Blame the Name Game
I was recently speaking with someone about the bad names people give their children in conjunction with their last names. I bet every one knows a Robyn Hood. I knew a guy named Dick Hunter. Anyone who names their kid “Dick” should be taken away.
This conversation reminded me of a high school guidance counselor who had the last name of Knobbs. He named his daughter Ophelia…
I’ve seen some strange names come about because of marriage and hyphenation like: Sara Berger-King, Karen Sugar-Kane and Betty Bisby-Bee. There comes a point where one should just not hyphenate.
Care to share any names you’ve encountered?
posted by The Guy Who Writes This at 5:48 AM
20 Comments:
My sister had a friend in school named Spring Buck...
I knew someone named Mary-Kay Cadelac.
OC, I knew someone named Sweet Pea, I'm glad they didn't spell it Sweet Pee...
Zoe, I hope she was in the Pink. Or is that term way before your time?
A friend working for the courts said one family just named their child "Wild Chance." I had this verified, and it is indeed true.
One of the reasons my last boyfriend and I almost never dated was because my first name and his last name were only one letter different. I would have been "Lindsey Lindsley." I'm not terribly sad we broke up. :P
I knew someone in school named David David David. Isn't that awful?
Jaggy, if he was worth it you could have changed your first name to Jaggy. That has a nice punk edge to it. Wild Chance sound like it could be fun.
Amaya, welcome back! Yep that is pretty bad. There was an old jazz DJ in New York called William B. Williams. I wondered if the B stood for Bill.
Met a man recently whose name was Peter Porkka. I'm told the origin of the last name is Polish. Honest.
Can't make this shit up.
Thom! How's life in New York State? I was just thinking about you and Deb the other day, Pacem Terris, Pine Island and Sugarloaf. Thanks for finally commenting!
There was an oriental guy in my homeroom in grade 12 named Hung Long
We giggled whenever role was called.
Poor guy.
My mother has a friend named Mada.
She married a guy whose last name was Pew. (Not sure of the spelling.)
Mada Pew.
(True.)
Hey you Canadians are getting up kind of late today...What's going on up there?
Trish, that could be a case of false advertising. I've often wonder about the name Magic Johnson, I mean WTF?
Beth, I hope Mada didn't have a son named Peppy L.
For years there was an Electrical Inspector named Richard Eader.
He was not one that you looked forward to seeing, unlike some others.
Then he finally picked on the wrong guy and got fi-,,um,,er,, rather,,that is to say; Then he finally left building inspection to pursue other life goals. ;-)
No more Dick Eader. :-Q
OHOHOH!!! I have been waiting my WHOLE life for you to ask that question!!!
1. Where we used to live, there was the Beever family. There were two kids, Tawny Beever and Rusty Beever.
2. When I was a bank teller, one of the things they made us do was address the customer by name. Well, as luck would have it, we had Mr. Growcock and Mr. Glasscock. I shit you not. All of the tellers would be like, "NEXT!" because they didn't want to shout across the teller line to the next customer in line, "I'M OPEN OVER HERE MR. GLASSCOCK!" or "HOW ARE YOU TODAY, MR. GROWCOCK???"
3. I forgot, there was an honest-to-God Mrs. Schitt! All these people were really old, so what can you do?
4. I implore parents to PLEASE stop changing the spelling of old names! I cannot make out AhB'Gaielle as Abigail. My mind just can't process it. So stop.
5. One teller I worked with at the bank had the last name of Sweatt. Her maiden name was P'Pool. Therefore, hyphenated she was P'Pool-Sweatt. Then she went and named her daughter Sonnett. Sonnett Sweatt.
Funny how a lot of these names are basically dick jokes. What are parents thinking...or not thinking.
Even in Shell Silverstein's song, A Boy Named Sue, there was a reason for naming him that, but what could possibly be the reason for a dick joke name?
I knew a girl named Krystal Chanda Lear. AdRi once came across a Candy Cotton (Cotton, Candy). Wasn't there a football player once named Ima Pigg?
My father's name is Richard and my brother (the only other boy in the family w/four sisters) was born on his daddy's birthday. His name is Richard, also. My dad once told his secretary that he wanted to take a page from "The Donald"'s book and be called, yep, "The Dick" she informed him that he already was. My brother's nickname is Ricko, which is what my parent's really wanted to name him, after Rico Petrocelli but they knew the family would protest.
Lelo, parents can be cruel, but you know if you remove the middle name, Krystal Leer sounds pertty cool.
CB have your friends started giving their kids Bhai names? I bet those meet some challenges.
Our town had two, count 'em, two girls named Merry. Their clan? The Christmas family.
That's sick! Especially since I am not a fan of Christmas as it is.
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