LNG, A Win-Win for Both Sides

If you've been following this blog over the years you may remember that at first I came out against LNG.  My mind was changed while driving home one late night or early one morning and I drove by some homes of anti LNG advocates and I noticed that the exteriors of their houses were lit up with all sorts of outdoor lighting and porch lamps. It was then that I realized that if they could waste electricity like that they had no right to complain about LNG. 

All these many years later I found a win-win solution for both sides of the LNG advocates and detractors.  The way I see it, the conservatives want LNG and the progressives don’t.  So, to break the stalemate I say the progressives give in and let LNG be developed in Warrenton.  If nothing goes wrong we will have a lot of new jobs in the area and the added revenue in the form of tax collection will go to schools, public safety and infrastructure.

Now, let’s say there is a problem and the LNG site blows up and vaporizes all of Warrenton.  Well this is the payback for the progressives because who lives in Warrenton?  Conservatives; and lots of them.  They are religious, Tea Party, Obama effigy hangers... and now they have been vaporized and the progressives will have a bigger share of the vote for generations.  The only conservatives left will be easily recognizable because most conservative men have blond wives… No shit, think about it... But you may say that the Democrat District Attorney of our County has a blond wife, but consider this, he is pro death penalty, he's against medical marijuana dispensaries, he is good friends with Lars Larson and was even married on Lars's boat... Now how can you do any of that and still call yourself a Democrat?  One simply cannot.

Another benefit will be the increase in tourism.  Nothing says tourist dollars like a good disaster.  What is one of the biggest draws to Clatsop County right now? That’s right; the ship wrecked Peter Iredale, a historic disaster.  What about New York…Ground Zero.  Tourists love disasters and the LNG crater would be an economic boom (pun intended) to our area for generations.

So all you progressives out there, you should learn to embrace the eventual coming of LNG.  If you presently live in the blast zone, now would be a good time to market your home to a conservative. Just post your listing on every church bulletin board in Warrenton and Hammond and you'll get that place sold for sure.  Remember, net floats hanging on your fence is a real draw.