Monday, May 04, 2009

Sick Day XXVI

I am sick of the self appointed safety police. Everyone knows someone that is like that. They were probably Safety Patrol kids in grade school and now as adults they lecture about what you should keep on hand in the event of an emergency. When they pop the trunk of their cars they are better equipped than most emergency responders. They have gas masks, radiation badges, flairs and a snake bite kit among a warehouse of medical supplies. I bet some carry the Jaws of Life in their trunks as well.

They send out emails on what to do if you are having a heart attack while driving or info they just downloaded from the Homeland Security site. They can often be seen directing traffic at crash scenes before the emergency responders get there. They use their portable scanners just so they don’t miss a single one.

I know they want to save the world and maybe get a free coffee in Heaven, but they need to leave me the hell alone. Yes, I know I am supposed to have a blade guard on my table saw, but many cuts I make won’t work with a guard. If I hurt myself you can nominate me for a Darwin Award; I’d be OK with that. I know all the stupid things I do and I know the potential consequences.

Companies don’t need weekly safety talks, nor do they need safety committees. These things waste time and money. People that behave unsafely deserve what they get. It’s called natural selection and it is a good way to cull the stupid people from your payroll. Sure your insurance premiums may go up a bit, but you’ll eventually have a smarter workforce.


Blogger darev2005 said...

I'm all for natural selection. That's why when the subject of gun control pops up, I always espouse the theory that everybody should be required to carry one. In short order the stupid and unlucky would be dead and the rest could get on with their lives. The Brits have gone so safety gonzo that clowns can no longer wear big shoes because they might trip. Pretty soon people in britain will no longer be allowed to leave their homes and they will all have personal air bags in case they get too close to something that might hurt them. Walking down stairs will become an extreme sport. We are becoming a people ruled by the fear of something that might happen. It is weakening us as a species. The survival instinct is being weeded out of us as a race. To hell with blade guards and safety switches and stop signs and speed limits!

8:31 AM  
Blogger Uncle Walt said...

rev ---

You are aware the Brits are putting padding on lamppoles and mailboxes, aren't you?

Too many people getting injured walking into things while talking on cell phones.

Seriously. No joke.

3:13 PM  
Blogger g said...

i am the safety coordinator at work.

weekly safety meetings yes.
monthly safety committee meetings yes.

safety pays.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

I was the safety NCO at my last military unit. I made sure everyone made it to the NCO club after work without fail. Our program received an "Outstanding" at the last IG inspection I went through.

8:30 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Darev, Arrrrr!

Walt, and the only reason for the lamp post is to support their spy cameras.

g, so you like working with stupid people?

Lori, Please tell me you now see it as a joke.

5:10 AM  
Blogger g said...

it keeps osha happy.

in my industry, most if not all companies have a safety program. our company has an excellent safety track record.

i could go on but there are a lot of safety practices / programs that actually help our work force stay safe.

5:29 PM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

I saw it as a joke then - I'm sure there were things we could do to be safe, but we just wanted to go tip a few brews.

6:47 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

g, you should pray for safety.

Lori, good girl ;)

7:38 AM  

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