Tuesday, April 10, 2007


I have to wait 30 minutes. I can’t leave; I must stay here and wait. Think of all the useless waiting we do. We wait at traffic lights when it would be absolutely safe to go because there is no traffic coming in any direction, yet we wait for a colored light to tell us when to go. If we get caught going before the light says so we can be fined…so we wait.

We wait at the doctor’s office. Your appointment was for 2PM, it is now 2:45…you wait and continue to wait.

You are at the store and there are only a few check-out lanes open. You picked the one you thought would get you home soonest. You picked wrong. The second person ahead of you is attempting to consume every god damned thing on the planet and use their coupons for the discount. You wait and wait. At this point you have so much time invested in it that it would be unreasonable to abandon your cart and go home without the items you came to get.

Sometime people get impatient. I’ve seen it often in Airports. There is a fine line between being impatient, being an abusive asshole and getting arrested in an airport. Things can turn bad rather quickly.

I, by the way am still waiting with fifteen minutes to go. I am like a dog or cat that waits by the door with a strong desire to be on the other side. Yet I must wait…here and now.

If you are one of those people who constantly say, "I can't wait!" Sorry, you still have to wait. We all spend a lot of time waiting.

I try to pass this time by writing this article for the blog, but I’d rather not be here. I would gladly abandon this story right here and now if I could leave. I would just post it as it is with no closing comments.

However, I must wait. I’m bound by my honor to wait. I can do nothing else but wait. If I don’t wait something could go terribly wrong. If I stay nothing will go wrong. Nothing ever goes wrong while I’m here.

I’ve just about used up the half hour now. It’s true, I type slowly.


Blogger Beth said...

Okay, what the hell were you waiting for?
Or was it some kind of existential "wait?"
I'm waiting for an answer!

5:40 AM  
Blogger Jaggy said...

"Patience is a virtue," correct? I've had a long time to learn how difficult patience comes to me, but I'm glad I've learned that fact. In this 'here and now' society, sometimes 'things come to those who wait.'

yeah, are you going to share your secret, or shall we start guessing?

7:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take it from me that you, your health and those around you are much better off due to your philosphy on 'waiting.' Trust me. I have spent the better part of my life with someone known by many as "mr. impatient-head".

Impatience is a waste of energy and emotion that is best spent on something else. Just my opinion.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

All our agents are busy. Please continue to hold as your call is important to us. (Elevator music a la Kenny G) All our agents are busy. Please continue to hold as your call is important to us (MORE FUCKING KENNY G)All our.......

12:09 PM  
Blogger Amaya said...

It's the friggin watched pot too. Why does time stall when you're waiting? I'm going on vacation tomorrow and am trying to harness all my energy into forcefully moving the hands of the clock.

1:01 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

You'll have to wait even longer for where I was when I wrote that. Waiting is waiting no matter where it is done, unless of course you are Catholic and end up in Pergatory. That's where waiting really sucks.

Amaya, the trick is to go on vacation and start wishing for it to be over right away. Maybe that will make it last longer.

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Waiting is one of the most mind numbing things...it truly drives me insane!

I've learned to bring something to read with me where ever I go.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

I used to be a bad waiter, but I'm not anymore. There's always something to do. If you're in the checkout line, you can read free magazine articles! Or, if your baby is in the front of the cart, you can play silly games.

Doctor's office? More FREE magazine articles!

You'd hate my life. Every Tuesday from 3-5, I st at the kids' voice classes. I bring a book or my stitching. Same on Thursday, which is dance, from 4-5:30. I'm getting a lot of this one birdhouse stitched.

There's never what you would call "time to kill" at home. There's always something to do.

9:30 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

MOM Said:
>>There's never what you would call "time to kill" at home. There's always something to do.<<

Now you are talking my language.

Guy Smiley said:
>>...unless of course you are Catholic and end up in Pergatory. <<

Speaking of waiting; I have been waiting for decades for someone to point that out in the bible.
How about the smoke canisters that the Cardinal Clowns wave at the alter? The Pope, etc.....
I am waiting and waiting and waiting for the biblical explanation of this embarrasingly lame, unscriptural dogma.

10:06 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Waiting time can be good people watching time.

Mo3, I'm starting to see how you love that free stuff...don't you.

Gearhead, It's all the makings of a mystic club without the secret handshake, but then there are all the law suits, so something was being shook.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

I'm so cheap, it defies logic.

10:29 PM  

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