It's Nearly Over
Yes, I'm using the picture that Port-O-San made for me last year. Wonder how he's doing these days.
I know many of you must be anticipating, with great fervor and hopeful joy, my normal vitriol Christmas diatribe. I’m sorry to disappoint, but I think I shot my wad last year. Sure I could go on about my displeasure of being held captive by this season, but I won’t even though as I write this I am in an airport being bombarded by all sorts of Christmas music interspersed with TSA announcements about presently being in threat level orange and what will happen to your unattended baggage if you are foolish enough to momentarily step away from it.
As I write I’m becoming more annoyed and reconsidering my positive attitude this year; Elvis is now on the sound system. Perhaps if I had head phones in my computer bag I could tune into something I don’t mind being put into my head. Some day I will learn.
I am not a great one for tuning things out; I’m too nosy. I have a hard time reading or writing if someone is talking or if a radio or TV are turned on near by. I have a hard time reading and writing if there are a lot people are around of if something is moving near by. Maybe I should get blinders, and download some white noise into itunes and wear noise canceling head phones.
Damn, I’m high maintenance…
posted by The Guy Who Writes This at 5:19 AM
11 Comments:
White noise should not be underrated, however, if you are deaf in one ear with refined selective hearing in the other, well, it's beautiful.
Guy,
I think you have Attention Deficit Disorder....
Love,
Anon
Guy - 'high maintenance' is not the way I would describe you.
Ah, you're not high maintenance. You just need peace and quiet to concentrate. Kind of hard to come by these days.
And I'm still hoping you write a Christmas diatribe. I need one.
Being hard of hearing is one of the blessings of age as far as I'm concerned.
As per the 5% of Maine being developed, that's not quite correct. The 5% is only 'unforested' areas. It is comprised of our populated parts, but also contains the thousands of lakes, ponds, & rivers plus natural meadows & heaths along with thousands of acres of 'wild blueberry barrens'. The populated or 'developed' areas include farms & their fields and thousands of vacation homes only accessible for about 1/2 the year. Any of several thousand islands with a house on them also fall into the 'developed' category, regardless of how much forested acreage on it. Very misleading statistic, as the places folks actually reside is probably much closer to 2.5-3% of the available area. Most rural homes here consist of 1-5 acre 'lots' with many being even larger:)
Lori, Works well for you, eh? You have kids, so it must.
Love Anon, I agree...what were you saying?
Auntie, I guess I'm just fussy. You can agree with that, I'm sure.
I should live in a library like Brautigan in The Abortion. I'd kinda like that. How about just a story about a Christmas experience?
Mike, it needs to be all or nothing for me. I don't want that in between crap.
I hear you Guy....must.have.my.peace.and.quiet!!! And as Beth said...it's getting harder and harder to come by these days.
Funny though I sleep every night, year round with a fan on...not for the cooling effect...but just for the white noise effect...but if a radio were on...no matter how quietly...there is no way I would ever sleep!
We are strange creatures eh?? Well, or maybe it's just me!!
Walking down an aisle of a grocery store, a lady with toddler in the driver's seat of a grocery cart approached and the little kid pointed his snotty finger at me in wonder and said questioningly "Pere Noel?". I like to think that it was because of the red L L Bean parka I was wearing. Bastard...little rat bastard!
Boo, I used to sleep with a radio on. I was one of those kids who always needed input, like the kids who can watch TV, listen to the radio, play a game, and all while writing a term paper.
Moosehead, LOL at you my friend. No, really that made me laugh out loud. I can see it. Well since December is your slow month, you could put a red nose on your Labrador and make a little extra cash for alcohol. I'm just sayin...
Overheard last year from Santa's workshop via George Carlin.
"Cookies and milk...mothefuckin' cookies and goddamn milk. Is that all you cocksuckers can think to give me? I bring you VCR's, video games, all kind of shit and you give me cookies and goddamn milk. Yeah... that's a fuckin' fair trade. Did ya ever think about a shooter, a few lines of blow or maybe a blow job? I ride around all fuckin' night with deer shit hitting me in the face, I'm overweight, I'm constipated and you shit heads give me cookies and motherfuckin' milk. Then I have to go back to the goddamn North Pole and stumble over fuckin' elves. Hey..you know why there's elves...cause I don't have kids...why? My wife won't fuck. I'm 300 years old, I've never been laid...and oh oh yeah...pardon me... here's something else you cocksuckers give me...it's letters. Three billion mother fuckin' letters. Merry goddamn Christmas, fuck you, I quit!
Getting a little cabin fever there Moosehead...Father XXXmas?
Post a Comment
<< Home