRA kooks pop a nut you need to realize there is a federal department dedicated to alcohol, tobacco and fire arms of which alcohol and tobacco are taxed, why fire arms and ammo not taxed?  The NRA wants gun laws to be enforced and they want to place armed guards in every school and they think mental health needs to be addressed... figures show that there were 16,808,538 gun applications in 2012 at the end of November.  If gun purchasing loopholes were closed so that every purchase was taxed and tax each bullet we could easily raise billions every year.  Instead of being annoyed by the constant sound of gun fire I hear while living out in the country, I could instead hear the the sound of tax money being made to support society.  If we have a government agency with the word "fire arms" in its name we should be taxing all things fire arms to protect the integrity of the fire arms and those who use them.


Finally, the churches.  The churches thrive in this country and they are protected under the constitution.  They are free to pick up rattle snakes.  They are free to sell flowers at the airports.  They are free to publish and distribute their tracts.  They are free to brainwash children and the weak minded.  They are free to ignore science and dictate or at least strongly lobby public policy.  They are free to picket funerals and create international incidents.  They are free to have TV and radio stations. They are free to solicit funds and worship openly.  All this freedom and they aren't paying a cent to the government that keep them free to behave like knuckleheads.  I think it's high time they tithe 10% to the United States.

If these three taxes were initiated we could have universal health care; no one would be going without food or shelter in this country and our personal tax rates could fall.  We could get the infrastructure back to where it should be and put people to work and provide social programs for those not wanting to have god shoved down their throats.

Other Lives

I haven’t done a musical post for quite some time now.  I’m not listening to much these days, but whenever I tune into KANM on iTunes radio I usually come away with something cool to search out.

My new musical love is a group called Other Lives.  Their eleven song album titled Tamer Animals is an eclectic collection of sounds that are reminiscent of John Lennon, Philip Glass, ELO, Steeleye Span, Sufjan Stevens and Bear McCreary. Yes,  you get extra points for knowing who Bear McCreary if and can understand why the song in the video clip reminds me of his writing style.

It’s a good collection, seek them out.

Here’s a video clip of the group performing Weather. Other Lives Video

Over Exposed

There is a new entity on Facebook that claims to expose the under-belly of Clatsop County.    This site became active last Friday and was quickly followed by a similar site for Tillamook County on Sunday.

Though the administrators of this page give no hints as to who they are or what their real intentions are for setting up an inflammatory site such as this.  Many of the people commenting ask who is in charge and no answers come forward.  As a person who does not read any local newspapers or listen to local news, I’m not sure how public or quasi-public or factual any of their posts are, but their editorializing and character assessments are slanderous of people who have yet to be tried or convicted. 

One case in point is a woman featured in Tillamook who the list as “Tillamook's most famous criMILFinal”, please note the word criminal is spelled with the letters MILF which is an acronym of “Mother I’d Like to Fuck”.  I hope her defense attorney is paying attention for this bonanza because her case just got a lot easier to dismiss.  There is no way to solicit a retraction since there is no one to track down, hence no one is responsible or accountable for what is published.  It's hard to sue them for slander.

It seems like this page is put together with some assistance of law enforcement on some level.  I haven’t heard any statements of denial from the Sheriff which surprises me.  I’ve always found the Deputies in this county to be real up-standing professionals.  I’ve never seen them display any vengeful streak and I found them to be down-right compassionate and even have great senses of humor.  I’ve seen them treat criminals with respect.

The problem with these pages is that they are being used as a public pillory with no regards to the presumption of innocence.  It is a place for internet bullies to strike at those without regard to a possible innocence or sincere attempt at rehabilitation.  Records can be legally sealed or expunged, but the Internet cannot.  

I am curious who will be left out of their spotlight.  Will the child of a local Judge and a local attorney be spared?   How about the child of a local newspaper publisher?  How about a local newspaper publisher?  I wait for them to publish something about someone with local power, influence or respectability, though respectability is rarely shared with those with power or influence.

This site shows that the administrators and many of those who comment on this site are the true underbelly of our County.  This is the local equivalent of the Jerry Springer Show.  It is a site of mob mentality and retribution.  I wonder what other ideas they have to humiliate those who are presently serving time for their crimes and those who haven’t even been arraigned yet.

