He's Got A Woody

After reading what someone posted on the Rust Forum the other day, I got to wondering if some names should be banned from future use by parents. I’m talking about the name Woody.

When I was growing up a Woody was an early SUV. It was a cross between a van and a station wagon with actual wooden sides. It was popular with surfers and that is why you’ll hear reference to Woodys in old Beach Boy and Jan and Dean recordings.

The look was so popular that wood-grained sides became the standard of station wagon design by all manufacturers.

Time changes all things. In 1939 it meant something very different when someone said they were gay because they just got a Woody. The definition of “Woody” has changed from a style of car to an erection. So if any of you tell me you are polishing up the Woody, I only hope you are talking about a classic car. I don't want to hear about it if it isn't.

Also, it just doesn’t seem right to hang the name Woody on some poor unsuspecting child. I would also avoid naming a child Peter or Dick for obvious reasons. If your last name happens to be Johnson, caution is also needs to be exercised with the first name. Avoid names like Harry or Slim in that situation. Naming your kid Magic Johnson is a boast.