Thursday, January 25, 2007

Find a Penny, Pick it Up...

Continuing with the readers request. Lelo wanted me to write about my coming of age.

Maybe it was the times, maybe it was me, but I was a late starter. That is if one considers 17 as late.

OK, it all started when I was working in a library for a summer job. It was only the librarian and me working side by side for the most part. She was from Paris and I wanted to get more experience speaking French so I would do better in my college French class that I was signed up for in the fall. We made a pact to only speak French to one another unless we had to speak with a visitor who came in to use the library.

Day in and day out we spent our time in conversation, getting to know one another, our likes and dislikes. By July there were discussions about relationships and soon it was obvious that there was some sexual tension between us.

It is now that I need to mention that as stated above I was 17 and I now need to admit that she was 34. I was overly pleased with the direction this was taking…

As August approached, I told her that I’d like to get away and go camping some weekend before school started. She had never been camping and sounded interested in it, so I coaxed her into joining me. I told her all about the camp fire and swimming in the river by moonlight. Of course I never mentioned the rattle snakes, copperheads, deer ticks, mosquitoes, digging latrines and the possible lightening storms.

Things were going rather well. I convinced her to join me for a swim in the river. It was dark and soon she got used to the idea that if she removed her clothing I would barely be able to see anything as the only light was that of a half moon filtering through the leaves of the trees. It was a lot of fun.

We returned to the tent draped in our towels. We were at this time becoming very relaxed and very familiar with one another. We became more familiar by the minute. One thing lead to another and soon it became very passionate.

Now, you must keep in mind that all this time, as well as all summer long, we only spoke French to one another. Absolutely no English at all was spoken until in the heat of passion when she said to me, in English, “I want your pennies, I want your pennies.” I thought what the fuck does she want with pennies? Is this some weird French sex trick thing or is she trying to be some sort of really inexpensive prostitute or something? I reached for my pants and went through my pockets for my change. I wasn’t going to argue. I was going in for the first time. If she wanted my pennies, she was going to get them. I told her that I only had a couple pennies and asked her why she wanted them.

Frustrated, she then told me what she wanted in French. I then realized that when spoken in English with a French accent what she desired sounded a lot like "pennies."


Blogger Beth said...

Oh, God - is this a true story? You were digging for "pennies" in a moment of passion? What a visual.
Any well placed mosquito bites before, during or after?
True or not, I'm laughing.
Thanks for sharing.

6:41 AM  
Blogger LeLo in NoPo said...

This is the sweetest story ever. Kudos to you for taking the challenge, and kudos for such a great story. I don't know if I'll ever look at pennies the same....

7:15 AM  
Blogger lori hahn said...

If that had happened today, she'd have been sent to jail. You are a lucky man to come of age when you did.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Thankfully she didn't ask for dimes or quarters.
Too many stories already about gold diggers....

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

Got a good chuckle out of me on that one Guy! Priceless. It is so hard to beat that I may have to adopt it as my own cumming of age story. I know, I know, plagiarism is worse than masturbation.

9:27 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, it is totally true. Sometime when I write I will change a name like I did with the Leary story last week, but I only write about things that really happened.

Lelo, I am a man of my word...your turn ; )

Lori, so true. If I were a kid today and a hot teacher made a pass at me, I'd keep my mouth shut. What is wrong with kids ratting on this great experience of coming of age with an older woman?

Are you kidding Gearhead? My brain was about to explode. I would have given her the keys to the Torino.

Feel free Moosehead. I see how it could appeal to you with the French angle. By the way, I do not remember how to speak French at all these days. After first year French in college I never spoke it again and now have totally lost all that I once knew.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You warned me, but I went ahead and read this while the boss was next door. Now she wants to know what I am laughing so hard about!!

J from down the hall

10:00 AM  
Anonymous THartill said...

You sure she didn't say "I want your roll of pennies"?

If this was the case at least she didn't say I want your roll of dimes like some refer to my......oh nevermind....

11:26 AM  
Blogger Zoe said...

What a great story, I love it. I wish my coming of age story was nearly as interesting.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a funny story! Except that I have a 17 year-old, the visual alone...**cringe**

But I could so imagine him getting all flustered.

11:56 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

There is a line in the Ren and Stimpy song, "Happy Happy Joy Joy", where they said, "I told you I was going to shoot, why didn't you believe me?"
Well J maybe you NOW will listen when I issue fair warning.

