Sounds Bad Doesn't It?

Sometimes I have to laugh and go eeew when certain archaic terms are used. The other day I heard the term "Sexpot." I don't know if the term is still in common use, but it once described someone one who is super sexy, however if you form a mental picture of what a sex pot might look like the term becomes totally repulsive.

Another of these weird terms is "Sex Kitten." This is wrong on so many levels, yet it is still in common use.

Do you readers have any others?

My Vote

Being an unaffiliated voter I am the target of both Republicans and Democrats who want to sway me to vote for their candidates. If you are in the party leadership I think you should know that I throw all of your mail away without reading it (as does everyone else) and I keep track of who phoned me most often and every phone call I get on behalf of a candidate makes me less likely to vote for them. Rob Cornilles' campaign bothered me with 7 calls, one of which was a robo call from a former commissioner, who I saw recently and asked if he had lost his mind...

Look, I don't care what your campaign people tell you but a lawn sign has never convinced me to vote for someone. A direct mail campaign has never changed my mind and most of all phone calls make me run in another direction. I find it ironic that a candidate that wants less government intrusion feels free to intrude in my life via the telephone.

Trust me, I know what you stand for and against. I know what you said in your debates. I read the voter pamphlet. If you want to impress me don't waste money on lawn signs, mailings surveys and phone banks. Take your campaign funds and donate them to a food bank or to a non profit clinic or to schools in your district. This would tell voters that your heart is really in the causes you believe in and getting elected will be a benefit of your charity.

The Worst Coffee Ever

At this minute I am drinking possibly the worst cup of coffee I've ever had. I have no one but me and my laziness to blame. First let me state that I do know the difference between a good cup of coffee and mediocre coffee and bad coffee. My taste in coffee is pedestrian compared to people who spend $10+ dollars a day on their habit. I like to use half and half and sugar. I find it brings out some of the hidden complexity of the better coffees.

I know bad coffee, like the coffee that is offered in hotel rooms and aluminum pot catering hall coffee, most restaurant coffee...however I think I've topped them all.

I did mention that I am lazy about coffee. I rarely ever grind coffee and I normally buy the big bag of Pleasant Hill coffee from Costco. I set it up in our coffee maker and set the timer so the coffee is waiting for me when I wake up at 5AM.

A couple weeks ago my wife cleaned our coffee maker and I think it was submerged. The clock and timer stopped working, so I unplugged it and let it dry. After that point I got the clock working again, and the timer was difficult to set but I was able to wrangle it into submission, but the time was set in stone and I have been unable to change it since.

So last night I set it up as usual, but somehow at midnight the smell of freshly brewed coffee was wafting up-stairs. I thought it was just a dream, but I got up before 5 and found a tepid carafe awaiting me. The timer now turns on to brew randomly. Too lazy to brew a fresh pot; I had bad coffee. For my second cup I realized I ran out of half and half (too lazy to go shopping)so I used my wife's sugar-free french vanilla creamer... Even though I microwaved the coffee it was absolutely bad and chemical in nature. I'm writing off the coffee today. Lets hope for a better tomorrow.

The Three Graces

Tonight I was the guest of honor of The Three Graces. It was Guy Appreciation Night. I have three women friends. Each of us are close for different reasons and we are all friends with one another. All of our demographics are very different, but we are all oddly tied together somehow is a strong friendship.

In Greek mythology The Three Graces are goddesses of such things as charm, beauty, and creativity. One of the Graces is and artist who I met because of this blog. I am a collector of her art; three pieces is a collection. One Grace is a cowgirl who I've ridden with often and we rely on one another to care for each others horses. The third Grace is a very stylish pillar of the community ; ) She has a strong moral compass. I appreciate her honesty and her quick reaction when someone does something evil. She is the champion of those who have been wronged.

It was an honor to be in the presence of these Three Graces for an hour this evening. It was great that they treated to a wonderful dinner.

Foodie Adjectives

I find it interesting how the names food items are given over to a use as human condition and general condition descriptions. For example:

Ducky is a snide description of thing being OK on the surface.
Corny is descriptive of something being silly and/or immature.
Nutty is descriptive of being crazy.
Flaky is descriptive of scatter-mindedness.
Seedy is descriptive of a less than honorable person or place.
Fruity is a descriptive slur of a male with feminine characteristics.
Peachy is descriptive of things being OK, and can also be snide.
Crabby is descriptive of a foul mood.
Foul is descriptive of a crabby mood.
Fishy is descriptive of something that is not right.
Cheesy is descriptive of something of poor quality.
Hammy is descriptive of a show-off.
Beefy is descriptive of one who is muscular.
Porky is descriptive of someone who is corpulent.

