Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Horney People


I’ve never been a horn honker. In fact, I’d be hard pressed to find the horn on my truck if I ever needed it. There are people who honk their horn every time they drive by my house. I know it’s usually one of three persons doing it. I’ve tried to get them to stop, but they are just honkers by nature, so be it

I have another friend who blew her horn so often that it ended up squirting out this multi tonal squawk that sounded like a goose was being horribly choked. Eventually her horn went silent so she bought a new car. She seems to no longer abuse her new horn as she had with her former appendage.

I believe the Pacific Northwest is more polite in regards to horn use. I’ve driven through most of the larger cities and have been stuck in traffic on many freeways, but it isn’t often when people honk. New York and Boston, however are different stories. I sometimes wondered if people were broadcasting Morse code messages. Horns back there are essential communication devices. You can hear the subtle difference between a “Hey, how are you” and a “You Dirty Rat Bastard Mutha F….er”

I theorize it is the difference between the heritages of the population. Many of the people on the East Coast come from generations of passionate people from warm climates, Mediterranean especially, where here most people seem to come from colder, less passionate, more conservative climates.

Though I live many miles away from the Columbia, sometimes on a foggy night I can hear the fog horns of the ships on the river. The ships should have a radar array that is good enough to see anything around them, yet they still blow their horns. I have to wonder if it is really necessary, or is the Captain is of warm blooded stock who just hast to make the announcement, “Ay Douche bag, I’m coming through, get the frig out of my way or I’ll blow this horn up your ass!”

10 Comments:

Blogger Jaggy said...

In the (has it really been that long?) almost ten years I've been driving, I've never used my horn. Never. I don't use "hand signals" or mean looks either. No point in setting off Mr. Road-Rage-Extraordinare. And I really don't appreciate being honked at either.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Far too much honking of horns these days in my neck of the woods (or pavement of the roads) - and it's due to that phenomenon of road rage. These are not friendly sounds I'm hearing - and they're not directed at me! (I don't think...)

7:42 AM  
Blogger weese said...

I only use my horn to warn of impending danger... and this is pretty rare.
I have used it to get someone to notice that I am right behind them when they are backing up, once I used it to warn a parent, whose head had turned, of a wandering child - i try to just tap it... little honks.
really... what more is necessary.
(it makes my son nuts when i don't beep at people lingering at a green light. i figure... they'll go when they can)

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Horn? There's a horn on cars and trucks?? Really??? Damn...what will they think of next...turn indicators??

I used to be a locomotive engineer. Now there's a horn. I wonder why they don't put turn indicators on trains...

Moose...going back to sleep in the snowbank now.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I use the horn. I use it a lot. Sometimes I'll even just keep on during an entire drive just to see people look at me with that curious wincing expression. I like to be heard, oh yeah, want people to know Im in the area. Sometimes it's fun only to blow it to catch people off guard, though. Like driving through the town of Gearhart along the streets that border the golf course. When a golfer is on the tee and just starting to come down out of his backswing..."HONNNNNNNK HONK HONK!!"! It causes a rapid loss of concentration and usually a muffed shot! Oh ho! great fun!
And have you ever noticed the way pedestrians jump when they hear a good loud honk? Next time you're stopped at a light and people are crossing in the crosswalk just lay on that mighty decibal producing blaster and watch the jerking, twithching and headsnapping reactions.

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous #2
You reminded me of a time when a friend and I, bored during our lunch hour, drove around the City of Astoria waving at complete strangers like we knew them, and every one of them waved back like they REALLY knew us! Especially those stuffy types in suits. We both have a very offbeat sense of humor so found this pretty funny.

Horn honking.....definately! Not when I'm angry...okay, once in a while when I'm angry...trying to get on or off the turnaround in Astoria and I come across Washington drivers who don't know how to maneuver the turnaround or completely fail to read the signage about yielding to oncoming traffic, almost taking me and my passengers out of commission. Honking then? Absolutely!

No finger flipping any more though.

1:09 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Notice the horn blowers reply anonymously, except Moose head, I'm sure his roots are in the lower 50 maybe Brooklyn. The rest of us are polite ; )

4:22 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

Okay the big ships are talking to each other. There saying, I'm bigger than you get the hell outa the way, I can see the bridge from my back windows and when I first moved to Astoria I had to ask my Husband (former shipyard worker) at 3am "is he doing that just to piss me off?". I try not to use the car horn though, unless I'm about to get hit.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Crowbar said...

While visiting friends on the island of Maui a few years ago, I was warned to never use the car horn. Apparently it's use is considered extemely rude there, and can even lead to an altercation.

Try driving in Manhattan without using one though.

1:19 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Denise, those fog horns get old really fast.

Crowbar, having driven in both places I'd agree. Horns are really abused in NY, Boston and Philly.

5:29 PM  

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