It's really odd to see the commenters propose punishment for the criminals from hanging, throat slitting and shooting them in the head.  It seems the audience has violent tendencies as well and are only one psychotic freak-out from being incarcerated themselves.

I really hope that local law enforcement isn't involved with this site.  If they are they will totally lose my support and respect and this will weigh heavily on any future bond measures for a new jail.

If I Am Elected...

I was watching the inauguration the other day and I kept catching myself saying, "If I were elected I'd do away with that..."  I can't stand a lot of the pomp and circumstance, though I see that some of it is necessary to make the people feel vested, or something like that.

First, where the hell did all those cops come from?  There was a wall of cops standing on both sides of the road for miles of the parade route.  We've become a total police state.  This is why our prisons are overcrowded, too many cops with too much time to justify their jobs.

If it were me up there, there'd be no Tabernacle choir, there'd be no poet, there'd be no blessing.  I wouldn't put my hand on a Bible nor would I say "So help me God."  I'd have to be sworn in on a ratty copy of In Water Mellon Sugar.

I would not attend National Prayer Day, except only to announce that I plan to tax the churches.

As for my inauguration speech, I tell the NRA that they are welcome to have shot guns and hunting rifles with clips that hold five or fewer rounds. If they want to shoot anything larger they will need to join a "Well Regulated Militia" like the 2nd amendment states and I'd direct them to the nearest recruiting office.

I would implement a rating system for news programs where they would have to display their rating for objectivity, accuracy and relevance the entire time of their broadcast.

I'd tell Israel that they are now on their own because they are just another theocratic terrorist nation.

The words "In God We Trust" would be removed from our currency.

I would recommend and support the secession of the states of Texas and Arizona; those states are too far gone and need to be on their own.

By executive order Marijuana would be totally legal to grow, possess, transport and use, however all intoxication laws will still apply.

Fuel will no longer be made from food and ethanol will only be sold to people who actually want to burn that crap.

Students will not be able to drop out of school until age 18.  The only option for leaving school at an earlier age will be to meet all the graduation requirements before that age or pass all three sections of the GED test.

I would reward with financial incentives any county that includes a Planned Parenthood clinic as community  health center for women.

I would give tax credits to people who reduced their energy consumption over a previous year.

Finally, douche bags would have to choose only one; either the goatee, the short baggy pants, the sun glasses or the hat; not all four.

Privacy

I think most people are so complacent in regards to their on-line privacy.  I am fully aware of how an on-line presence leaves one open for all sorts of bad things and that is why I chose to use the name, "Guy Whowritesthis" as my pen name for this blog and for my Facebook account.  I am basically anonymous, but with a little effort anyone can figure out who I am as many people have.

I was recently involved in a comment on a gun control issue on a Facebook post and one of the other people who commented demanded I give my real name.  I would never use my real name on Facebook and I question the sanity of anyone who does. I immediately checked out this person's Facebook account and came back with this reply: " I took a quick look at your Facebook page and you not only list your date of birth and where you are from, and when you went to high school and your husband's name and the names of your children. You are leaving yourself open for identity fraud. Do you really want that?"
One could easily mine the information she provided and be well on their way to identity theft which will be a lot harder to mop up after the fact.

Facebook is basically data collection service in which people volunteer the most intimate portions of their lives.  The funny thing is that a lot of gun owners who refuse to register their guns are giving freely giving all sorts of info on themselves to the Internet where just about anyone can see it.

I had another instance recently where a Facebook friend posted the date when he would be going on vacation.  I saw him after that post and asked if he had lost his mind.  He is a pretty well known person and I'm sure there are people that read his posts who could easily take advantage of his absence.  He told me that few people know where he lives, but I'm sure it a public record that is find-able in less than a few minutes on the Internet.

People, you need to start paying attention.  Are you setting yourself up for exposure that could ruin your life?  I know Facebook is fun and your intentions for setting up your account was so you could connect with people you know or have known in the past but in reality you are volunteering all your information for free.  Remember on Facebook you think you are getting a great free product, but in reality you are the product.

It's The Small Victories

Back in the 70s I had no fear of mechanical endeavors.  I had a Jeep that needed constant repair and  I was confident to open the hood and crawl in and mingle with the problems.  As time went on cars got more complicated and one needed uni-task tools and an array of diagnostic equipment.  Often one has to remove half of the under the hood content just to replace a plug.  I  had to remove all sorts of stuff just to replace the head lamp on my former Dodge pick-up.  I was shocked to see what one needs to remove just to replace a lamp in the floor shifter of a Subaru.  I fixed it and that will save me paying for an hour of labor.