3D

Speaking of the woes of the film industry, you can tell that Hollywood has nothing new to offer when they have to resort to gimmicks such as 3D to lure the masses into a smelly dark room for 90 minutes.

A good film is good even if it is shot in grainy 2 dimensional black and white. Color doesn't make it better and 3-D further detracts from any charm.

Look at it this way, plays are in 3-D and that doesn't make them any better. I think a good spoken word or written story is superior to any technical adaptation. This is because with the spoken word or written story, your mind sets the parameters and in the movie theater one is at a total loss of control.

What Is It?

What is it? Is it my age creeping up that makes me intolerant? Is it a progression of my short attention span? Is it a case of “been there, done that”, or is it that the film industry has totally lost its ability to entertain?

Actually I will accept the blame totally and unabashedly. My most recent attempts with watching movies left me with the feeling of a wasted 90 minutes I’ll never get back. And it’s not like I’d be doing something better if the movie wasn’t on. I’d be watching the stock pile of show on my DVR such as Oddities, or Alton Brown’s Good Eats, or Torchwood.

If I can stand half hour or one hour TV shows that are littered and defiled with commercials, why can’t I stand watching a film for 90 minutes? Why do I find films unreasonable, unnecessary and tedious?

My wife is sensitive to my dislike of movies that she now orders mostly documentaries from Netflix, but there too the documentaries often go on too long. Though the topics are interesting, like to one on the deaf percussionist who feels the music through her body and the one we just saw on the history of the font Helvetica; I find that 90 minutes is a bit more than one should have to endure on any topic.

I guess my point is that is if an episode Dr. Who can open a show with blind optimism, be confronted with a problem, figure it out and save the entire universe in 50 minutes leaving me feeling totally fascinated and fulfilled, why can’t the movie industry edit out all the crap? Have the writers lost the ability to be concise? Sure there are epic stories that can not be told in 90 minutes, such as Moby Dick, but the endless slew of formula movies are no where near epic stories.

Death Pool 2012

I really suck at this. Here is the Death Pool list from last year. I only got one right, Elizabeth Taylor.

Billy Graham
Elizabeth Taylor
Maya Angelou
Martin Landeau
Ed Asner
June Lockhart
Robert Duvall
Gordon Lightfoot
Andy Grifith
Dr Ruth Westheimer
Roslyn Carter
Larry King
Tim Conway
Jim Neighbors
Sun Myung Moon
Frank Gifford
John Madden
Buck Henry

Here is the Death Pool list for 2012, assuring these folks of long happy lives:

Etta James
Bob Newhart
Lauren Michaels
Penny Marshall
Eydie Gorme
Leonard Cohen
Fidel Castro
James Garner
Dick Cheney
Billy Graham
Dick Clark
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Aretha Franklin

How To Be A Republican Man

It's not so important that you believe in smaller government while desiring to grow the government to regulate morality. It isn't so important that you believe in someone that was born of a virgin, turned water into wine, walked on water and came back to life after being dead for three days, yet be totally unable to take the leap of faith in believing in a theory, such as evolution...gravity is a theory as well.

What is important is that you have a blond wife. See examples below:

My New Favorite Song

Normally when I listen to a song I rarely care about the words; it's more of a thing about texture and mood for me, but every once in a while the words break through. Just like the words of the Farmers Hotel by the Silver Jews got me; I've now been gotten to by the Drive-By Truckers song, "The Wig He Made Her Wear." I love this tune. The Wig He Made Her Wear Video

Musical Machine Video

This incredible machine was built as a collaborative effort between the Robert M. Trammell Music Conservatory and the Sharon Wick School of Engineering at the niversity of Iowa . Amazingly, 97% of the machine's components came from John Deere Industries and Irrigation Equipment of Bancroft , Iowa .. Yes, farm equipment!

It took the team a combined 13,029 hours (6.26 years) of set-up, alignment, calibration, and tuning before filming this video but as you can see, it was WELL worth the effort.

It is now on display in the Matthew Gerhard Alumni Hall at the University
and is already slated to be donated to the Smithsonian. Musical Machine Video

The Worst Of the Best Of

No, this isn't going to be an annual review of the things I did and didn't like in the past year. It is more of a comment on just how bad the music was that we used to listen to and now accept it as classic gold.

OK, so I hear this commercial for the Fender sound system in the new VWs and they are playing Elton John's Rocket Man. I haven't heard the song for years and the commercial sound pretty cool. Next I track down a Best of Elton John and give it a good listen and find most songs some what clever, but over produced with sounds that are incongruous to the song and the feeling that is explored within. Here was the soundtrack or if you prefer, background noise of my generation in the 70's and 80's and most of it was really bad.

