Tuesday, March 13, 2007


It is said that elephants can hear with their feet. They can hear the rumblings of other elephants and vocalizations miles away through their feet. They can hear frequencies with their feet that are much lower than that which can be heard with ears.

Somewhere in Africa and India and Asia and all the zoos in the world there are elephants listening to me right now. I got this ass kicking cold this weekend and my voice is now deep. It is deeper than Leonard Cohen, and Bea Arthur’s voices. It is way down there. The coffee in my cup dances in circles like it did in The China Syndrome and Jurassic Park every time I speak.

I find it fun to say things like, “Oh baby!” Anybody remember Froggy from the Our Gang Comedy?


Anonymous Auntie L said...

Yes, I do remember Froggy.

However, I was always more of a Buckwheat fan myself though.

Get better!

5:59 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Sorry you feel like crap. I find the deep, low voices that accompany colds to be particulary appealing. (Sexy?)

6:48 AM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

ohhhhhhhhhh baby!! Love those deep, throaty voices!!!

Ohhhh sorry...got carried away....*ahem*....what I meant to say was....sorry you are feeling like cwap my friend....hope you feel better vewwy vewwy soon!! A hot toddy might help...and they taste damn fine!!!

7:20 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

OK, I'll send out my best Barry White , "Oh Baby" out to all you ladies in the audience. Cough, cough, cough...

7:44 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Now I know I'm not going organic.....

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

And did you also know that elephants are the only animal with four knees. There...I'm glad that I got that one out of my mind. Frees up another memory cell.
Should have popped that extra strength echinacea when you first felt the tickle Guy. I usually attribute getting a cold to sleeping with your ass hanging out from under the covers, but since you have no ass, your sheep shaggers must be leaking...or maybe the Birks came out at the first sign of spring. At least it's not the bird flu - I'd hate to have a sneezing bird.

2:40 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Oddly, and I've never pubically admitted this but I'm a bit germophobic. I don't associate with many people, I don't use hand rails. I never touch a bathroom door with my bare hand. The only thing I did last week that was totally out of character was I filled a cup with water from a drinking fountain.

BTW Moosehead, the latest research is that euchinacea doesn't work at all and neither does St. John's Wort.

2:52 PM  
Blogger lori hahn said...

This year, I got three paintings I was quite taken with. They were all painted by old female elephants. They painted with their trunks and their feet. I find them to be every bit as brilliant as most modern art. One lacked of sense of color though. But, she's young. She may learn.

Love Leonard and Bea.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Amaya said...

You must have been desperate if you used a water fountain. I'm a bit of a germophobe myself and I don't go near those.

12:00 PM  

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