I recently got a car that is not meant to be worked on by humans.  There is a plastic covering over the entire engine.  The only thing that is visible and accessible is the dip stick for the oil and the oil filler cap.  I discovered that the windshield spritzers were inoperable.  I had to remove a panel on the bottom side of the hood just to discover that the hose had become disconnected.  I was actually able to fix it.

The car doors constantly locked and the alarm went off every time I opened the door and there I found the rubber gasket on the key was stuck depressing the button for the lock mode.I was able to free it with a sharp tool that lifted the rubber gasket.  Another problem solved.

I love finding solutions to the small annoying problems especially since I am no longer equipped to handle the larger problems. It just makes my day, but fortunately these successes haven't spurred me into taking on any larger projects.  Perhaps my next car will come from a simpler time before the auto industry went craze with conveniences most people can't seem to live without.

Record Keeping

It is always a good idea to keep good records and I've attempted this over the years with my bees.  I have seen beekeepers have bar codes on their hives and they keep really good records of each visit to the bee year.  The only record I keep is how much honey was produced each year.  I don't keep track of how many colonies I kept each year so my stats are somewhat flawed, but it does give me my bottom line of production.  I don't keep track of the income and out-lay because I'm sure I'd get depressed over only making a few cents per hour for my efforts.

This year was a particularly poor year for honey.  Most years I get around 250 pounds; this year the yield was a mere 60 pounds.

2012 was the first year I kept track of the daily egg harvest.  During the year my hens laid 2273 eggs of which 67 were broken and had to be thrown away.  This comes down to nearly 190 eggs per month or a little over 6 eggs per day.

I'm doing a little better than breaking even on the eggs I sell, or at least I will after a few more years considering how much money I spent building the coop.  The honey price will need to go up this year.  I've been charging the same price for about 13 years now, so it is time to boost the bee economy.

Guns

I run a \Facebook page for an agricultural organization of which I am a member.  People in agriculture are often the most conservative delusional paranoid people I have ever dealt with. During the election they posted a bunch of racist anti Obama stuff, but now their team lost they are focusing on guns and the 2nd Amendment and I don't believe they truly grasp what they are implying.


Their main thing they state is that we are allowed by the constitution to defend our country against a tyrannical government.  The 2nd amendment actually only states: Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

So lets say for a minute that their interpretation is correct.  What they fail to realize is that in their opinion we already have a tyrannical government and they aren't doing anything about it other than complaining on Facebook about it.  So why don't these pussies with all the guns rise up and end the tyranny?  Maybe in the back of their mind they realize that the government has more man-power and weaponry that they can possibly imagine as proven to their brothers in arms; Tim McVeigh, David Koresh, and the Weaver family at Ruby Ridge.

Their delusional diatribe states that to fix the gun problem there needs to be more guns, which makes as much sense as infecting everyone with AIDS to solve the AIDS problem, or require everyone to drive drunk to stop drunk driving.

The government logistically can not round up all the guns, but if they wanted to solve the gun problem they can make it illegal to manufacture or import any weapons in the United States.  This will stem the flow and eventually all the guns that can be stolen and used in a crime will be confiscated.

Then to protect the peoples right as explained in the 2nd amendment the only fire arms that should legally be manufactured and purchased in this country will have the exact form and function of any fire arm that was produced in 1791 when the constitution was adopted.  That should be more than enough for hunting and for the occasional murder, but not fast enough to reload to shoot up a school, a church or a shopping mall.

