Thursday, December 20, 2007


Maybe it’s just me but I feel silly applauding. Think about it, clapping ones hands together to make noise in appreciation of something. Sometimes I think the price of admission to an event is my appreciation, or better yet stuffing cash into a tip jar.

There is a point where you can tell an audience is just doing it because they are supposed to, and the lack of length of the applause denotes a lack-luster performance. I love it when they ask the audience to hold their applause until the end of a debate.

I find the applause disingenuous at the State of the Union address the President makes every year. It nearly goes by party line, and sometimes the President forces all to applaud by throwing out a statement where it would be treasonous not to applaud.

Have you ever attended theater for the deaf? They don’t clap since they are deaf. No one would hear it. Instead they raise their hands and flutter them like Al Jolson going across the stage in black face.

I think it would be cool if we all carried electronic devices where we could reward performers with some sort of joyful stimuli. I’m thinking of a thing like a walky-talky that is combined with a taser that broadcasts energy that feels good. You point it at the performers, pull the trigger and waves of good feeling hit them.

When I go to a show I don’t want to become part of the show. I don’t want to have to sing along. I don’t want to dance. I don’t want to be called up on the stage. I want to sit like a lump and be entertained. If I like what I see and hear, I will hit the pleasure button rather than clapping like a seal.


Blogger Beth said...

You're getting Scroogier and Scroogier as we approach the 25th. It's great!
I applaud you!

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

He's baaaaack! Good one Guy. Speaking of stages, do you know how to tell if it is level? Knowing you to be a drummer of sorts, of course you do. The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth...

7:49 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

Perhaps a Hitachi Magic Wand.

10:26 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, but that's the way I am all the time, Xmas has nothing to do with it unless I ever get mixed up with shoppers.

Moosehead, You, too? You Canadians are ganging up on me. Was the applause piece that nasty? I guess I'll have to read it again. BTW I love drummer jokes. Keep em coming.

Lori, somehow I think you have some sort of endorsement deal with them. I've never seen such a "Satisfied" customer. They need to sign you up . That's an ad I'd love to see.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Hey - you dont feel right applauding? What about the nite that Nick Took it Out ?


1:13 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

That was 30+ years ago, long before I became so cranky. I probably even liked poetry back then.

1:55 PM  
Blogger Barrie said...

They do that at theatres for the deaf? What an interesting fact!

10:40 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Barrie, welcome! Yes, they hold their hands slightly above their heads and rotate and wave them. If you search deaf applause on flickr you'll see stills of what it looks like.

5:40 AM  

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