Friday, June 29, 2007

A Problem With Acting

Imagine, you’ve worked hard at your acting skill since you were in the 8th grade play. You’ve studied Shakespeare, you’ve taken acting classes, you've done Summer Stock and taught yourself to cry on cue. You risk all your money and dreams by moving to LA hoping to find an agent and hopefully have a career in acting. You land bit parts and there is a light at the end of the tunnel when your agent tells you to audition for a part in a commercial, and then your feelings become mixed when you find out that you will be Miss Diarrhea in a Pepto Bismal commercial.

Do you go around bragging that you landed a gig as the person who holds their butt to make it look like you are holding back a stream of liquid shit? Just how do you add this job to your resume? Why couldn’t you have landed Indigestion, Heartburn or Upset Stomach? Nope, you're Diarrhea, and you know it will be on IMDB forever. Shit!


Blogger Hahn at Home said...

Or the guy in the Valtrex commercial: "I have Herpes. To make sure my girlfriend is as safe as possible, I use Valtrex." He did a fine acting job though, really.

Poor guy, he's really good looking and this is probably as good as it's gonna get for him.

5:47 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

My favorite was "don't let Herpes slow you down..."

I mean if you have Herpes, SHOULDNT you slow down????

6:47 AM  
Blogger Mike S said...

The "Head On" gal is indelibly imprinted on my mind as annoying:)

10:07 AM  
Anonymous walter richards said...

Do you go around bragging that you landed a gig as the person who holds their butt to make it look like you are holding back a stream of liquid shit? Just how do you add this job to your resume?

See if someone's making a video for prepping for a colonoscopy. Pretty much the same acting is required.


12:22 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

My first gig was at a Christmas church play in the 2nd grade.
My little part was to wear a sign that said, "X-MAS", and my line was something like, "Don't take Christ out of Christmass...etc....
Well, before the play, the sunday school teacher put the sign on me.
There I was, walking around a VERY CONSERVITIVE church, days before Christmas, wearing a sign that said, "X-MAS".
All of the older folk were yelling at me, grabbing my arm, yelling and shaking me.
"You ought to be ashamed, you little snot-nose!"
No one would let me explain.
I felt like a pinball.
Even after they saw the play some of them scowled at me from then on.

12:38 PM  
Anonymous walter richards said...

OH! For some reason, that reminded me of a story that took place at church when I was a tyke. It wasn't a play, though.

My mom dropped me off with the "children's church" for the main service, and told me to wait there until she came to pick me up. Well, I guess there were so many kids, they were moving some to another room ... and wanted me to be one of them. But as soon as they tried to take me out the door, I raised such a ruckus they could hear me in the other building, where the main service was going on. After a few minutes, my mom showed up and told me it was okay to go to the other room.

lol. Well ... my mom told me to wait in THAT room, and that's what I was gonna do. heeheehee

6:42 PM  
Blogger flutter said...

can't you fancy it up? Can't you be intestinal discomfort?

12:56 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Guy, I just nominated you for a Thinking Blogger Award. :)

1:20 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Sorry I haven't been able to reply to all you nice folks until now. I took my horse into the woods for a couple days, and I just got back tonight and boy do I stink.

Anyway, I'm all for keepingt the X in Xams and I'm surprised the prono industry hasn't used this to their advantage.

Mel, Thanks, but if that means I'm going to have to start thinking I'll want a recount ; )

A fresh new article will come your way tomorrow morning.

8:25 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

Ya know, on the other hand, they get paid every single time that commercial runs. Sometimes, commercials can be even more lucrative than other roles--if you have the right agent, that is.

9:39 PM  
Blogger WenWhit said...

...Just laughing...

6:45 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

; )

8:08 AM  

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