Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Close Shave

I once tried growing a beard. It didn’t look good at all, though I did keep a mustache for a couple months after shaving the beard. That too went because I was always messed with it. It bugged me by touching my lip.

Maybe I’m a bit tweaky, but (OK I realize I’m going to put out another bit of my neurotic behavior, so those of you keeping track of them all, this is for you) I don’t like being touched by things. Having my mustache touch my lips is akin to walking into a spider web. Having someone’s pet brush up against me is like having insects crawling on me. I won’t go for massages. Sometimes I’ll grow my hair for years just so I won’t have someone touching me to cut it. I avoid hugging for the most part, and one has to be very special and close to me to get away with it. I dislike shaking hands as well.

Anyway, that’s not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to comment on razors. When I was old enough to shave I used what was called a safety razor. For those of you too young to remember this was a double edged blade that went into a device. Safer than a straight blade, it still inflicted a great deal of injuries. If you ever check into an old hotel and see strangely shaped slot that goes into the bathroom wall, that’s a razor disposal.

Eventually someone invented the Track II which was two blades stacked in one razor. That shaved much better than a single blade. Then one-upmanship happened and someone came out with a razor with three blades. Eventually a four blade system came out, and I recently heard an ad for a five blade system and I saw a six blade on the net. When and where will this madness end? I haven’t tried the five or six blade system yet, but I have tried the four blade. I think the three blade system is the best so far. It lasts a long time and it doesn’t feel bad.

Oddly the reason this all comes to mind is because I was applying shaving cream to my face the other morning and I my finger slipped and I got some on my lip. I had to wipe it off immediately, and then I thought of my father. He would get a full hand of shaving cream and in one big circular motion he was covered; lips, nose and other areas that didn’t ever need shaving. I conservatively place it exactly and only exactly over areas to be shaved. The less of me that gets touched, the better I feel.

It also reminds me of a time when I was having dinner with my guy friends in Manzanita and Nehalem. There was a bunch of us. All the men except for me and one other person had facial hair. I asked why only he and I were clean shaven, and one fellow’s response was, “Probably because you two are the only fools at this table who are married.

OK, have at it.


Blogger Uncle Walt said...

I once tried a beard, too. I refer to it as my "mountain man phase", because I also was into flannel shirts. Liked the flannel shirts, didn't like the beard.

Still have a moustache, because otherwise I think I look too young. I do hate it touching my lip, though.

You forgot to mention shaving mugs and brushes, prior to "shaving creme in a can".

btw - old houses have those razor disposals, unless they've had a bathroom remodel.

5:47 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

Have at what, Guy? Seems quite normal to me. Heh.

6:24 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

I agree with you on the 3 blade system. I've tried the others and they weren't as good for some reason.

For the record, I don't shave my face.

6:58 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Why would I take a pot shot at you? I have my own neuroses - I just don't go public with them.
Re: my future (fantasy?) visit to Astoria - if we meet, we will graciously nod to one another as the Japanese do. No touching!

7:14 AM  
Blogger Jaggy said...

I guess dancing with Mr. Guy is out... *sigh*

7:29 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Jaggy......just that mental image of Guy dancing has made my morning !!!!

And Guy, what a post! 6 comments before 730AM !!!!

7:32 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Walt, I've opened up a few and found a massive pile of rust. And yes I've used a brush before, but they can get skanky real quick.

Lori, Many people share one or two of my particular neurosis, but when you put them all together into a collection, Auntie,Mo3 and anonymous folks who comment on the local forums love to shiv me.

Syd, I know all about what you shave ; )

Beth, You'd get a hug. You are special to me.

Jaggy, I am over six-feet tall, I'm over 200 lbs and I'm Caucasian, I and others fitting this description should always be exempt from dancing.

Auntie, go figure...

7:55 AM  
Blogger weese said...

I am still using a double. My method of picking a razor was to find the one with the least expensive refills. I selected a mens razor because the women's models were ridiculous.I could care less about the soft handle or the added scented pre-lotioned pad poised next to the blades ...sheesh. Sometimes I am extravagant and buy the .99 cent shave cream.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Mike S said...

Yup, I DO share a couple of those. I've a beard and long hair at present, had the beard most all the time for decades. I trim the 'stash' to keep it off my lip & outta the food. SWMBO says I've gotta wait until spring & go outside to trim the beard, claims I probably got critters in it now despite regular showers(about 9" long & bushy). I HATE shaving & don't own a razor of any type:)

11:50 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Weese, you must try t triple blade. Best part is they outlast all the others.

Mike, you're starting to sound like a fisher poet. Got vomit?

4:57 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

Okay, I think it's officially time to rename yourself as "The OCD Guy Who Writes This."

I think it really is.

10:03 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

There, that's what I was waiting for. I knew it was coming...

5:54 AM  
Blogger Stephen Roberts said...

Shaving creams should not just have a soothing and relaxing effect on one's skin but shaving creams should also nourish the skin like a water to a plant.

8:36 AM  

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