Friday, January 30, 2009

Antique Shops

We recently had a visitor and when this particular visitor comes we find ourselves visiting every antique store in the County. As everyone that has ever gone antiquing before must realize; antique stores usually have less than one percent of their items that are actually antique. The rest of their content is memorabilia, junk and kitsch.

The worst thing that all these stores have in common is paintings and “art work” (for lack of a better term) which are bad depictions of American Indians and Jesus. I think I’ve seen it all. There was the Indian maiden standing in a birch-bark canoe shooting an arrow at some game. Other than the background and her clothing, she didn’t even look like an Indian. It was obviously painted by someone that has some weird huntress fantasy. There were all sorts of Indians with painted faces which weren’t too far off from clown prints. It was the ultimate gallery of Indian stereo types.

The Jesus prints went way beyond any job description that that a savior should have. He’s walking on the water with lambs and babies. He’s kneeling at the rock and praying. His eyes open and close and follow you around the room. Is this meant for worship or parody?

I am curious as to what the circumstances were for these objects created and purchased in the first place.


Blogger Donna said...

I love pictures of Indians; I have a set of Indian warrior plates on the wall near my desk. But I've never seen a portrayal of an Indian woman that looks like the genuine article; they're all so unrealistically beautiful, with lots of makeup on. And they always appear to be wearing a nice support bra.

And Jesus pictures? Don't get me started! Shouldn't He be olive-skinned, with dark hair? That's what everybody else from that part of the world looks like.

4:14 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Perhaps the owners of these shops consider Jesus and American Indian legend/lore "antiquated notions."

4:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let me know if you ever stumble across a black velvet painting of Elvis...


6:20 AM  
Blogger Patrick McGee said...

I collect Rooster figurines, Toby Mugs, Royal Doulton Ducks, Die Cast Classic Motorcycles.


I just like to look at them.

8:11 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Why shouldn't paintings of jesus be ridiculous? Have you ever seen paintings of the saints? Holy snap! It's the same with indians and any other type of "iconic" figure. People get these pictures in their heads and feel a compulsion to put them on canvas to share with the world. Some artists should have to apply for a license before they are allowed to paint, in my mind.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

Nothing beats the cheesy "art" at the Catholic Store. I like to visit their site just for laughs sometimes.

8:58 AM  
Blogger richpix said...

All I can say is, there's a place for everything:
Museum of Bad Art

12:25 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Donna, it's like the illustrators have never seen a real American Indian. We know they never saw Jesus.

Beth, that made me smile and warmed my heart.

Moose, those are illegal to possess in Canada. You'll have to settle for the velvet Celine Dion.

Patrick, when it's time to get a larger house you known you've taken it too far.

Darev, see Rich's link below.

Syd, You're a recovering Southern Baptist. It's isn't right going there. I'll email you a site you might enjoy. Hehehe.

Rich, Good one, pretty bad. When are you moving back to Astoria?

Waiting for Mike to pipe in...

8:16 PM  
Anonymous Ginger said...

Recently, I got my hubby the lamp from the movie "A Christmas Story", you know, the Special award...Now I'm in the market for a tapestry or velvet of "dogs playing poker". So maybe some of you can keep an eye out for me :)

3:20 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I have all of Jean Shepherd's books, some even signed. I did post about him a few years ago. Now he was a story teller.

I told Donna that I'm waiting for a print of Jesus plkaying poker with an Indian and Elvis.

6:09 PM  

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