Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Cutting Room Floor


I suppose honesty often goes hand in hand with social ineptness. Maybe it’s the child like quality in us all that often makes us blurt things out that better judgment wouldn’t allow us to utter had we given a topic reasonable forethought.

I knew that traffic would be bad, and I promised someone a week before that I would meet them for coffee in town. It was a beautiful day so I rode my bicycle six or so miles into town knowing full well that traffic and parking would be nearly impossible.

The event was the Mighty Mo. The USS Missouri was visiting our fair city and it brought droves of people over the roads and bridges to Astoria. A bicycle was the only reasonable form of transportation if you needed to be anywhere on that day.

I was early, so I cycled around Smith point and I was easily able to get down to the port, where lines of people stood waiting to walk upon the teak decks of history. As I stood watching an historical event of all these people coming to Astoria, I found myself being scanned by a television news camera. A TV news reporter stepped beside me and asked one of those lame news questions like,” What do you think of the crowds coming to Astoria?”

I didn’t hesitate when I blurted out the answer. “It’s funny if you think of it, but every one of the people here will probably flush a toilet at least once during their stay. I’d hate to be at the sewer lagoon today.”

Needless to say, they had no follow-up questions for me after that. I watched the news that night and saw that I had ended up on the cutting room floor.

13 Comments:

Blogger Syd said...

Is there a Red Hat Society for men? I think you may be headed in that direction. ;)

9:57 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Syd, Asshole...LOL

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

Headed in that direction!! Hell, the Guy is one of the founding members Syd!!! It's what keeps us coming back for more. Where us can we get the cerebral artsy phartsy stuff of photographers on a bad acid trip and then get a follow up yuk yuk (yuck??) deleted blooper like this TV interview gone bad...really bad...

1:37 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Need I remind all of you that Moosehead is several years my senior. Don't let the sexy French lower half of his body fool you. I could explain that but I won't. Syd knows what I'm talking about...

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

Need I remind you Syd of what he just called you on this very thread...OOOOps...sudden illumination...here we are two guys...errr ...males, fighting... errr... sparring over the favors of an avowed, out of the closet, incorrigible gun toting lesbian. What is wrong with this picture??Why are the dangerously unattainable always so enticing.Pick me...Me ME Me! Not Guy...he'll just beat around the bush if you get my drift. Probably just want to watch! Besides, older guys do it slower and would you really want Birks under your bed???!

4:37 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Hey, Syd is like a sister to me and what you are suggesting is wrong, even in Mississippi. Syd is happily married (most of the time) and if she wanted a hairy Canadian in her life she'd get a Labrador Retriever.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

I got one, I got one!!!

5:05 PM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

roflmao Guy!!!

Anddddddddddd Moose....what's wrong with Birks under the bed???? LOL

5:41 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Oh my God! You fucking idiots! LOL. I don't even know where to start.

Guy, you are most assuredly a suitable surrogate brother, and I think of you as such. Moose, I don't what to think of you today. ;)

So, it seems prudent that I shove Barb (boo7) in the middle of you two and haul ass.

7:28 PM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

**blink, blink...deer caught in the headlight look....shaking my head wondering how DO I get myself into these situations??**

8:09 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I can't recall the last time I laughed so hard over a comment volley. Thanks to all the contributors... Y'all make it worth blogging at 5am every morning.

10:17 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Can you believe that they don't put a drain plug on differentials any more?
You have to pull the cover, and spill oil all over the place.
Good GAWDD!!!!

12:35 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

HAving it off was a good time to tap and plug it. I'm betting it wasn't one of the Fords.

5:29 AM  

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