Death Pool 2013

This is the 7th Annual Astoria Rust Death Pool.  Last years predictions were correct only twice out of thirteen contestants; Dick Clark and Etta James.  With no further adieu here the list for 2013:

Margaret Thatcher
Petula Clark
Stephen Hawkings
Hugo Chavez
Nancy Reagan
Michael Douglas
Judy Collins
Don Imus
George H.W. Bush
Nelson Mandela
Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lee Lewis
Daniel Day Lewis
Yoko Ono
Ross Perot
Ariel Sharon

Predictions for 2013

As I look into the Astoria Rust Crystal Ball (patent pending) here are 10 predictions of trends that I see for 2013:
1. Bio-metrics will begin replacing passwords for access to everything being that everyone on the planet has now been hacked at one time or another.  Conservatives will resist because it is forward thinking.
2. Pony tails and goatees will be out for men in the civilized areas of the country. If there is a twang in the local vernacular, then this won't be realized for at least another 15 years.
3. People will realize that Target stores are basically Walmarts with better TV commercials.
4. Someone will come up with a Thai food that doesn't give you the shits.
5. Black Friday will begin on October 31st.
6. Tattoos will lose favor and be replaced by bumper stickers as many Americans realize that the body art they adopted 6 months ago is now totally irrelevant.
7. Vintage motorcycles will be purchased and wrecked by the thousands, which is great news for potential organ recipients.
8. Internet mini TV shows (crackle.com) will be the rage where we with short attention spans can see just enough before getting bored.  Shows such as Jailbait, Star-ving Gay-Town and Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee are proving to be just what we need and only take under 15 minutes to view.  Well written, bite sized entertainment.
9. A new social media will come around that will replace Facebook.  It will incorporate all the best of My Space, Facebook, Google +, Skype and CU-SeeMe. (Please come true...Please cone true.)
10. Skinny ties will be worn again by more people other than just Joel McHale.

Chicken Crazy

As of my last writing of chickens you were aware that we ordered and received two batches of baby chicks about six weeks ago.  They about two weeks apart; the Leghorns came first followed by the Dorkings.  We tried putting them together, but immediately the elder chicks started picking on the younger ones.

We keep the chicks warm in the house for the first couple weeks until they grow some feathers and until they start to smell and then we put them in the green house.  The two batches each got their own penned in area in two of the raised beds.  We left heat lamps on them at night and as they grew we opened their pens to allow them a bigger space.

Sadly the Leghorns cornered three of the Dorkings and nearly pecked them to death.  Their heads were cut and bloodied.  Leaving them would have meant infection and certain death.  Most people would have dispatched them on the spot, but we are chicken people so my wife took them to a vet to get stitched up.  They spent the weekend in the animal hospital and we got them back with a bill that was much more that we will ever recover from the sale of their eggs.

We have since moved Longhorns into the main coop and gave them some cover to prevent the adult hens from pecking them to death.  Now the Dorkings have the greenhouse to themselves.  We are going to wait several more weeks before introducing them to the other flock.

You know you are a chicken person if you go to these extremes to keep your flock alive.

My Robot Friend

I've been meaning to do a piece on Bingo Gazingo for some time now and somehow it all came together recently while listening to My Robot Friend.  I could have easilly done a piece on each, but now they are linked in my head forever.

My Robot Friend is a group of musicians that take the type of music that Kraft Werk did in the later Twentieth Century and upgraded it to the 21st century.
For more info on them and to listen to some of their tracks you can visit their site:
http://www.myrobotfriend.com/

Now Bingo Gazingo was an elderly stream of consciousness poet in New York City who died in 2010 at the age of 84.

Here is a recording of the two of them together and they make a remarkable combination.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ1EJG45oWg

16 Degrees South of East

When I first moved here there was a nice high and wide car port that was connected to my garage.  The roof was rather flat and covered with rolled roofing.  It leaked in several spots and the sheathing was rotting out.  It was time to fix it before it collapsed, so I increased the slope so it would have a faster run-off and I topped it with corrugated metal roofing.  Within the next year we had a wind storm and it pealed the metal roof off in one sheet and deposited it on the lawn behind the garage.  I learned that the screws that came with the roofing were too small, so I reattached the roof with much longer screws.  Though even with longer screws the wind would lift panels and the metal would rip around where the screws were attached  There were other problems with the metal roof where the seams would leak and then there was the dripping condensation.  Nothing beneath would ever remain dry.

Later when we got horses I decided to go back to a plywood roof with rolled roofing.  I converted this car port into two horse stalls and a room to store hay, feed and saddles.  The first wind storm that came up after I made the change ripped all the rolled roofing off, so I put down a new roof and I nailed the living crap out of the windward edge.  It felt good to know that it would never blow away again.

Then there was the great storm of 2007 where we had 100+ MPH winds for three days.  This storm didn't mess with the rolled roofing; instead it removed the entire roof, plywood, joists and everything.  I rebuilt it, but the next year the new rolled roofing was once again pealed off.

