Women and Chocolate
I know there is a strange bond or relationship between women and chocolate. It isn’t just a menstrual connection either though a cycle can intensify the desire.
I was visiting with the Blue Mamba the other day and she was “Masticating” a piece of this chocolate pie. The pie was a quadruple chocolate threat. It had a chocolate crust, chocolate goo with dark chocolate goo on top of that with chunks of chocolate scattered about liberally. After its consumption Blue Mamba resembled a cat that had just self medicated itself with catnip. She was docile and smiled contently and looked for a place to nap.
I’m in touch with my feminine side, but damn that was way too much chocolate. Men neither desire nor can they physically handle chocolate to that degree without their testosterone tanking out for a few days following an eating event such as that.
One cool thing about chocolate and living with a woman is that I have learned to always have chocolate hidden, so when a mood turns sour, out come the chocolate and peace is immediately restored.
For Amy:
posted by The Guy Who Writes This at 4:00 AM
26 Comments:
you sir? are a gentleman and a scholar.
You sat and watch B.M. masticate her food? Man, how does she rate. Normally at the first site of someone begining to chew, I thought you ran the other way screaming.
mmmm
My strategy as well. When things go sour I'll fling a hershey bar or a box of raisinets or some miniature dove bars into the room and scuttle off to hide for half an hour or so. With two women in my house it has saved my bacon numerous times.
Irish, thank you. That's the nicest thing I've been called all week, as opposed to Auntie who has called me a bitch and a bastard in the last two days.
Auntie, actually she hid it well with her hand over her mouth in respect. I just had to use the word "Masticate" because Blue Mamba likes that word.
Weese, I know how to treat a lady.
Darev, right said, brother.
Going to Deals Only for some dark chocolate truffles. I'm in need of some sort of mojo since the wife hit the big five 0.
I feel the same about steak and Eel. Not so crazy about chocolate or any other sweets.
For me it's steak, a straight shot of Grey Goose and the sound of a Jake-Break. (Guy...I already know that I march to a different drummer.)
Anon, are you nuts? She is probably pre-menopausal and you are going to get her chocolate from Deals Only? That chocolate was rejected from China because they used too much radiator fluid in the mix when making it. Really, go down to Columbia Chocolates and do it right. Giving bad chocolate to a woman in crisis is like thinking it's a good idea to put a ventilation hole in a wasp nest to cool them off on a hot day.
Tango, yes I knew that, but now I'm starting to find you really interesting. I could say that you're a real card, in fact you are the whole deck and you need to be dealt with ; )
I am too glad that I swallowed before reading.
You'd be right about the pre thing and nothing against CC but DO has some pretty gourmet offerings chocolate wise. Dove, Lindor truffles ect.
Men neither desire nor can they physically handle chocolate to that degree without their testosterone tanking out for a few days following an eating event such as that.
Disagree! When Denny's was here, if I was suffering a bad week, I'd go their for "death by chocolate".
Triple layer chocolate cake, chocolate pudding between layers, chocolate icing ... covered with chocolate syrup. And one of those itsy-bitsy scoops of vanilla on the side - also covered in chocolate syrup.
Improved my outlook on life quite considerably ... until I came crashing down from the sugar high. LOL
Now I settle for Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream, instead.
Is it disturbing that this post turned me on? What could have put it over the top would have been a picture of a super chocolate layer cake. *happy sigh*
Heeeeee.........mine allll mineeeeee...... ::giggle:: I'll try to be polite and use a fork, but I can't make any promises.
Tango, hot chocolate?
Anon, OK, good luck with that.
Walt, I think you may be in touch with your feminine side. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Amy, I live to turn on the readers, so I added a little something just for you at the bottom of the article.
Kissies to you.
Auntie, don't you dare link that site you know of. I mean it!
Nope....not really. I can't stand the skin that forms on top when it cools down a bit. Totally grosses me out.
In our house, it's the hubby who LOVES chocolate...and not that pansy milk chocolate...the dark stuff. Living w/ three females, he suffers...i'm sure you all understand...to the point that he hides it. I go to his tool chest...although I am not supposed to use his tools and he can tell if I've been into them...I find all kinds of num nums there...mostly chocolate and sometimes a bag of marshmallows! It could be worse...it could be a bottle of don julio or crown royal. I'm not complaining :)
i am an admitted chocoholic. i love blue mamba. she represents me.
Tango, just dunk some meat in it.
Ginger, funny you mentioned that because I'm starting to get into having drinks again. Not often and only one when I do, but I think I'd like to hide a bottle in my shop.
The Blue Mamba I'm talking about only represents her self. Is there another Blue Mamba in Astoria? Cool maybe we can have a battle of the Blue Mambas and the winner keeps the name and gets a pair of stylish shoes as a prize.
You mean that certain link about chocolate cake? Hmmmmmm, link coming soon.....
Love the comments...give me cheesecake (plain old kind, not chocolate) and a chocolate cake (my favorite "dessert drink") and I'd be happy.
(Ps: and Tango is a full deck, isn't she)
I've gotten desperate enough to pull the baking chocolate out and suck on a face puckering chunk of that.
But if you want to be my friend for life, dark chocolate covered almonds. My husband knows if he tries to snag a chocolate almond he's likely to lose a finger.
colimbiacritter
Growing up in the country without a store near by when I got desperate for chocolate I would mix, cocoa, sugar, peanutbutter, cream and anything else I could find to satisfy that craving.
Auntie, back off.
Teri, I'll need to post about cheese cake some day.
Critter, I can see that in you. When you want chocolate, you want it now.
Paula, now that's hard core.
Damn you, Guy! I am trying to lose, or at least stabilize my post-40 bloat and you have to mention what amounts to heroin to me. The only thing you could have done worse was to write about ice cream. That's crack.
Ice cream? Hmmmmm...
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