Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Mule People

Over the years I’ve written a few articles on horses and horse owners and how wondrous and peculiar they can be. I could write books on the odd behavior of horse owners. My most recent favorite compliment towards other horse owners is when I say to someone, “You’re pretty smart for someone who keeps horses.” Everyone seems to get it whenever I say that.

Now for the sake of self preservation I’m going to tread as lightly as I can tread upon where I’m taking this. If you have ever known horse owners you can immediately tell they are a little off, but “you ain’t seen nothing” until you come across mule owners.

First, I should be kind and blame their misgivings on a disability they all seem to share. You see, I believe they are all hearing impaired. I’m sure this is because they were the victims of the loud mule and donkey braying that dislodged any cilia in their ears.

It makes sense to me that they are deaf because they aren’t in the least bit annoyed by the sounds their animals make. Next they don’t seem to ever take a suggestion and keep on doing things in an often unsafe way even though you’ve mentioned the consequences to them. Another thing is most of them talk like they can’t hear themselves and the stupid things they are constantly saying.
Mules are known to be stubborn as are their keepers. I actually think it’s an active competition they have with one another. The winner is usually who ever out-lives the other. Mule owners often mistake guile for intelligence for both themselves and their mules.

I think that not only do you all get the point by now, but I’ve probably dug this hole deep enough. I’m sure I’m going to hear from some mule owners out there who are going to do their best to make an ass out of me for these words, but hey, I’ve never been accused of not being an ass.


Blogger darev2005 said...

I think you may have burro'ed yourself into a hole, there Guy!

"Animal people" are all strange. You should meet my sister.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

Oh yeah, you stepped in it.

But really, I think you'd have to own a mule to get it. They're great fun.

7:41 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

Any animal bigger than me scares the hell out of me - so yeah, I don't get horse owners either.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have admiration for Donks--there was an old guy who worked for the fam for years--he'd stay out all summer in the mountains and we'd resupply his camp once a week. He always took his donk rather than a horse-the donkey would never require to be tied up or confined-it would do all it's grazing around the camp- would never wander far or run off. A horse wont do that. Also, whenever the old man had to do some legwork that donkey would fall right in behind him like a dog-follow him anywhere-always kept an eye on him and also acted like a watchdog around the camp

8:35 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

The mule is Missouri's state animal. I believe "mule-headed" is a term that applies to lots of us Missouri folks.

Gaited mules are a big thing these days; the man who bought Libby got her for the purpose of being a "mule mom". He said he gets huge prices ($2,500 to $3,00)for his gaited mules.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The other day I drove past a farm, and no the farmer was not out standing in his field, he was standing up on some manner of farm implement, looked like a rake, holding the reins to a nice pair of horses harnessed to the big old rake. When I drove back by a half hour later I was blown away by how much he had progressed. There was a method to his madness. Of course Christ was an ass person if memory serves,

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to point out that I resisted the temptation to tack on the phrase "so of course he loves you, to my last post. Heh heh.

10:35 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Darev, I know your sister very well. I met her when she was only over the top with the dogs. She's come a long was since then.

Syd, you don't have one I bet, you aren't the type.

Trish, that's OK, I still love you, and I agree with you.

Anon, it's all about training. I've seen good horses and bad donkeys as well.

Donna, that's all? That's what they're selling brood mares for out here.

Anon, you'll have to ask him. Jesus is working over at the Dried Salmon Forum these days. Good sense of humor for a religious fellow.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Uncle Walt said...

You're right ... it's all in the training. Family stories say my great-great-grandpappy had a horse and a mule ... both of which he won in poker games ... that he used in tandem around the farm. The stories tell that both these animals were better trackers than dogs, and tended to follow ol' gg-grandpap around like puppies.

The most famous story is how, after gg-gpap didn't come home for dinner, gg-gmom turned the pair loose to track him down. They supposedly found him in the local tavern, and dragged him out by the back of his shirt ... and all the way back home.

3:14 PM  

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