Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Real Me

Sometimes I can’t believe my own ears. OK, I was driving to Astoria one evening this week and I drive by a friend standing in her driveway. I see this person ever few months or so and it’s been about six months since I last saw her so I turn around and went back for a short visit.

Now this person reads this blog every morning. She is usually one of the first three here every morning, though she has never commented. I don’t mind that she doesn’t comment. It’s nice knowing she reads and that she is in touch with what I’m doing and thinking.

I’ve been to gatherings with this woman. I’ve visited her in her office on several occasions. She has always been very kind and generous with me. She will always come up to say hi if she sees me in the grocery store. We’ve talked about many of my articles together.

OK, here’s the weird thing. While visiting in her driveway she actually asked me if all the stuff I write in this blog is true. She wanted to know if I am a quirky as I portray myself to be. I was in her driveway with my dirty truck ; with an Eminem CD playing; with composting hay in the truck bed. At first I couldn’t believe she was asking this after all the chats we’ve had over the past two years, but upon later reflection I realized that there are probably a lot of readers out there that think I’m making all this stuff up.

I think it’s time I come clean and tell all you doubters out there that yes, it’s all true. If anything, I understate my quirks and my wayward activities.

P.S. I was driving Auntie and Silent Bob to the Crabs Festival yesterday because they didn't want to ride the shuttle buses like commoners. Anyway, Auntie gets in the truck and immediately says, "I can't believe you are listening to rap. How old are you anyway?" So I turn it way down so that it was nearly silent and when we get by the Fair Grounds asks, "Is that Eminem you're listening to?" Now how did she know it was Eminem when the volume was so low that one could barely hear it? I bet she's a closet listener.


Blogger darev2005 said...

Heck, I knew it was you. I have a spy in your camp who sends me regular reports. She should be bringing you a book this weekend, by the way. And I know this will get me into trouble, but I'm sure Auntie has more closets than Liberace.

6:41 AM  
Blogger g said...

i figured the only thing that wasn't true was you listening to rap.

i still don't believe it.

5:07 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

I've never doubted that you are the person you portray here, albeit a person with many more dimensions than we see.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Believe it, G. And no, I am not closet listener. I heard some bad white boy rap (thanks for turning it down, by the way) and the only bad white rap person I know is Eminem, or Marshal Mathers, I think his name is. It was just a co-incidence.

Thanks for the ride out there, by the way! Silent Bob and I had a great time.

7:20 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Darev, I saw your sister and she gave me the book, to which I said, "Your brother is an asshole!" She agreed, but told me the book has good recipes in it. Yes folks it is a Church Cookbook that Darev sent me.
Thanks Darev, really. That was nice of you to send. And yes I caught yous sister taking photos of me to send you.

g, that's OK, I still can't believe you are a Republican.

Donna, yeah, there is a lot of stuff I don't write about. I don't want to offend or frighten everyone. There's a circus going on in my brain.

Auntie, Don't forget Slim Shady. Did you catch any crabs at the crabs festival?

5:02 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Did, but I believe in catch and release.

6:35 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

Just because I'm an unscrupulous prick at work, everybody always assumes I have ulterior motives in everything I do. I merely flipped through the book and looked at the recipes and suddenly the clouds parted, there was a heavenly choir singing hosannas and a great voice said "Guy". Who am I to resist such urging? It was either that or the official scrabble players dictionary. Did I pick the wrong book?

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will send you photos of Darev, as soon as I warm up the computer they're on. You want the scary ones or the clenaed up by a professional ones?

7:44 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Auntie, you still hung over? Anybody puke on Jeff's boots?

Darev, the book is good, it was just the Church thing that got me.

CC,you are going to be on his shit list. Scary ones please.

7:52 AM  
Blogger g said...

guy: you and i should then trade hair.

you too can be guyoolio

1:08 PM  
Blogger dalia said...

i think you rock! quirks and all!

7:21 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

g, right now I'm Foolio.

Dalia, Thanks Darlin, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

5:15 AM  
Blogger Hahn at Home said...

I love Coolio. He's old schoolio though. Eminem is good. My oldest kid got me listening. Some of it I hate - especially the baby mama-beating, cop-killing kind. It's modern poetry mostly, in a fragmented, reflection of the world we live in today way.

6:55 AM  

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