Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Why is it that men and women are so verbally different? Men seem content just to process things by thinking about them while women need to verbalize to process their feelings. Communication seems to the number 1 cause of relationship problems between the sexes and I’m sure that is the number 1 topic at marriage counseling sessions.

I’ve written about this before (August 2006), but at that time I was writing about my distrust of talkative men. The fact is that on average, women speak 24,000 words per day where men speak only 12,000 words per day. Women are constantly trying to coax their men into talking more, however men don’t ever seem to try to get their women to speak less.

It is totally unnatural for men to talk as much as women. Believe me women that if you ever do coax your man into being chatty you may be opening Pandora’s Box. You may never forgive yourself when you see what we have been thinking and what we have to say and most of all what we’ve been suppressing for all these years. It isn’t pretty. Just back off and no one will get hurt.


Blogger Beth said...

If men did start talking more, they might up their words to 24,000 per day and then we (women) would up ours to 48,000 while processing what we’ve (finally) heard.
Bring it on.

5:17 AM  
Blogger loopymamain06 said...

Sorry, guy, It seems to me if we let all the guys slow all the verbage down to where you want it to be ....the end of humanity will be close behind, eventually communication will be reduced to grunts, then how would we say "put the little silver metal thingy with the slots on the end of the long whatsit with the handle and turn your wrist while pushing the silver thingy into the wood' thereby not getting the childproof latches on the cupboard door, and the human race ceases to exist because we killed off our own children with poisons.

5:54 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Silent Bob is the best partner I could hope for. WAY more room for me to fill the voids with even more verbal outputs.

Sometimes I get the eyeroll when I have been running my pie-hole non-stop, okay -more than just sometimes, but he knows it's a as if my need to speak is a force of nature that cannot be stopped.


6:26 AM  
Blogger Uncle Walt said...

... however men don’t ever seem to try to get their women to speak less.Not true.

Men usually try once ... and only ONCE, if they're smart ... to try and tell a woman to speak less.


7:29 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

I try hard to be the silent type because I'm never sure what's going to come out of my mouth when I open it. I think there's a circuit breaker missing between my brain and my mouth. At least here I can edit and redact before I hit the "Send" button. Of course, that backfires on me occasionally. ie the "crusty" debacle. And I have cool guitar riffs to run through my mind while other people are talking. The wife hates it when I start playing air guitar while she is chattering away.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

Yes. I agree. But there are women who don't need to talk so much in a relationship too - me! I've been told more than once I have a man brain.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Ginger said...

When my hubby comes home from work, he needs about an hour to debrief himself from the awful of the world (he's seen more than his fair share of gruesom). He doesn't have a problem talking about what he thinks or how he feels, about anything..our communication, this includes LISTENING (and a sense of humor), is what has kept us together for almost 21 years. We work well as a team, although we don't always agree...but that's okay...we know where each other stands on any given subject.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

I'm calling B.S. on the entire premise.
"I don't talk because I'm a man" is a lame 50s dopey idea.
I lost one of my best friends a couple of years ago. This was a friend that really enjoyed good conversation. At his funeral the pastor alluded to his "liking to talk" and the crowd erupted into a quiet chuckle.
I wanted to spit in each and every one of their faces. Assholes!
Did they ever consider that he talked to them because he cared about them?
The feed store down the road has a guy in his early 30s or late 20s that wears that angry, fake tough, "I don't talk because I'm a man" look.
How weak.
And back up a minute here; Guy is the most prolific communicator (on the web) constantly talking all day at seminars!!!!???????
How can he of all people distrust people with communication skills.
Or is it just the close personal part that pains him?

11:58 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

I just re-read this post and wanted to spank Darev again publicly for calling me "Crusty".

Love, Auntie.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Zoe said...

It's probably some evolutionary behavior related to raising children.

2:08 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, No, not gonna do it.

Loopy, you certainly took that one for a drive.

Auntie, Silent Bob is the man!

Walt, sounds like you learned that one the hard way.

Darev, Silence is a discipline.

Lori, I bet your time in the military had something to do with it.

Ginger, I decompress in solitude.

Gearhead, lecturing and fielding questions isn't conversing. Conversing is when you and I rip Fritz a new a-hole.

Auntie, I was shocked he reopened that can of worms.

Zoe, probably the guys not wanting to rear children.

9:52 PM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

My mouth is my "cilise". It's an automatic can opener, at times.

6:41 AM  
Blogger dalia said...

my B can talk a LOT... he's fairly chatty by nature. by the same token, he goes into numbing silences that baffle the hell out of me, and he's never thinking anything, just sort of blinking, and chewing on his nails or clicking away at his mouse.


11:54 AM  
Blogger MissKris said...

I'm with Hahn. Having grown up in a house with very 'male' men/ dad and 3 brothers...I was very well-versed in the 'man' way of life. I dunno...I'm not a verbal woman when it comes to speaking tho you'd never know it by my wordiness on HERE!!! But I love being quiet and being immersed in quiet. Dear Hubby and I can spend hours reading together and listening to music as we do so and being the best of companions. Words? Who needs 'em?!

4:48 AM  

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