A few months ago the same thing happened with me and the Monkees. There were some interesting musical concepts and and the occasional interesting sound, but adding 45 years of perspective in the mix it was down-right awful.

You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but no, I had to go back and listen to Bruce Springsteen. There was very little in his collection that will stand up to time. He comes off as another grunting guy form Asbury Park, the Jersey Shore never changes. Maybe things would have been different had he been from Manasquan.

I could go on about the disappointments I've suffered whilst reacquainting myself with the music of my youth, but I will spare you. However dear reader, I do advise you not to revisit the music that you hold sacred. Let it play in your mind and dance with your youthful memories. If you try to pour that stuff through your older ears you will just ruin your memories and you will wonder if you lived in a fantasy world back then or lived a giant lie perpetuated by the radio stations we grew up with. Damn you Dan Ingrham and Cousin Brucie!!! Damn you to Hell!!!

Red Horses

I know I haven't written since Duke's passing and that isn't because I was too busy mourning. It's sad, but I've moved on. It's time for a new horse.

I've written at length over the years about getting new horses, or as I call it kissing frogs. I'm pretty easy to please and fortunately I get good enough horses that I'm able to work with their faults and they are able to work with mine as a rider.

She just got hers about two months ago and it's the best one she's had in years. And a couple days after Duke was gone an opportunity came my way. Now we both have even tempered red quarter horse geldings. Sure I miss the quirkiness of the last two thoroughbreds (actually appendix quarter horses.) But I really enjoy mellow these days.

OK, here's the funny part. My new horse is named Beaver. There is a better chance that an Oregon horse will be named Beaver because this is the beaver state, and there is some sort of sports team out there that are known as the Beavers...and so on. Regardless, that is his name and that is what he's been called since he was a colt. My wife thought that was a horrible name for a horse because of it being slang for women's genitalia and she insisted that I change it. I said, "OK, how about Snatch?" That didn't go over very well, so I said "What about Puss or Dick?" I came up with name after name related to the female and male anatomy and each sounded worse than Beaver. She suggested Copper, since his coat shines like a new penny, and she suggested other names, but I held fast. His name is Beaver. He has always been Beaver and he knows his name.

Finally after two weeks she seems to accept it. It is no longer a vulgar name, but rather the name of a horse with a good nature and a wonderful addition to our family.

Both of our horses are sorrel, a copper-ish red color. A friend described them as book ends. They get along great together. They both load in the trailer without hesitation. They both side pass, do haunch turns, forehand turns and best of all they have good smooth trots and canters. Best of all they can both walk out. Finally we have a well matched pair. Ride on!

Duke

Duke was a good horse. It takes about a year before a horse and a rider get to know one another. Within our first year I learned what he didn't like and he learned what I didn't like and we accommodated one another ever since. I trusted him to take his time and familiarize himself with his environment. He trusted me to go where ever I asked; be it into a horse trailer, through a river or over a bridge. On rare occasions he'd look back at me like he wanted to say, "Are you shitting me? Really? You want me to do that?" I'd loosen the reins and let him have his head and tell him it was OK and he would go where ever I asked.

Duke and I had an understanding. He'd come when I called him. I always spent a lot of time talking to him. I chattered to him every time I cleaned his pen and every time I fed him. I talk to him every time I put him out or brought him in for the night.

Sure, he had his faults, like all horses. He didn't like other geldings, he tried to be the alpha horse when he was with other horses, he'd try to bite you if you messed with his mouth or cinched him up too quickly and he test or misbehave with other who tried riding him. However, for me there was trust and I never pushed him further than he should have gone.

Duke was arthritic. He was that way when I got him several years ago. I treated him with an anti-inflammatory before and after rides. He was always willing to go out for another ride. I think he enjoyed getting out into the open. Lately I noticed his head dip when he walked on his left front leg. Then he started no being able to bear weight on that leg when I lifter the opposite foot for cleaning. I know he'd never be able to stand for a hoof cleaning or a trimming again. It was time.

Our vet came out and put him down yesterday. He went quickly and peacefully. If any mythology is true, maybe we'll ride together again one day.

Cool Chicken Shades

One of the disturbing things about chickens is that they will cannibalize one of their own if they detect that they have a wound. Even if I go out among them and there is a spot of paint on my shoe or pants leg they will peck at the blemish or the noticeably odd thing that is contrasted by a background color. If you have a cut on your hand they are all over it.

Chickens constantly peck at one another for the purpose of enforcing the pecking order, and if you have a lot of birds; that's a lot of pecking and if by chance a peck draws blood it can get really bad for the unfortunate chicken.

