Horney People

I’ve never been a horn honker. In fact, I’d be hard pressed to find the horn on my truck if I ever needed it. There are people who honk their horn every time they drive by my house. I know it’s usually one of three persons doing it. I’ve tried to get them to stop, but they are just honkers by nature, so be it

I have another friend who blew her horn so often that it ended up squirting out this multi tonal squawk that sounded like a goose was being horribly choked. Eventually her horn went silent so she bought a new car. She seems to no longer abuse her new horn as she had with her former appendage.

I believe the Pacific Northwest is more polite in regards to horn use. I’ve driven through most of the larger cities and have been stuck in traffic on many freeways, but it isn’t often when people honk. New York and Boston, however are different stories. I sometimes wondered if people were broadcasting Morse code messages. Horns back there are essential communication devices. You can hear the subtle difference between a “Hey, how are you” and a “You Dirty Rat Bastard Mutha F….er”

I theorize it is the difference between the heritages of the population. Many of the people on the East Coast come from generations of passionate people from warm climates, Mediterranean especially, where here most people seem to come from colder, less passionate, more conservative climates.

Though I live many miles away from the Columbia, sometimes on a foggy night I can hear the fog horns of the ships on the river. The ships should have a radar array that is good enough to see anything around them, yet they still blow their horns. I have to wonder if it is really necessary, or is the Captain is of warm blooded stock who just hast to make the announcement, “Ay Douche bag, I’m coming through, get the frig out of my way or I’ll blow this horn up your ass!”