Friday, October 06, 2006

What's Cookin?

Think of how often you are drawn into a conversation about the differenced between men and women. I’ve blogged about it before, I am But a Man, but I find it amazing how often the differences come to the surface.

Today we will explore the difference in terms of cooking. My wife is an excellent cook, while I am an average cook. She hates to cook, I don’t mind it and it’s better than eating raw food. Often I will cook something like Baked Ziti, (East Coasters living here are now salivating) and I’ll make enough for a couple days of left-overs and some more to freeze.

Generally when I cook I use a minimal amount of tools. Maybe a pot or two, a fork, a knife and perhaps a spatula. I’ve got it down to a science where everything I use will fit in the dish washer with room to spare.

Loading the dishwasher is always my job because I have mastered how to fit things in there for one load. Normal people would need three loads to accomplish the same task.

On days when my wife gets tired of my meal plan she will sequester herself in the kitchen. There is banging and clanking and motors running for hours, and when it finally get’s quiet it’s time to eat. However all that banging and clanking isn’t a good thing as far as I am concerned. This tells me that she is using every pot, pan and tool in the house.

The sink is piled high with mixer blades, bowls, various food processor parts, every sharp blade in the house. There are pots, pans, lids, cutting board all soaking in one sink. In the other sink there are bones, eggshells, vegetable parts, empty containers and all kinds of stuff that have nothing to do with the meal. (By the way I could not find a photograph that would do this topic any justice. They weren’t severe enough or if they were severe enough they had shitty looking sinks and faucets, and I wouldn’t want people to think that the photo was of my kitchen.)

When I cook I clean as I go, when she cooks she looks for things to dirty. Remember, All I need is a knife, a fork and a pot to cook most meals. When she cooks it will be a two dishwasher load night, and at least one trip to the compost pile, one to the recycling bins. The difference between our cooking styles is amazing.

After the left-overs from last nights meal are finished I’m going to buy a weeks worth of takeout from a Chinese restaurant so the only things that get soiled will be some bowls and chop sticks. When that finished I’ll get out a fork and a pot and start all over again.


Blogger Syd said...

I fall somewhere in the middle, but I do clean as I go.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Storminmotion said...

That is a messy kitchen?? It just looks familiar, doggy heaven for counter surfing.

7:53 AM  
Anonymous portosan said...


You are not alone guy. I take a little pride in how very few dishes are left in the sink when I cook. It is a part of the process to clean up as I go, almost making the meal taste better knowing I dont have a big mess in the kitchen.

On the other hand, when there was a female living here, it was just as you describe. With all of those dishes and the mess, it is no wonder she was pissed off all the time. Damn I do not miss cleaning up that kitchen. She cooked some wonderfull food how ever and that I miss.

I thought it was her style and a little frusterating but reading your blog today I wonder if it is inclusive to most women when preparing meals. Women work harder than they need to in my oppinion and I have to admit there was more work for me just being involved.

What is that????

sh%t, is it raining?

can it be true? oh, my. Tears of FU%king joy!!!!

What a relief. About time. Ahhhhhhhhh!

8:39 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Syd, I don't ever remember hearing from you this early...oh that's right, it's an article about food. You have your priorities ; ) Does K cook?

Storm, I've heard dog owners say that if you hava a couple dogs you don't need a dish washer. Needless to say I never visit for meals.

Port, it's about time. I moved here for the gloom and I suffer if we have five days without it, and here we've gone since June and only had trace amounts since then. Now what we need is a good wind storm where RVs topple over.

8:48 AM  
Anonymous portosan said...

Don't get me started. I am thinking tsunami! Serious, I have about had it.

9:27 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

We once owned a "divorce prize" house in Seaside. You can not believe the relief I felt when we finally sold it. Between it being very close to water and built on sand that will turn into quicksand if there is ever a quake. It was a nice house, but the relief of getting away from the geology was vast.

9:50 AM  
Blogger weese said...

I can relate to this.
When I cook, its meat, vegetable and a starchy thing. Basic, palatable, nutritiously adequate. The mess is minimal.
When my wife cooks. Its splendid; delicious, satisfying and very well presented… and every pot in the house was used to prepare it, including utensils I didn’t even know we had.
Ah, but after all this time – we find what works best is this: she cooks, and I clean as she goes. This way, when we sit down to eat the kitchen is already tidy. And the meal is superb.

10:23 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Weese, sounds like either a match made in heaven or good symbiosys (for those of us who don't believe in heaven).

I've already had two emails asking what Baked Ziti is. OK, here's how you make it:
Preheat oven to 350
Cook a pound or so of Italian sausage and a pound or so of ground beef. At the same time cook two boxes of noodles. It is hard to find ziti noodles here so I'll use Rigatoni. While all that stuff is cooking grate one of those 16 ounce balls of Mozerella. When both meets are cooked, combine them with a jar and a half of Tomato sauce, I use Prego Organic with mushroom.

Drain noodles and put into a baking pan. If you have something like a 9"X13" that should take it all, or you could maybe use 2 9"X9". Pour in the noodles, mix in the meet with sauce. If it looks too dry add more sauce. Top with the mozerella, and toss into the oven for 25-30 minutes until the cheese is golden with bits of brown.

This is East Coast comfort food.

10:42 AM  
Anonymous THartill said...


I think we all know what it is but the name through a curve. I call it meat pie. Although I use 80% elk meat and 20% ground beef instead of all ground beef, but all the other ingredients are the same.

As for the kitchen I was thinking about this just last night. When the GF cooks it looks like a tornado hit the kitchen and she always wants me to clean up because she cooked.....when I cook I use very little in the way of tools.


I have tried to do this many times, but there always seems to be issues when I am in the kitchen if she is cooking, so I have given up on that.

11:27 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

By definition "pie" would always have a pastry crust, where this has a melted cheese top crust. Regardless, it is cool because you can customize the dish to your own taste. Elk, pork, beef, doesn't matter. It's all good.

Isn't it funny that guys have to have all sorts of tools in their shop, but we can get away with just a fork in the kitchen.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Rich said...

I'm wondering how you came to use "specula" as cooking tools:
"An instrument for dilating the opening of a body cavity for medical examination." Did you get them from your wife's gynecologist? ;-)

6:09 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Oops, spatula. Using a specula would explain why some dishes don't taste so good...

5:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, yeah, I wanted to say something about that, but I just didn't know if you'd still want to be my friend.
Okay! Back to trying to sleep!!!

7:19 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Mel, you don't get away that easy. It's like a mob thing, once you're in you're in. Next you may become "made." A made member can't get whacked for any reason. (You can tell where I grew up, can't you). Also the readers of this blog take special pride in nailing me to the wall when I screw up. I save my tears for Sundays when I don't post.

7:36 AM  

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