Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Zen and the Art of Atheism

As an Atheist I have to admit there are some things I miss about acknowledging that there is some sort of monotheistic deity up there yanking my chain and threatening me with eternal suffering and damnation. It would it be cool to be convinced that not only is the earth flat, but that it has only been around for six-thousand years. I know those are way out there and far from main-stream theism, but there are other things they believe blindly without question like heaven and hell. That would make me feel like I were connected and a bigger part of the universe I suppose. That should feel pretty good.

The next problem I have is that I feel guilty when ever I say things like “God Damn”, “Jesus Christ”, “Jumping Jesus H Christ” or Jesus Tap Dancing Christ.” I love these phrases, yet since I will acknowledge a deity I feel like I have no right to speak that way…Damn!

I learned long ago to say, ‘May your gods bless you” when someone sneezes. I don’t know what sneezers believe so I like to cover all the bases out of politeness.

One thing I miss about going to church, (Catholic Church that is) is how every once in a while the congregation would say the same prayer out loud simultaneously. I’m sure they do this as well in other faiths, but I avoided being sucked into those other services.

The reason I miss this group prayer is because of Star Trek. I recall the first time I heard the Borg speak in their collective voice. The layering of the voices sounded just like a group prayer in church. Yes it is a sick parallel, but an uncanny one at that. You will be assimilated.


Blogger Mom of Three said...

Okay, you were inspired on this one. Not that your other posts aren't great, but this one really made me grin, which only one other thing does at this hour.

Which is not to say that a carefully-worded post from Guy produces as many endorphins as early-morning sex, but close.

7:36 AM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

Oh yeah, my dad always used to say, "Jumpin' Jehovah Witness!"

I love that, but Jesus Tap Dancing Christ is equally good.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Zoe said...

Well I much prefer 'Jesus fucking Christ' and God fucking damn it', but hey whatever works for you.

Oh, and I don't capitalize the 'A' in atheist. Since I don't believe there is or ever was a god, I don't see atheism as a religious belief, therefore not a proper noun. It has never made sense to me that atheists have to presuppose everyone elses beliefs.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous auntie said...

MO3 - what the hell are you doing up at this hour??? Is that really you, or SH pretending to be you?

8:04 AM  
Anonymous auntie said...

MO3 - please excuse my ignorance in the earlier response. Once you mentioned "early morning", I realized why you were awake. Got back to bed now!

8:05 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Mo3, now I'm breathing heavy ; ) Thanks. Are you really up this early or are you still up from last night?

Zoe, I capitalize it as I would if I were writing about any group, Rotarians, Anarchists, Bloggers... So to me it is the collection rather than the specific doctrine of the collection that makes it a proper noun. I do agree with the spirit of your reasoning.

L, don't be picking on Mo3. I'm sure she'd rather be sleeping. She's going to be cranky enough without poking her with a stick.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous walter richards said...

I think life's easier for Atheists than Believers (of whatever faith). Why? Because Atheists are only bound by their willingness to follow the laws of society. Whereas Believers are bound to follow the laws of their god(s) as well. And often the two sets of laws conflict. So Believers are supposed to make a choice when that happens.

Notice I said "supposed to" ... since most of them (in western civilization, anyway) just follow the easy path and abandon their religious beliefs to "get along". Thus exhibiting just how little they actually believe, in the first place.

I think the vast majority of Believers are of the "just in case" variety.

10:51 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

But then there are the believers who try to change the civil laws to comply with what they think their bible says. The battle lines on the issues of abortion and gay rights wastes so much money in this country. The only ones who are doing well over this topic are the charity organizations, the lawyers and lobbyists. The people are left bitter and defiant.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

99.99999999% of people that say that they believe in God, really do not.
I have proved that statement hundreds of times over the years.
The trick is to find the person during a quiet moment and get them to be honest. And then, it always ends the same; they do not.
And please don't respond with,"Oh, but I do!"
No you don't.
When no one is around, or looking, dig deep inside and see if you can muster the strength to be honest with yourself. Maybe while laying in bed in the dark.
I thought so.
In my entire life of 48 years, I have met maybe 4 or 5 people that seemed to be an honest believer.
The rest of them in answering the question, lie to themselves first, then to you.
Such a pity.
There are some Christian doctrines that hold that ONLY 144,000 people will make it to heaven. Period.
And from all of the ages, across the vast expanse of time.
That figure may be true. Or it at least jives with my ratio of true believers (in their heart of hearts) to the masses.
How's that for some tough love?

1:04 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

More injustice. God is not a union man... well neither am I

3:45 PM  
Anonymous walter richards said...

There are some Christian doctrines that hold that ONLY 144,000 people will make it to heaven. Period.

Revelations 7 marks 144,000 as being "sealed" ... but also marks them as being 12000 from each of the 12 tribes of Israel. So anyone saying ONLY 144k will be saved, is saying that - contrary to his own statements - Jesus wasn't bringing salvation to the Gentiles as well as Jews. They are also saying that, unless they are of Jewish descent, they themselves aren't getting into Heaven.

But I'll argue the point that I don't believe in God. I do, because I've experienced things that can't be explained otherwise. Do I still have doubts sometimes? Of course. If God could be proven or disproven, it wouldn't be faith.

6:42 PM  
Anonymous CB said...

Thank-you for my blog topic today, guy!

11:09 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I have a feeling I'm going to get spanked over at CB's blog today.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Amaya said...

For me, going to church was never about religion. It was about seeing my friends and feeling safe in an environment that is strictly repetitious. There was something comforting about knowing what to expect. It was with time, though, that I realized life isn't about that, it's about change and learning.

1:56 PM  

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