The Old Guys

How many times have you heard someone say, “I attract all the nuts!” or “Why are all the crazy people attracted to me?”

I find that everyone attracts one type of person or another. What sort of people do you attract? I think I’ve found my “attractees” (Yes, I made up that word). I can be sitting somewhere with a waiting room full of empty seats and as soon as an old man walks into the room he’s got to sit next to me to tell me his life story, never fail. It has happened time and time again.

Last week I got to hear the story of this one old man’s son who worked his way up the corporate ladder of the Kotex Company. He said loudly, “YOU KNOW KOTEX? THEY MAKE THE PADS FOR WHEN WOMEN ARE BLEEDING. THEY STICK THEM…”
I cut him off “Yes, I know of the company, you must be very proud of him…” It went on and on, and it always seems to go on and on.

I have heard more stories about World War II and prostate surgery than anyone I know. There seems to be no topic these old guys won’t touch, which makes me wonder if being talkative extends one’s life. Rarely have I ever seen an old man who is quiet. This spells an early demise for your’s truly. Though I do write a lot I’m not big on talking, especially to strangers.

I’ve come to accept this attraction to the point that I no longer bring a book with me when I know I’ll be spending time in a waiting room. I am actually happy to be able to facilitate these old guys exercising their synapses and recalling times when they were young and strong and everything was pure and good. I wish I could speak with my father again. Boy was he ever a talker...