Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Lack of Suspence is Killing Me

I couldn’t stand it any longer. Yes, I’m a slow learner. It took me seventeen or so years to realize just how good and convenient Wellington boots are. I finally took another step towards clothing comfort. I finally got a pair of suspenders.

It was a combination of again realizing that I have no ass (See my article from 2006) to hold my pants up, and the fact that I spend entirely too much time hoisting my pants back up while I’m working.

It is such a pain to be working on something over your head and feel the tell-tale signal that your pants are going down. Drop everything, hike them up and begin again. It’s a pain to be clearing a trail with a tool belt with an extra chain and some wedges and a hammer. With a chainsaw in one hand and gas and oil containers in the other hand and pants wet from wicking the moisture off the salal as you pass. Pants drift downward with every step. You have to stop and drop everything, hike them up and begin again.

I didn’t go totally crazy by refitting my wardrobe with all new trousers with riveted in suspender buttons; though I am told that is the best way to go. I just got the clip-ons, which is probably frowned upon the way clip-on neck ties are frowned upon by those who know how to tie a Windsor knot.

The suspenders I bought are a twelve-dollar quick fix, though I may migrate over to professional suspenders one day. In the event you were wondering, they are green.


Blogger Beth said...

"Wellies" and suspenders. What a fashion statement you are.
Practical is definitely the way to go. (It's certainly my way.)
And many thanks for letting us know the suspenders are green.

4:43 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

I am one of those that would never wear a clip on tie nor clip on suspenders, it's just too much of a fashion faux pas.

5:17 AM  
Blogger weese said...

you are a looker. (or so your are in my minds eye)
I have recently purchased men's shorts - cargo shorts specifically, for working out in the yard. they have this wonderful pocket on the side which holds my shears perfectly. They were 12 bucks from walmart, and are better made than any womens shorts I have ever owned. Whats up with that.

5:47 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Guy in 'braces'. Now why didn't I think of that before. Seems like a natural pairing. Except for the green. I would have pictured the red, but not green.

6:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is just silly. Nobody ever watched Mr. "Green Suspenders" on TV when they were little! Be a Farmer. Get some green jeans.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

I think some Mork style rainbow suspenders would be pretty on you.

10:18 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth I'm getting ready for an eventual move to Canada.

Jeff, Yet you insist on a shave head and a goatee?

Weese, Wal*Mart? You are going to make me cry...

Auntie, I'm not a fire fighter. See one of my post on Saturday for a better explanation.

Come on, no one ever watched Mr. Greenjeans. Everyone knew it was on but no one ever watched it.

Syd, I may be an honorary lesbian, but I'm not gay.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Mike S said...

Dang Guy, add a flannel shirt and thin 'summer' wool pants & you could hide out here just fine. Until the 'skeeters' carried ya off anyway.(they can smell freshly imported blood)

4:16 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Mike, I've always enjoyed Maine. MAybe I'll return some day.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Mike S said...

Y'All's welcome at the inn any time. Might be a mite crowded, but it's a happy crowd:)

10:58 PM  

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