Saturday, November 04, 2006

Let's Rest Here for a Moment and Catch Our Breath

Maybe you are rather new to this blog and you don’t have time to read all the crap I write and have stored in my archives. Articles have been flowing in nearly every day since May. To help you feel like you have any working knowledge of this blog I will try to get you caught up with some of the language, definitions, history and rules here. OK, let’s go!

Birks are Birkenstocks, which I wear when I’m not wearing muck boots. I can’t tie a knot to save my life. I don’t have an ass, it’s flat like an old white man ass. Don’t ever ask me to say grace. Don’t ever invite me to a pot luck. Sick days are not days where I stay home and vomit. These are days, usually once per month when I sound off about things that make me sick, or piss me off. Clatsop County is known as Dried Salmon County here. Anything with “Clatsop” in its name gets changed to “Dried Salmon.”

I never used to post on Sundays unless I was really pissed off by someone or something. My stats show that I have more visitors on Sunday than Saturday, so I try not to disappoint people who surf over on the weekends. Sunday is also a day of Contrition when I post my errs and apologies for the preceding week. If I have nothing to confess you get to read a regular article.

Do not like Warrenton, Cannon Beach or Gearhart. I don’t like Seaside either, but I do respect it. I feel sorry for Hammond. I am indifferent about Jewell. I like Astoria, and Brownsmead, and I don’t know how I feel about Knappa/Svenson…my opinion on them changes daily.

I don’t like garbage, waste and plastic and I vigorously promote recycling. I am very into natural agriculture and knowing from where my food comes. I dislike most of Corporate America, and Lars Larson. I don’t like clothing that advertises products. I can’t stand dogs at the Sunday Market. I love music and art, but am very critical of musicians and artists. The Untied Way is evil.

I love the County and State Fair. I hate telephones and love cup cakes. I love BLTs and trains. I am nostalgic, but I don’t fear the future. I can’t stand harmonicas, and at times I have a dirty mouth. I most definitely have a vulgar mind. My eye sight is going and I hate the diamond industry. Use of the phrase, "Rat Bastards!" must be immediately followed with the prases, "Dirty Rat Bastards!", "All of them!"

As for those who comment on the blog:
I do not normally delete comments. I have deleted a few unintentionally. I did delete a comment by Gearhead once, and now he deletes his own inflammatory comments before he posts them, but blames me, your humble narrator and blog administrator, by including "my" deletion text in his message. Believe it or not, Gearhead is a very dear friend and devils advocate. He really isn’t an asshole in real life. We are in the same type of agricultural business and he is highly respected expert and leader in his field.

Thartill has a local political blogNorth Coast Oregon A lot of it is way over my head due to my short political attention span, along with my bouts of lethargic apathy over the things that lead up to a vote. I have to give him credit for not being a douche bag like most political blog hosts. Yes he has passion, yet he isn't a douche bag, go figure...

Moosehead and Boo7 are Canadians. Please be gentle with Boo7, she’s a sweet heart, but feel free to mess with Moosehead; he has a French lower half. I’m not going to explain that one. You’ll have to ask him. Most people who reply have very interesting blogs of their own, so please check them out. Carrie and Mel come to mind as two very talented Oregon bloggers. Then there are all the kids up in Seattle. Dang, I will get to all of you in the future.

Blog Rules:
1. If you call me an asshole you have to type LOL right after the word.
2. No one gets to pick on Syd, ever. If you want to do that you have to do it at her blog, but be prepared to have 30 people kick your ass all over the internet. You will be left sitting in your house with the lights off like a Jehovah’s Witness on Halloween.

OK, you're pretty much caught up now, so let's move ahead.


Blogger Donna said...

Wow, that's a lot of stuff for an old lady to remember. Maybe I ought to just put the link to this particular entry in favorites. Of course, the Oregon stuff is out of my realm of knowledge anyhow. I thought all men had vulgar minds.

8:00 AM  
Anonymous THartill said...

Thartill has a local political blog.....he isn't a douche bag

I don't know what to say!

This might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Patrick McGee said...

Me personally, I would rather be looked at as a "Rabble Rouser" with a penchant for personal hygene.

10:02 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Patrick, this wasn't a back handed attempt at calling you a douchebag. If you read my forum you'll see that I just found out today that Clatsop Matters wasn't your forum, yep, I'm a dope. I wasn't calling Clatsop Matters a douche bag either. I began my post there thanking the board holder for allowing me to post freely. My intent of placing the name "douche bag" was more aimed at Jack Bogdanski and Lars and that political ilk.

Tryan, if anyone calls you a douche bag you can come back to this article to prove you are not...that is unless you become one.

