Thursday, October 11, 2007

Lipstick Justice

Women seem to be very vengeful toward the cars of people they don’t like. The only time I’ve ever heard of a car being keyed, it was a woman who did it. I just got an e-mail from a friend who will remain anonymous:

At lunch a woman in a BMW cut two of us off to steal a parking spot at the local grocery store. We both yelled, "BITCH!" at the same time but she was so busy yacking on her cell phone she didn't even notice. When I came out later, written very large across her windshield in what appeared to be lipstick was, "HANG UP AND DRIVE BITCH!" Now sharpie comes off with alcohol, but I'd imagine lipstick would be a real mess to get off. It was tempting to stay and watch her reaction but didn't want to get accused. I am seriously considering exchanging the large sharpie in my glove compartment for a cheap tube of lipstick. Sharpies don't work on wet glass.

I replied:

And lip stick in the rain...after the wipers get to it, it will look like a clown car. That happened to my mother once, a woman cut her off and took her space, and rushed into a store. My mother casually got out of her car and applied lipstick to the bottom of the woman’s door handle so when the woman returned and opened her door her fingers were gooed up with lipstick.

Man, you women sure fight dirty…I love it!


Blogger Beth said...

I fight dirty with words (writing, not speaking) but I'm liking that lipstick idea...

7:45 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

I don't even own lipstick, but I'm heading to the drug store to pick up a tube. Thanks, I have a place for all that road rage.

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh and it's halloween time, so black lipstick will be in abundance. wee! the darker it is, the more long-wearing it claims to be, the harder it is to remove once it's been smeared accidently across the cheek, by the way.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous walter richards said...

I've been told one of the first rules in warfare is ... don't piss off the women. Never doubted it.

In fact, I'll bet most of those "Tennessee Fueds" were kept going by the women, rather than the men. Men can usually "fight and forget it", women are the grudge holders.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Mike S said...

I agree! I've never met a woman that can't remember the slightest transgression decades later.

10:27 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I spent more than four hours with someone yesterday in Portland and I never once got slashed with lipstick.

5:46 AM  
Anonymous walter richards said...


I just got this picture of gangs of females terrorizing the public with threats of lipstick slashing.

12:35 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Just note the warning, Walt.

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The greatest act of revenge I was ever involved in took 4 women two hours, and lots of swearing but we got every last nut off his prize classic car except the lugs and there was no way to tell until he started it. We heard he made it half a block before things started falling off.

We did have to enlist a guy with the right tools to cut every nut in half before we mailed them back.

7:20 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

OK, I bet you wear lots of leather, don't you?

9:51 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

I LOVE this idea!!!! Gotta keep some lipstick in my glovebox pronto!!

11:13 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I bet the first time it happens around here the police will be asking me about my readers...I won't snitch.

5:47 AM  

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