Joseph Haas invented these rose colored glasses in 1939 and at the time you could buy 100 of them for $3.00. The rose colored lenses masked the color of blood. These glasses were cool (the type in the photo below) because the glass swiveled allowing them to see with normal light when they pecked at the ground but stayed in place when viewing things with their heads up.

There are newer versions of these being produced today, but they are opaque red plastic and work more as blinders for forward vision.

My Weekend With Gearhead

Gearhead and I have been friends for the last dozen years. Oddly we only see one another once or twice a year. He lives in the Salem area and I live in the Astoria area. It's a two hour trip and we are too practical to visit on a whim. Besides I get farm envy when ever I visit him. He has a nice spread of land, a great barn and shop and lots of farm equipment.

Anyway, last weekend was our once a year to catch up face to face as we attended an annual conference. I am always fascinated by his mastery of not just having the right tool for the job, but designing and building the right tool for the job. He shared photos of the new fork lift he built that will do 60MPH, and yes it is advantageous for him to have a forklift that will go that fast. It has all the creature comforts such as a hydraulic powered tow bar that he uses to hitch up to his truck without getting off his lift.

We spent some time discussing a joint writing project that we are involved in and he always has ideas for things I should write about in this blog. We spent some time (like 14 year olds)proclaiming who is a douche bag and to what level their douchedom rises to in comparison to douches we have known in the past. We have a douche scale.

Gearhead is an inspiration to be around, though I doubt I'll ever get my shop as clean and organized as his. He makes things happen and he doesn't accept failure as an option. He retired while in his early 40's and went into agriculture full-time. He has a success record that most people could never achieve in a life-time. This is because he knows right from wrong and he possesses a moral compass which makes him incapable of passing on an inferior service on to anyone.

There are few people I consider as a friend, but Gearhead is one of the six people I'd put on that list.

I Found This Interesting

In reviewing this post I realized that it could be misconstrued as raciest which is why I am going to post the reply as the text of this blog.

A study of Art History shows that the progression of Western art started when primitive art started moving closer to realism and then a religious fervor took hold and Western art rolled back into icon art in the 1300's and then it moved more towards realism in the Renaissance. It wasn't until the 1800's when Western art moved into impressionism where the feeling of what was represented was an "impression" and up for interpretation. However with this traditional Japanese the interpretation cannot be mistaken. It is literal and you know exactly what you are seeing. Western art then moved to the abstract where any meaning can be totally misread. To me it seems the Japanese paintings, though technically simpler reflect reality better than most Western art.

Pi Pie

For those of you that don't follow me on Google +, here are some things you may have missed.

Occupied

I fully get the Occupy Wall Street movement. I totally agree that there needs to be more regulation of the financial industry to limit the risk that money managers can impose on their investors. I also feel that the loophole should be removed from the tax code and that everyone should taxed at the same rate.

That said, I understand why one wants their presence felt in the financial district, or in Washington, D.C. However, this "Occupy" movement isn't there. Instead they are occupying parks. Dudes, you are occupying parks! I'd understand if you were protesting squirrels for jumping on trees or protesting the pigeons because they shit on statues. People who run Wall Street don't visit parks, they own parks. They may have caught a glimpse of you on the news, but do you really think your presence will interrupt what they do?

Instead of camping out and making the nicer portions of your cities look like shit, why don't you lobby your representatives. Instead of those awful drum circles, why don't you drum up support and play the game the way the game is played these days. It was a great idea to use the social networks to get people to take their money out of big banks and put it into local banks and credit unions.

I guess what I'm saying is hanging out in parks isn't doing it. If anything, it waters down the fight to end homelessness which is what tent cities should call attention to. It's time to get to work and do something about the problem before you start losing the support of the people.

Oh Deer...

I noticed years ago how cyclical things are in nature here. Some years you will see a lot of one sort of animal and the next year you won't see them any more but you'll see a lot of a different type of animal.

A few years back I mentioned to an acquaintance that I had been hearing a lot of coyotes at night and he told me that was because the price of beaver pelts had gone down that year. Lower prices equals fewer people trapping beavers which equals to a higher population of beavers and a higher population of coyotes preying on the beavers.

Last year it was raccoons. They were everywhere and this year there are reports of sick raccoons showing up at people's houses and the police come by and dispatch them.

This year I'm predicting an up-coming increase in the cougar population because there seems to be deer everywhere. Day or night, I've been seeing deer on front lawns, in town, on the side of the road and in the road. I am normally a slow driver and there is so much deer activity that I've slowed it down even more. There are stretches of road on the way to my house where I have never seen deer in the past, but they are there now, too.

Driving home the other night I had to stop three different times on a five mile stretch to avoid a collision. I'm expecting a lot of auto body shops will be busy until the cougars can reset the balance of nature around here.