Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Kid Myths

There are certain myths that get passed down from generation to generation. These are kid myths, not adult myths. I know I’ve never perpetuated these myths and I can never figure out how they have survived as long as they have. Of the several I will focus on only a few for the purpose of keeping this short for those of us with equally short attention spans.

Have you ever heard the myth of what happens if you peal a golf ball apart? The myth is that the strands of rubber bands under the plastic shell are wrapped so tightly and even more tightly as you get near the center that they may explode when the outer pressure is lessened. To make it worse the core of every golf ball is an acid and when that gets on you, well you are a goner. And never throw a golf ball into a fire. The explosion has been known to level city blocks.

How about the myth that if you make a funny face your face may stick in that position forever? It was said that the old man that lived next to the school I attended, that happened to have his mouth stuck in a combo smile/grimace position didn’t heed this warning and he was a victim of this malady.

Finally for today, what about the myth of quick sand? This is a big concern among kids. Every time a kid encounters mud there is always the fear that they will be sucked into a murky abyss. To make it even worse there is the myth of slow sand which is equally inescapable as quick sand; however it takes much longer to suck you in making it a much more terrifying death. And there is a bottom of each quick sand pit. It is like a grain hopper filled with the bodies of generations of kids and their pets.

Do you have any kid myths that need some exposure?


Blogger Donna said...

My mom used to tell me, "Your face might freeze like that!" So perhaps mothers invented that one.

I learned about quicksand in the old Hopalong Cassidy and Roy Rogers comic books, and indeed, it worried me. I think perhaps there was some old movie that showed someone sinking into quicksand, and the last shot showed only his hat laying there.

6:53 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

My dad always told me if you played with your belly button enough, it would eventually unscrew and you butt would fall off. I suspect it happened.

7:02 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

Hey, check this out!


7:31 AM  
Anonymous Auntie said...

four words.....

Monster Under The Bed.

I know people that still don't dangle their legs off the edge of a bed and "hop" to get in.

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Old ladies who lived alone and wore black shoes were "witches"

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

darev - man, never heard of that one!

If you swallowed your gum or bit your fingernails and swallowed those, they would form balls in your stomach that would be there for the rest of your life unless you got them cut out. Grownups with big poochy stomachs had big balls of gum (or fingernails) in there.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I totally believe in the “step on a crack, break your mother’s back” warning. I have always avoided cracks – my mother’s back is fine. I neglected to emphasize the importance of this to my kids – and my back is paying the price. ;)

2:10 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Donna, cool link on your 2nd response and yous it was a mother thing, but the kids used it, too.

Darev, I lost mine, but I never played with my belly button.

Auntie, are you sleeping on the floor these days?

Anon, I remember all the old ladies wore back lace-up boots when I was a kid. I wonder what witches wear now?

Anon, I'm glad I never had either of those habits. I got my gut from cookies.

Beth, you're just lucky most kids don't walk anymore.

5:32 AM  
Blogger Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

You'll poke your eye out...

7:23 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Teri, it happens!

7:45 PM  

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