This is usually the time of year when there is a big push to get new music out before the public for their holiday shopping pleasure. Music sales have been kind of flat over the past few years. Some blame the flat sales on illegal music downloads, however I think it is boredom that is tanking the industry.
There has been a release of two long awaited albums in the last month. Both are boring beyond words. First there is the new collaboration between Alison Krauss and Robert Plant. This collection puts forth a new definition of the word boring. Their voices are well matched, however just about all the songs suck...really badly. They are just about all lullabies. I can't stop yawning. OK, here's my song by song review of the album:
Rich Woman: No one doing anything exciting there. It's like a tune
Chris Isaak would do if he were playing at a retirement home.
King of the Blues: Blue Bayou with a pedal steel. Maybe a lullaby.
Sister Roseta Goes Before Us: Who let the Gypsies in the room? What
the Gypsies have banjos? Fuck we're all doomed!
Polly Come Here: A dirge? Oh my god, doesn't this song ever end? I
can't keep my eyes open.
Gone, Gone, Gone: He should have done this song with Olivia Newton
John in Grease.
Through the Morning, Through the Night: Oh fuck, now I want to kill
Please Read the Letter: Robert, god damn it put your teeth back in.
Trampled Rose: With this song I envision myself sitting wet in the
rain in the woods with a pistol contemplating ending it all. Fuck do
I hear gypsies again or is it Uhura from Star Trek doing a fan dance
in the distance trying to seduce an alien?
Fortune Teller: OK they are running out of ideas, they'll write about
anything. Cha Cha Cha.
Stick With Me Baby: She should have done this song with Aaron
Neville…on second thought no one should have done this song.
Nothin: Finally some sound… well that didn't last long.
Let Your Loss be Your Lesson: Finally a Lesbian song! Krauss would
make a pretty hot Lesbian, don't you think?
Your Long Journey: Where's Mother Maybell?
The other totally boring album is Joni Mitchell’s “Shine.” Totally boring! Why isn’t there anyone putting out music that one would want to listen to more than once. I want to hear a song for the first time and shout, “Damn, that was good!” and I want to keep hitting the replay button on the CD player. I want at least one song that is so good and unique that I want to make an entire CD of that song just so I can play it over and over again without needing to hit the replay button. No artists out seem to be giving me a reason to live these days.
So what and I listening to these days? Rufus Wainwright, but to make the CD that I'm listening to I had to pull songs off of five albums to make one good CD with 14 songs.
If the music industry wants us to start buying music again they have to give us something good to buy. Rat bastards...