Monday, February 04, 2008

Sick Day XIX

I’m sick of people who have to tell you about every crumb of food they ate at some restaurant. I’m sick of people who insist on taking fifteen minutes to tell you about a dream they had. I’m sick of people who feel they have to tell you every detail of a movie or a TV show they saw. I’m sick of people who have to not only tell you about their relatives that you have never met and will never meet, but they also have to tell you exactly how they are related to them, like the sister of a cousin’s ex boyfriends father… I’m sick of baby pictures. I don’t care how proud you are to be grand parents; I don’t like babies and I certainly don’t want to see their photograph. I don’t want to be introduced to your pets either.

It’s a wonder I communicate at all. And speaking of communication, it's February and that means it time to stock up on anti-depressants. Yes, Fisher Poets is right around the corner. Do you think we can get the state to dump some lithium in the water supply to stem the tides of expected suicides from all the bad poetry? It's a public safety issue, they should be able to do something. I am coming to town during one day of this event to meet my hero and fellow blogger, Matt Stanberry and his lovely fiancee. Matt, a fly fisherman wants to walk on the wild side for a weekend. I'll assure him that he can return to his graphite Fenwick and never have to think about nets and crab pots again after it's all over.


Blogger Auntie said...

Oh, this will be priceless. 20$ to the first person who can bring me a photo of the Guy posing with some of the Fisher Poets......

6:52 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

I'll kick some in on that action.

6:59 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Hey, you two, Matt isn't going to be reading. He is living a happy life and wants to attend the readings just so he can reaffirm how good he really has it as compared to those who attempt to make a living at it.

Someone once told me that Fishers are living proof that fish is not brain food.

7:58 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

A Guy rant! Love it. Too bad I'm in a good mood (and not from anti-depressants) and can't add to the list.
(I'm guilty of kid and pet pictures on my blog but what the hell...)

8:10 AM  
Blogger nootka said...

This was fun to read! I lurv a good rant.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous THartill said...


You should turn in your "Town Poetry" you did last year.

Or maybe write a poem about how much you hate poetry....

8:33 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Thats right, TH. Guy, could you please resurrect your Poetry Competition skit????? Please????

8:53 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, you aren't so bad. How come you've been thinking that I've been pointing a stick at you lately. This is like the third time you've confessed to transgressions. Relax Hon, you're one of my favorites.

Nootka, you're relatively new here, but I usually do a sick day post on the first Monday of the month. This was #19. I missed December because of the storm. I think I missed January for some lame reasons.

TH, one day I will publish all of my skits here. There is a ton of them.

Auntie, here's a link to what you are talking about for those who missed this post last year. Poetry Skit

9:35 AM  
Blogger weese said...

sounds like someone needs a tall glass of tap water.

9:35 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Weese, forget the glass, just give me the hose...

10:12 AM  
Anonymous the guy who writes this said...

"sounds likes someone needs a tall glass of tap water"

and shove it right up for a colonic.

I see you are scape-ing the barrel again.

6:50 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I'm sure I'll be scraping the barrel over the next three days here for sensitive and artistic ugly baby loving, bad poetry loving persons such as yourself.

5:03 AM  

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