Monday, November 20, 2006

The Old Guys

How many times have you heard someone say, “I attract all the nuts!” or “Why are all the crazy people attracted to me?”

I find that everyone attracts one type of person or another. What sort of people do you attract? I think I’ve found my “attractees” (Yes, I made up that word). I can be sitting somewhere with a waiting room full of empty seats and as soon as an old man walks into the room he’s got to sit next to me to tell me his life story, never fail. It has happened time and time again.

Last week I got to hear the story of this one old man’s son who worked his way up the corporate ladder of the Kotex Company. He said loudly, “YOU KNOW KOTEX? THEY MAKE THE PADS FOR WHEN WOMEN ARE BLEEDING. THEY STICK THEM…”
I cut him off “Yes, I know of the company, you must be very proud of him…” It went on and on, and it always seems to go on and on.

I have heard more stories about World War II and prostate surgery than anyone I know. There seems to be no topic these old guys won’t touch, which makes me wonder if being talkative extends one’s life. Rarely have I ever seen an old man who is quiet. This spells an early demise for your’s truly. Though I do write a lot I’m not big on talking, especially to strangers.

I’ve come to accept this attraction to the point that I no longer bring a book with me when I know I’ll be spending time in a waiting room. I am actually happy to be able to facilitate these old guys exercising their synapses and recalling times when they were young and strong and everything was pure and good. I wish I could speak with my father again. Boy was he ever a talker...


Blogger Boo7 said...

awwwww what an awesome story Guy!! I think that is very sweet and must speak to your laid-back approachability which is an awesome trait to have in my opinion. I especially like how you have adapted by not brining a book with you when you know you might have a wait.....:)

11:11 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

The same is true for old ladies. They come into the store I work in and talk about the "old country" and how things used to be. I think there maybe something to your theory about talking extending ones life but I also wonder if these people were always talkers or if they developed this tendency as they aged. I try to be polite and listen with a smile and a nod but I am not much of a talker myself so I don't make a very good audience...I also tend to have a short attent

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sadly, I had to perfect the "don't bug me" face for my adventures in public transit, because I attracted everybody. Age, gender, height, weight, mental status, all varied, but without fail I found myself acting as somebody's confidante at the bus stop every time I went anywhere. It got to the point where I felt like I was carrying the weight of all these confidences on my shoulders, and so I developed a somewhat forbidding, closed expression to avert these little chats.
I don't miss it. Maybe in another five or six years I might, but for now it's peace, blessed, blessed peace...

2:04 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

I worked with and interesting OLD OLD Croation fellow that was forever touting the superior ways this were done in the old country.
With a majorly broken accent:
"Back in the old country stupid women kept their mouth shut and...." etc......
Finally he arrranged a trip, having not been there since he fled in the 50s and awaited the day with much excitement and anticipation.
Apparently, there was a rude awakining on the other end because he didn't want to talk much about what he saw when he returned.
We never had to endure the lectures about that heavenly place that he had called "The Old Country " ever again.

2:13 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Boo, It has little to do with being nice, I just resigned to the futility of it all.

Trish, you're Canadian, I just can't see you being short with anyone, and I loved your short attent...

Mel, how exactly do you fake deafness on mass transit?

Gearhead, tell me about it... Also think back on all the times you set me up with a conversation with your uncle and walked away grinning. Rat Bastard!

3:23 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...


5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worked in a retirement facility to put myself through college. I loved that job, and I miss the people. Old people are just... cool. :) Great post, thanks for making me remember.

7:18 AM  

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