Friday, March 09, 2007

Jeepers Creepers

I’ve always heard it was the new car smell that sold so many cars, but the smell was never the thing that got me. I never found joy in shopping for a car. The only thing I loved shopping for was a Jeep.

Back in the 70s when you went to buy a Jeep from a dealer you quickly found that everything was an option. Standard features were a windshield, wipers and a drivers seat. Everything else was an option. Yes, that meant that passenger seats and a roof were options.

The idea of a Jeep appealed to me for years. Living in New Jersey where there were still some back country roads, and where snow was a frequent driving hazard in the winter, a Jeep just made sense to me. I wasn’t concerned with the rough ride. I wasn’t concerned with the lack of amenities that came with normal cars. I had no concern for the total utilitarian aspect of the vehicle. To me it was a cool toy and I wanted one.

I did finally get one in 1976. It was plagued with mechanical trouble. I became pretty good at fixing it because I couldn’t afford the constant repair bills that this Jeep was dealing me.

There was something that really got to me, and it took me a while to figure it out. I did a lot of summer driving in the Jeep. Summers are warm and muggy on the east coast. I’d mostly wear running shorts all summer long. I’d take the doors off and it would always be a cool drive. However after long drives I would be in pain, but I never put two and two together. The shape of the seat was odd, not like how the present automobile seat cradles you. These seats fit your butt (yes I had one back then) but your legs rose above the seat…hard to explain.

Anyway I understood the source of the problem after a ten-hour drive to Canada. I was wearing my running shorts, with no support in this bouncy Jeep …for ten hours. When I got to my destination, I hopped out and felt like I had just had taken a knee to my testicles. I was in really bad pain. I couldn’t walk for at least a half hour. Really, really bad pain. I wondered why I hadn’t realized this sooner?

On my way home I choose to sit on a wadded up jacket, and I took frequent driving breaks to assure this would not happen again. It was something I never wanted to feel again.

I kept the Jeep for another year, but was always careful to be supported after that. To this day I am careful and think of the incident every time I get on my lawn mower with its similar seating arrangement. This is a totally avoidable pain and one that is reserved for an after effect of doing something stupid.


Blogger Beth said...

Car dealers think I'm absolutely nuts when I tell them that a comfortable seat is of the utmost importance to me. (Re: my back.) A pricey car with seats designed for race car driving (hard, with litte give) is of no interest to me. Nor is leather - unless it's the kind you sink into in which case the price is beyond me.
I go with the Subaru - cloth seats.
Pain avoidance - high priority.

6:41 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Many moons ago, we had a 1976 Jeep Grand Wagoneer.
This was a full size station wagon, (made by Rambler) that in concept was as close to Ideal as you can get for a family living at high elevation.
I could go on and on about what a great car it was, with one exeption: One breakdown after another!
It was listed as the highest maintenance vehicle for that year.
As soon as you made one repair, somthing totally seperate would malfunction. And this with PERFECT CARE!!
When you were driving the car it was a total delight, until....
We finally gave up, and when we sold it, EVERY FLUID LEAKED:
Motor oil, tranny fluid, radiator, both gas tanks, front differential, rear differential, transfer case etc.....
I dont normally pick up hitchhikers, but recently I saw a gal walking down the side of the freeway from her beautiful Jeep Grand Waggoneer so I pulled over and gave her a ride into town.
She loves the car so much, that she refuses to sell it.
But you guessed it; she says that not one month goes bu with out a visit to the shop.

12:48 PM  
Blogger Amaya said...

Doh! And to think, those were used in the military ... could you imagine a group of army men getting out of a Jeep after a long tour and finding that they can't walk?

2:23 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, Subarus are great, I've had four of them so far.

Gearhead, here is my list, two transmissions. A carberator screw that would fall off and make the throtle open fully or closed. The distributor cap would occasionally blow off. You'd start the thing and hear a pop, open the hood and the hold-downs were bent and the cap was off with the wires still attached. I hit a bump once and the shift lever poped out and landed on the seat. Many many other things as well...

The military wears thick clothing so the boys are supported. I was a dopey kid with running shorts...bouncing around.

2:40 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

My hubby wants a Jeep SOOOOO bad! I'll buy him an upgrade (one of those donuts they make you sit on when you have hemmrhoids) to match the Jeep when he gets one.

You have to protect The Boys.

5:04 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Mo3 that Jeep was 30 years ago. I'm sure AMC has been sued for ball damage and they've fixed the problem. If they haven't just get SH some underwear that is two sizes too small for him. That will do it.

9:39 PM  
Blogger Auntie L said...

Guy - new car smell is highly over-rated. Best car smell is one with worn leather interior. And not 'been worn by some stinky ass stogie smoking flatulent drunk man' either.

MO3 - tight undies? TH may have some extra under-oos to spare. Maybe scooby doo or superman or something? :)

11:06 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Damn, TH is going to have a raw ass with all the spankings you've given him. since he started your blog for you.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Auntie L said...

Yeah, I suppose I should cut him some slack huh? He is been such a good sport about it, that it's probably time to layoff. Hear that GolfBoy?

However, I have a sneaking premonition that he is hard at work on some revenge plot.....

4:21 PM  

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