New Shoes

Ray Bradbury wrote about the relationship of a boy and a pair of sneakers in his book Dandelion Wine. Shoes are very personal items that men rarely think of and women have been known obsess over.

In life it seems that my memorable shoe moments come in the form of:
1. Most ugly and embarrassing shoes that refuse to ever wear out.
2. The cool shoes you’ve been begging for, finally got and now you are in the “In Crowd.”
3. If you were around in the 70s, Earth Shoes were supposed to help your back, but ended up screwing up your knees.
4. The must have expensive sneakers that was made by children in Asia.
5. The cheapest crap you can find because you are paying for them out of your own pocket.
6. The most comfortable or orthopedic shoes you now have to wear because you screwed up your feet with those cheap shoes.
7. Finally, the “I no longer give a crap” shoes.


I am presently in the “I no longer give a crap” stage. Unless there is something special I need to do like dress up and wear a suit, (which I haven’t done in at least 10 years), or climb on a roof, I can be found wearing only sandals or muck boots.

Muck boots (not necessarily the Muck brand of boot, but rather the slip-on rubber boots that dairy farmers wear) are the new ideal for me and the wet climate in which I live. I got my first pair last year and now I wonder how I ever got along with out them. I retired my garden clogs and work boots and haven’t looked back. I would wear my muck boots all the time if I could.

For the other times I wear sandals. Yes, even all winter in the rain and snow. Yes I wear socks with them. Men should always wear socks because their feet generally look like Froto. I think it has been close to three years now since I’ve worn a traditional shoe.

So why do I write this? It’s because I was thinking of a woman I used to work with who would stuff her size eight foot into a size four shoe every day. It looked so strange seeing layers of flesh pouring out over the sides of these stupid looking pumps. I can only imagine the stress on the material in those shoes. How could she endure the pain every day just to give herself the illusion that her feet were smaller than they really were? How did she physically get those dogs in there? Grease? Maybe she never removed them, and just grew into them when she was a teen. It is still a mystery to me. A tortuous mystery.