Looking For Loopholes
Religious people in the United States of America keep insisting that our country is a Christian nation built on Christian doctrine and fundamentals. This is why they justify having Christmas as a National Holiday. So, let’s go down the list and see how well we are doing adhering to the Judeo-Christian rules.
The Ten Commandments:
I. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. I wonder why it is that people seem to worship actors, politicians, musicians and outspoken preachers. I see more news time spent dedicated to Brittany, Oprah, Hillary, Obama and McCain . The only piece I see on God in the media is “This Week In God” on the Daily Show.
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. So how does our Government explain all the images of dead presidents on our money, and what about Mt. Rushmore? The only graven images we are not allowed to see are the flag draped coffin returning to the USA.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Why is the word God on our money? Why are the words, “So help me God” used in every government and court room swearing in event?
IV. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Would that be Friday, Saturday or Sunday or is that a prophetic omen that we should buy early Ozzie Osborn records and dedicate one day of the week to listening to Iron Man?
V. Honor thy father and thy mother. In this case I think of the framers of the Constitution and their spouses as our fathers and mothers. It also seems that we have dishonored them by allowing the current President to dismantle much ot their fine work.
VI. Thou shalt not kill. Damn, that’s something our government does so well, be it in killing people in unjustified wars and conflicts or the death penalty in Texas and Florida.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Well at least most of the adulterers have dropped out of the race for the White House. But they still find a safe haven in other branches of government and in their ministries.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal. We have spies and the CIA and we utilize slave labor in foreign countries and we steal oil and energy and let’s not forget the taxes we pay.
IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Hey pal, that’s called intelligence, though no WMDs were ever found.
X. Thou shalt not covet. Damn, this means we would have to stop having wars for oil and stop importing all that crap from China. We would also have to stop accepting foreign loans to keep our economy propped up. Oh yes, let’s not forget the rape and plunder of our natural resources.
So the next time you hear that our country is going to Hell, you can finally agree without reservation.