Aging Quietly

 I was in a waiting room for an appointment yesterday where I waited quietly to be called back for an annual eye exam. Everyone in the waiting room was old and I was probably the youngest old guy there.  The old women waited quietly and entertained themselves with their phones, but the men all took the situation as an opportunity to talk loudly.  It was like I was in a room full of Abe Simpsons "Back then nickels had bees on them and we'd say give me five bees for a quarter..." I heard all about RVing through the Arizona, and when you had to deplane on the tarmac at airports and how they took care of the family dog when they were young and how dogs like one twin but hated the other twin brother who wan never any good to start with...  It went on and on.

I had never been so delighted to be called back into the quiet dark room to get my pupils dilated.  Why do men become so talkative when they get old?  It's not like they really have anything useful to say.  Do they feel they have to purge everything in their mind before they pass?  It's like they are orally incontinent.  Perhaps they should be required to wear Depends face masks when in public...  

Perhaps I relate more with the quiet women entertaining themselves with their phones in the room due to lower testosterone levels as I grow older.  I am becoming an old granny and I think it is best because nobody wants to hear what I have going on inside this head.