Tryan, yep, old age and cold water... but when you are 17. Nice to have you back. Haven't heard from you in a while. Thought maybe you were pissed off at me for some reason.

Zoe, I'm sure you can find something funny in your experience. First times are usually funny if both people are willing participants.

11:58 AM  
Anonymous THartill said...

Not pissed at all.
Although I admit I was a little "disappointed" that no one invited me to the blogger convention. Originally Wende and I were going to organize one and we couldn't come up with a date that would work and eventually it got lost in the shuffle....

As for my lack of posting, I was in Vegas for almost a week, then I switched to HighSpeed internet and that took a while and I just got it back up at 5pm yesterday.
Fact is I just have not been on the internet much lately as you can tell from my lack of activity on my own site.
Keep writing the good stuff...and maybe you should have reader week every week, these seem to be some of your best ones yet.

12:48 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Trish, let him go, he needs to live his life, and if it is with a woman of experience...Right On!

Tryan, I think that CB is thinking of organizing another get together. She mentioned it a couple weeks ago. She arrived at the last one but didn't recognize any of us so she left thinking that we didn't show.

12:56 PM  
Anonymous THartill said...

I think that CB is thinking of organizing another get together. She mentioned it a couple weeks ago. She arrived at the last one but didn't recognize any of us so she left thinking that we didn't show.

Sounds good....I like all the acro's...NCO, CB, CCM and I would write TGWWT but it's a little clunky.

I'm surprised that Carrie didn't know who Wende was....she had a photo on her site for a long while.

2:06 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

A-R or Guy would do. CB had her grand son with her and expected to see Mo3 with three kids in tow, but Mo3 was late in arriving.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Rich said...

Great story, Guy. Reminded me of a joke of which all I remember is the punch line: "Fo' a nickel I will."

6:25 PM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

Great, great story Guy....but I had to laugh...aside from the story being funny that is...the title.....just this past weekend when I was visiting my mom up in Ottawa...she picked up a penny and said that line...find a penny, pick it up and all day you'll have good luck....and she commented that it just be true as she felt lucky to have both her daughters visiting her at the same time....she had such a sweet lil smile on her was just one of those cute, genuine moments. I won't be looking at pennies in the same way at all!!

6:46 PM  
Blogger Syd said...


Except for... hahahahahahaha

7:12 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Rich, or the Robo Cop line, "I'll buy that for a dollar!"

Boo, maybe you shouldn't send this article to you mom. Funny thing is I still pick up pennies when I find them.

Syd? Speechless? Thanks Darlin!

5:53 AM  
Anonymous Auntie L said...

You know, pennies are worth a nickel now.

6:22 AM  
Blogger WenWhit said...

Kind of you to tell the tale of your first piece of tail, Guy. And in such a funny way LOL

8:40 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Kind of puts a new spin on the phrase "a penny for your thoughts".

9:00 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Auntie L, and even more so if you have a drill press and need a washer, or if you have to weld something and you don't have a welding rod.

Wen, thanks for stopping by. It's an honor and I read your blog every day, BTW. You know, I could have named the article "Heads or Tails?"

Jeff, pennies from heaven, too. Eeew!

9:44 AM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

OMG. I am laughing so hard! I almost woke the baby!!!!!

That is a very cool story. What a wonderful memory.

I try to live life with the idea that I want to be that old lady in the home who is smiling, but not because she's just wet her pants. It's memories like this that'll put a smile on your face late in life.

Was her last name "Loterneau" by any chance?

That's French.

6:45 PM  
Blogger CB said...

Tryan, for god's sake, I have to look at old photos to remember what you look like how am I to remember a face from a blog pic of someone I've never met? I am OOOOLLLLDDD! Eyesight failing, mind wandering, slight drool. HAHAHA! Shutup!

Good story, Guy. I do not think a seventeen year old, even in this day, can prosecute when it is willingly, even if s/he told someone.

Yes, lets get this get together done! Blue Scorcher, Sunday FEB 4, 2 o'clock?

7:38 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Mo3, careful, little man needs his sleep.

I'm so happy to have entertained so many with this post. Now, will I ever be able to show my face in public again? OK, Feb 4. What the hell!

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Melly53 said...

My husband came of age with an older German woman, when he lived abroad.:)

I silently thank her as often as possible.

9:57 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Those European women are something. I still smile when I think of it.

9:09 PM  

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