Thursday, November 02, 2006

What Really Counts in Politics



Pollsters can do and say what they wish. They can try to predict who will win and who will lose elections with scientific methods that boast their stats are plus or minus 3 percentage points of total accuracy. They try to screen certain demographics, and base it all as scientific evidence. What science are they using; Mathematical or Political science? Candidates pay a lot for poll results. They think they can tailor their campaigns to adjust their numbers come Election Day.

OK politicians, I’m about to save you a lot of polling money on your next election. When you want to know who will win the election get a good photo of the candidate you are running against, and hold it up next to your face in the mirror. Who is better looking? That’s who wins.

Only a few of your supporters care about your issues, they only care about who looks better. OK, take Kevin Manix against Ron Saxton. Manix looks like a dweeb, like Regis Philbin. Face Saxton against Kulongowski, and Saxtons beady eyes and the fact he doesn’t open his crooked mouth makes him look like a bully, so I predict Ted, the better looking well dressed little man will win.

You don’t believe me? Let’s look at some recent history: Kennedy vs. Goldwater; Gerald Ford vs. Jimmy Carter; Bush vs. Kerry. By all rights Gore won against Bush. Yes, I’m aware that Nixon doesn’t follow the mold, but maybe if McGovern had more hair, who knows?

OK what about Clinton vs. Bush senior? Both are relatively good looking men, so what was the deciding factor there? Barbara Bush looked like George Washington with boobs. Hillary’s better looks pushed Bill Clinton over the top.

Yes, my friends; as sad as it may be, it’s all about good looks. We are that shallow.

11 Comments:

Anonymous THArtill said...

I didn't realize people came to your blog to look for ways to make money!

Anyway, your theory has some merit, one big exception was the Repub Gov. Primary.

The better looking and better person was soundly defeated.

I may have finally voted for a Repub Gov this election, but there is no chance I will vote for Saxton, what a piece of filth.

4:01 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Yes, that's spam bot. I've deleted that message four times today. I may have to return to verrification codes for a couple weeks. Bastards, Rat Bastards, all of them.

You thought Manix was better looking than Saxton? Manix looks Dweeby and churchy to me. Saxton looks like he could belly up to the bar and set his farts on fire.

Hey, I hear you are now a write in candidate for mayor. Let me know if that works out for you. Hehehe...

4:26 PM  
Anonymous THartill said...

Jason Atkinson.

If I am a write-in Candidate, I think everyone is.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

So it's all about looks, huh?
AAAAAAAAAA-HA!
I always knew that you had a thing for Barbra Roberts.
:-Q

9:21 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

Hey! Are you watching the HBO vote-tampering special??? Methinks the ugly guy will win if he's got Deibold in his back pocket!

9:51 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

p.s. Only spammers are worse...

9:52 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I met Barbara Roberts last year, she is a lovely woman.

Shoot I hope it is on again, I missed it. But I have been watching the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

And those bots are spammers.

5:35 AM  
Blogger RobbKidd said...

Politics change dramatically with color TV. In the famed Nixon-Kennedy debate, JFK spent a few days in Miami getting a sun tan to make himself look better. As for looks there have been stats from women voters who have deffinetly chosen a candidate based on their looks. Well we now have Katie Couric doing the evening news, looks and sex sell...

7:41 AM  
Blogger Amaya said...

If your theory is true and Hilary DOES run in '08, do you think she'll win?

2:26 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

It depends upon who she runs against.

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cute is as cute does.

7:27 PM  

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