Donna, I know, so much to remember, but I'm always available by e-mail in the event you need a deeper explaination or a refresher.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Help! Somebody HELP!!!!
My views an opinions are being held hostage by Guy the @$$ ho

Comment Deleted
This post has been removed by the blog administrator

10:16 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Sorry, I forgot to add:

10:18 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

See that's what I'm talking about...LOL

Gearhead, check you postal mail today. I mailed your thing for Kenny yesterday.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwww Guy....thanks for the sweet mention on your blog!! And thanks for adding some details (about yourself) to the face and blog name.....:)

Again you're too kind!!

And hear that everyone??? Be gentle with me....I'm still recovering from being thrown between Moosehead and Guy the other day thanks to our friend Syd....**wink, wink**

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot one... "Guy is a sweetheart."
Followed by only, "Yup," "I agree," "Hear, hear," or other words of agreement.
Thanks for the kind words. Denise will be delighted; she has a great big ol' black rottie/lab mix who is forbidden to enter the Sunday Market (her rule). See, she was playing along at home without even realizing it!
(Posted an "I'm away" post for her yesterday evening.)

1:33 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Yep, I saw that, Mel. So you have her password, eh? We could have some serious fun at her expense.

Barb, that is not my photo. That is Les Krims. Email me and I'll send you one of me.

I know this is inviting trouble, but I haven't heard from Mooseheas since Syd and I bitch slapped him last week. That was so much fun...I can't begin to tell you.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

Bitch slapped? Bitch slapped?? WTF??? Guy - you know you can always count on me to comment on the down and dirties and when there is nothing to say, I will step up and say it. I mean, what can I say about Tillamook, or politics or Les that hasn't been said already.
Now, for the nothing to say part. Boo...recovering from being stuck between me and Guy. I still haven't recovered from the tuque and mukluks outfit idea much to the consternation of my better half. I'm being frustrated at every turn - the rules say I can't even pick on Syd anymore and I can't call Guy an asshole unless I use letters I can't bring myself to type as a matter of principle. I'll bend the rules for WTF but just can't know...
Now may want to reconsider asking for a photo of a flat assed white man who really can't dance without breaking some local ordinance. I beleive it has been said that he has been arrested just for tapping his feet to the music. Get a picture of his horse instead and leave the rest to imagination - think Malboro Man...think harder...You're in sheep country now where men are men and the animals live in fear of losing their virtue. Muck of the trade!
I have much more not to say but I think I may hear the sound of mukluks being slipped into. Duty calls and I must heed. I'll wear the tuque tonight...Now MUSH!!

4:44 PM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

Totally awesome picture the "feel" of it and the contrasting of colours...and well, rainbows are a favourite of mine!! Did you take the picture??

hehehe I like that....."Dirty Rat Bastards! Dirty Rat Bastards!, All of them!".

I think I will wait a bit and if my curiosity gets the better of me....which it often does (much to my chagrin sometimes!)....then I might get brave enough to inquire further about Moosehead's French lower half!!! I fear it might be way, way too much information for offense Moosehead...but I don't know you well enough!!! **grin** In the mean time...suffice it to say that I enjoy reading your comments Moosehead!!

Thanks for the synopsis of your blog Guy!!

7:39 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

No, I borrow all photos used here from, and yes I return them when I'm finished with them. ; )

That is a photo of the Astoria Megler Bridge. It crosses the Columbia River in Astoria.

Moosehead with a lack of words? Is that tuque on too tight?

7:51 PM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

...tuque on too tight or mukluks on the wrong feet....or he's been consumed by a snow drift!

9:22 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Oh Guy, I adore you for being overprotective of me. But, you really have to let Moose pick on me. How else can feel free to prod him on occasion?

Great post, btw.

5:25 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

He may still, just not here. I want to see folks like Sassy, Kris, Zoe, Trop and OCB rip him a new one. BTW you may prod him any time you wish.

Boo, you've changed to a tropical seting.

5:50 AM  
Anonymous Mooseheadtwo said...

Oh sure...declare open season on Moose. Poor fella - he's such a lovable huggable scratch em behind the ears prod em kind of character.
Kinda reminds me of the moose hunting pair who decided to dress up in a female moose costume to attract a male. A few moose calls later, the male shows up and the plan was for the guy in the rear to unzip the costume and to shoot. Problem was the zipper got stuck and he asks his buddy up front what to do. The buddy says "I'm going to chew some grass and if I were you, I would brace up". Is there a moral to this story?? Hmmmm...Prod away!!!

2:49 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Come on Moose, you can take it.

I know what business you are in and I know you can take a poke.

9:53 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I went back and read a lot of Patrick's historical posts at

He just may be a douche bag after all...

7:59 AM  
Blogger Amaya said...

Nice update. For a second there I was convinced that this was my husband's blog:
"I don’t like clothing that advertises products."

1:12 PM  

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