Sunday, October 29, 2006

Animals Within


You know what would be interesting? What if humans were hairy like dogs or cats? We could come with all sorts of different coats and we wouldn’t need clothing, just like your pets. You could actually say things to your friends like “His/her wire hair drives me crazy!” and “What a coat!” or “He/she can shed in my bed anytime.

It’s a fun idea, isn’t it? This all sounds pretty cool until you are poolside one day and you see this guy with an ape-like hairy back. He turns around and the front is as hairy as the back. Suddenly this hairy human concept starts sounding bad. You know, I don’t have anywhere else to go with that topic, but I just figured I’d share it with you. Feel free to take it for a ride on your own. There’s lots to explore.

7 Comments:

Blogger Rich said...

If we were hairy enough to not require clothing, think of how much money we'd save, and how many sweatshops would go out of business.

Also, if we were all hairy and natural would we get familiar by sniffing each other?

3:21 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

The idea came about while petting a cat, and I wondered why human hair isn't quite that soft.

I'm sure there would be lots of problems such as dander, scurf, fleas, cooking accidents, being caught in the rain...

We kind of already sniff people. Get into an elevator with someone who smells nice or someone who stinks, and you will know that we really do sniff one another already.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Have you been smoking again?

7:04 PM  
Anonymous portosan said...

Sound's itchy.

Now that you mention it, I think I was on an elevator with you, Guy.

I do not sniff other people, but I have been known to pet.

8:54 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Syd, I wish! I guess I've had enough in my youth that I can re-enter that space at will. Maybe it was the crunchy crap at the bottom of my wine glass the other night.

I hope I didn't offend, and no portosan didn't pet me in the elevator. I didn't even know it was he.

9:23 PM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

And the sign said
Long haired freaky people
Need not apply
So I tucked my hair under my hat
And went in to ask him why

Now I'm screwed and this song will be bouncing around my head for the rest of the day...hope I didn't ruin yours. I can't seem to remember who wrote it...no Who didn't write it...who's pitching...no, who's on first. Ahem.

Guy - glad to see you are picking up Canuck mannerisms in hoping not to offend. Now hair is another matter as you will need an ample supply to fit in up here unless you plan on co habitating with second generation Vietnam era draft dodgers. You see, we need hair up here to keep warm and to make us appear bigger than we are to "stave" off invasion. Since we are on the subject, who is the cosmic joker that decided that as men grew older, the once abundant hair on top of your head suddenly moves and decides to grow elsewhere like on your back and out of your ears and nose. Makes you look like a fool when you are in the great outdoors and you have an overwhelming urge to blow snot into the wind. There is no dignified recovery from misfires and it is impossible to reload. Damn nose hair.
Not to go off topic but one of the great advances(and I'm quite certain Syd would agree) of the last decade is the appearance of the shaved muffin. Couldn't this have been discovered back in the seventies when it was more "hip" for women to quit shaving their underarms??? Another cosmic joke I guess - make the sex act a life threatening proposition and then spruce up the taco to make it more appetizing. Damn!

Now for your french lesson Porto and Guy. The translation for fart is pet which gives a whole new meaning to your elavator ride and the sniffing going on...and you are right...you just never know who petted in the elavator...who petted??? No, who's on first...no. he's pitching...Don't you just love this "stream of unconciousness" stuff? WTF??? Ahh, the pleasures of finding a twenty year old stash...

3:55 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Moosehead, I simply don't know where to begin to reply to your statements...so I just won't.

You are one funny dude.

5:46 AM  

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