Regular Jo

When I was in my 20’s I was a bit of a wine snob. I understood wine back then, and my taste buds were younger and more attuned to the complexity of that which was very good. I was once asked what I had been most disappointed in life at that point. I thought for a moment and I honestly and flippantly replied, “The first time I tasted Asti Spumonti.”

I gave up my wine habit when I moved out here, not because of any bouts with alcoholism, but rather the price of French wines in Oregon were ridiculous. Back on the east coast, French wines cost far less than the mass produced California wines.

Anyway, I’m taking this far away from where I intend to go, which is with bad coffee.
Like many people I am a person who enjoys things that taste good. I’m not talking about taking down a pint of ice cream in one sitting because it was that good, but rather one who is satisfied if something, even just one thing on my plate is outstanding.

Coffee is a good starting point for this discussion because it is usually the first beverage we assume every day. I wrote about food imprinting earlier, and we have all imprinted our personal brew on ourselves. This becomes a problem when we dine out and expect to find good coffee.

Some restaurants understand the delicate balance of making good coffee. First, it doesn’t come out of a big aluminum or stainless pot. Sometimes it doesn’t come out of a Mr. Coffee device, yet sometimes it does. I personally respect a coffee that is a bit richer than what I make at home. The smell should wake you up. If you add half and half the result should have a creamy look not a watery look.

I’ve gotten to the point of walking into a restaurant, and the first thing I do is sniff the air like a bear. From that sniff I can tell not only how good the food is, but how good the coffee is as well. I will often eat in places where the food isn’t great out of convenience, but I will not drink the coffee in a place where I can’t smell it when I walk in. I’ve been disappointed too many times. In those situations I will order tea with honey. Tea is hard to screw up, though I have seen it done.

It’s really ok to order a flavorful tea. Try it when you suspect you will be disappointed by the coffee.

Another place I no longer drink coffee is in hotel rooms. Those little in-room coffee makers make the worst possible coffee. Those damn things even make water for tea taste bad. How is that possible?

Also a note to wait staff: if someone has cream and sugar in their coffee, please don’t refill the cup until it is empty. Refilling messes up the delicate balance.

One thing I miss is the “Regular.” If you’ve ever spent time on the East Coast; New York, Connecticut and New Jersey in particular, if you walk into a diner or a newspaper shop with a counter and ask for a “Regular”, you got a dark blue cardboard cup with pictures of Greek columns on it. The coffee was delightful, with a spoon of sugar and a splash of cream. The cream and sugar seemed to draw the flavor out of the coffee. Black coffee is pretty bland, but the cream and sugar took this beverage to a whole new level. Oddly I have never had a bad cup of coffee that came in the blue cardboard cup. I don’t understand how or why places who serve their to-go coffee in those blue cups always get it right. Nor do I understand why restaurants out here can consistently serve bad coffee.