Saturday, July 04, 2009


OK, today is the 4th of July. Normally I take the horses out on a camping trip over the 4th because the local folks that moved out in the country from the city brought their city ways with them and they just love to make noise.

If you are one of those city folks that likes to make noise, may I suggest that all your fireworks noise freaks out the horses, dairy and beef cows, sheep and goats that your neighbors keep. There are a few shell shocked vets living out in the country as well. If you are really into the noise, perhaps you should enlist in the armed forces and volunteer to go to Afghanistan. I’m sure you’ll hear the noise that you love so much on a daily if not hourly basis.

Maybe it will just be easier not making all that noise this year. Really, don’t be a douche, please.


Blogger Tango said...

I wonder what it's going to be like out here in the sticks. I was still in the city last year at this time. Hopefully people will go to an event instead of lighting up the stuff at home.

4:15 AM  
Blogger Tango said...

Say.....are you giving us the finger?

4:37 AM  
Anonymous Auntie said...

Was this suppose to persuade ? LOL

Yeah, Tango, the finger is for us people that like to celebrate today with a bit of noise.

Guy, tranquilize your beasts for the night, surely you must have something around......

and yeah, i will pre-emptively call myself a BITCH so you don't have to. See how obliging I can be?

6:24 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

I think the girls are dissing you, big fella. Your only real choice is temporarily decamp, as you suggested, deal with it, or move further out in the sticks. If I had my druthers, I'd be so far out it would be where the sticks are made. But then, I'm an antisocial critter anyway.

6:38 AM  
Blogger richpix said...

Big Finale

6:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck finding a quiet place to camp. Friends called last night and said they'd be coming home early since their usual quiet 4th get away spot was invaded by idiots with explosives. There is almost no such thing as a forest ranger left and the camp host is over 85 there isn't much to stop people from being stupid anymore.

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

camp host prolly cant even hear the fireworks

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prior to about 15 years ago Astoria was basically deserted on the 4th. It was so rolled up it looked like a ghost town. If you wanted fireworks, and maybe a little action on the side, you went to Seaside. Folks in the country had picnics with an all age baseball game in a freshly mowed pasture. Fireworks consisted mainly of sparklers and a seal bomb smuggled in by uncle Joe. Nowadays shee-yit if you don't drop at least $50 on illegal bombs and rockets you are a loser with a capital L. Hopefully the tough economy will slow down some of the madness. If not you can call your friendly county mountie on those scofflaws

8:46 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

I enjoy hearing the firecrackers. The sound takes me back to my childhood, and also to the time when my kids enjoyed shooting off fireworks. None of the three horses here seem to notice the noise, and I've never seen cows be upset by it. Sadie, my dog, freaks out, but I don't have to worry about her running off today, for a change.

12:45 PM  
Blogger a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i loved this post because:
a)you used the word douche on a national holiday.
2. that is the best flaming salute i have ever seen.
12-i got drunk on the sarcasm.


3:23 PM  
Anonymous Danielle said...

Hi Uncle Guy,

I'm stepping out of lurker mode to comment. Couldn't resist. Every idiot in Ohio has been letting off fireworks for the past 2 days, so today's post made me chuckle.

Other than all the noise, I hope all is well.
P.S. I have a funny pic I'll be sending your way via email. Just a heads up.

9:11 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Tango, no, that was intended for the noisy neighbors.

Auntie, Job well done, and reflect on that poem I once wrote for you.

Darev, they were dissing me in deed.

Rich, that's what it was like here last night, no shit. I don't understand how anyone can afford a 45 minute non-stop show like that in this economy, and two neighbors did it.

Anon 1, I didn't camp this year, I knew it would be too busy having the 4th on a Saturday this year.

Anon 2, Generally people are cool about noise in a horse camp. We'd run offenders off.

Anon #3, no these shows get bigger out here every year, rockets and mortars and everything.

Donna, I can appreciate a firecracker here and there, but 5 inch mortars in a neighborhood during fire season is a bad idea.

Irish, when I'm not being sarcastic I'm sardonic.

Danielle, I eagerally await your attachment.

6:05 AM  
Blogger richpix said...

One of my neighbors had a party and they set off fireworks for over 3 hours last night. Normally it wouldn't have been too bad but we had the coolest 4th I can ever remember. I had the windows open and the A/C off. The cats were petrified.

Along with the fireworks noise and flashing they played a lot of Latin music and several Michael Jackson tunes including Billy Jean (the chair is not my son) 4 times! Rat Bastards!

About 1 am they turned down the tunes so they could do a lot of drunken yelling. Douche bags.

6:21 AM  
Blogger a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

s and s. dirty. i like it.

6:50 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Rich, man, you had it bad. Good memory on "the chair is not my son." Yep Total Rat Bastards and Douche Bags. It can't get much worse than that. The horse stalls were a mess after all our noise.

Irish, Have I told you that I missed you while you were on vacation?

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Ginger said...


What great timing for this topic!
You know where I live....and we moved here for a better way of life..this includes peace and quiet. The neighbor RENTS his property to weekend idiots and their "friends". They have bands w/ big speakers..they get highly intoxicated...every year there is a 911 call for one thing or another...and when they are really good and shit faced they yell into the microphone at 4am over the already loud, really bad, techno "music" (this stuff should be played in the middle east to flush out terrorists) . It is non stop for about three days. I can handle hood to coast (it's only 24 hours) and even the weekend idiots...but they seem to not realize that people LIVE WAY OUT HERE. Gwen has to wear ear plugs to sleep at night. My hubby, daughter, and I can't wear ear plugs, since we volunteer w/ the local FD and might not hear our pagers for an emergency (like a wreck involving the idiots and "friends" or...a fire in your favorite hay fields from fireworks set off by the idiots and "friends"). After no sleep from this weekend and still trying to get things done during the day, I need a nap.

3:23 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Sounds like you need to have a cook-out and invite Bergen and some of the deputes over some weekend.

7:54 PM  
Blogger weese said...

i don't mind it so much if folks would just do it on the one night.
but not only is it all weekend long..people seem to do them any old time now that you can buy most of them at walmart.

8:39 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Weese, are there any legal fireworks in Conn? Sparklers were the only thing that was legal in New Jersey. In Oregon all you can legally have is sparkly things that don't explode or fly. The neighbors had 5 inch mortars. Rat bastards, all of em.

5:13 AM  

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