No matter how I attach this roof it finds a way of blowing off.  This roof had been good for the last two years however the storm last week deposited the rolled roofing in a pile on the lawn.  I am now replacing the rolled roofing one more time, but this time rather than rolling it out horizontally I'm rolling it vertically and I'm adding a lot of sealer to the seams.  I'm curious to see if this is the final fix.

By the way, a neighbor has the back end of his garage roof that faces the same direction, and there is a one-square section (10' X 10') that he can't keep a roof on either.

Fear

I am for the most part a man without fear.  This is not to say I’m one of those guys who says, “Hold my beer” and goes off on an Darwin Award winning performance of stupidity.  I just don’t fear things that many people fear, like creepy/crawlies, the dark, Hell fire, avenging gods…

I have done things and assumed the risk of inherent dangers, such as working on roofs, driving in hazardous weather conditions and riding horses that weren’t suitable for a rider of my skill level.   I’ve worked overly aggressive bees and even stood atop a ladder collecting bees from walls of a barn.  I’ve done these things without fear, but with a healthy and sober respect for the situation and with a hopeful beneficial outcome.

Oddly there is only one thing I do have trepidation with.  One might even call it a fear; though I do tread cautiously and respectfully.  My fear is escalators.  When confronted with one I will always pause and wait for just right moment and then I leap on.  If I am wearing shoes with laces I’ll pause ten feet before the landing to make sure my laces are not anywhere that can be sucked in the maw of my mechanical demon.

When the ride is at an end I will bound off like a deer going over a fence so as to avoid a conflict as the step plates vanishes beneath the tines at the end.

I no longer come across unavoidable circumstances where an escalator is the only option.  I never go to shopping malls and I’m not even sure if any shopping malls in Oregon have an escalator.  The Portland Air Port is the only place I know of locally that has one.  When confronted with an escalator I will use it with caution, awareness and respect.

How Come?

How come people don't yawn while they are sleeping?  Further more why don't people snore while they are awake?

A Chess Story

Jerry Seinfeld has a new series called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. It isn't on TV, but it is on the Internet.  It is actually another show about nothing.  It starts with Jerry driving a unique automobile and calling a comedian friend and inviting them out for coffee.  From there they just chat on the way to a cafe, at the cafe and on the way home from the cafe.  The conversations are insightful and at times very abstract. 

The shows run from six to seventeen minutes or so.  Presently there are about ten episodes available, but as the title of this post suggests there is one story in one particular to one show that I am totally fascinated with.  It is the one he did with Seinfeld alumni, Michael Richards and Michael talks about his experience playing chess which I can relate to because I once fancied myself as a talented chess player.  This story also alludes to why I no longer boast about my Scrabble abilities.

See the video here
http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/

Anatomy of Envy

Envy often has strong overtones of malice, however when I speak of my personal situations of envy I have more of a "You Lucky Bastard" theme going on.

When we were new horse owners we would visit other friends with horses and openly admit our pasture envy.  Our horses were eating on fenced in lawn areas and others had vast expanses of real pasture.  Since then we've established five pastures on our property, so that envy is subsiding.  Now we have indoor arena envy.

I spent a lot of time with Gearhead at a conference this weekend.  Gearhead has been a dear friend for the last ten years and a major source of envy for me.  He lives on this beautiful farm, has an immaculate shop, a cool vintage trucks, motorcycles and he invents cool stuff, like his fork lift that can go 60 MPH.  He has a really cool tractor and the list goes on and on.  He rubs it in and I don't mind.  I know what hard work it took for him to get all these things and I don't begrudge him any of his success.  If I had different priorities, I could have a vintage truck and a tractor and so on.

Well Gearhead topped himself this weekend.  He introduced me to his daughter.  I never wanted children, yet oddly as I grow older and I see the now adult children of my friends I get a twinge where I wonder if it would have been worth it to have some children of my own, especially a daughter. It seems that daughters mature into better people earlier than boys.  Boys don't seem to mature into something you can be proud of until they get into their mid 40's, but it seems girls mature nicely by the time they get out of college and they just seem to understand what it takes to be mature and civil.

So thanks, Gearhead.  You've instilled me with daughter envy just when I was content without one.