The Laughter
I’m sure everyone has had a fit of uncontrollable laughter. I am talking about the kind of laughter that is so intense that you can’t catch your breath and it’s usually over the stupidest things.
The stage was set. It was around 5pm. I just finished the project I had been working on all day and I decided to sit down and drink some water. There was stillness in the air. There were no frogs croaking; there was no wind. The neighbors weren’t running lawn mowers, motorcycles or string trimmers. No dogs were barking; no guns were being shot. It was quiet; totally quiet like it was before I had neighbors.
As I sipped my water the silence was broken by one neighbor somewhere that shouted, seemingly in disbelief rather than anger, one word, “Asshole!”
Asshole is such a funny word when you think about. I mean, really, think about and to call oneself or someone else an asshole is just downright funny. I’m laughing as I write this and it happened six hours ago.
posted by The Guy Who Writes This at 4:00 AM
9 Comments:
hubby cooks, inevitably I hear.."ouch! that's hot!"....Duh, ever hear of a thing called a "potholder" I say, when just once I like to say that other word. I mean I learned that lesson when i was 14 and if I did it now I would say "a******" to myself.
funny tho'
loopy is as loopy does
Was it assHOLE or ASShole? I wonder if he heard you laughing and what he muttered next? Any way you got a good chuckle out of me this AM. 'Fish called Wanda' got a bit of millage out of that one too.
I heard a great term yesterday that I am still laughing about. I was talking about someone (jokingly of course) about being 'dumber than a box of rocks' when this person said, "He is even dumber than hammered shit".
I am still laughing about that one and probably will be for days.
Love those kind of laughs!
And love hearing about what set you off!
Something similar happened to me one day at work. I had walked into one of the wings to do something (at this point I can't remember what) and it was pretty quiet. They were all in their apres' lunch torpor. Then I heard someone shout "Don't put your finger in there, stupid! It's going to get stuck again!" A laugh hit the back of my throat so hard that it stung and I ran out of the wing, through the sally port and outside before I let it burst into full bloom. I sat at the break table and laughed until I cried and then giggled like a loon for several more minutes. I never did make it back in there to do what it was I was going to do, for every time I went in that wing that day I started giggling again. Whenever that happens to me, Vinnie just looks at me and shakes his head and says "You do get tickled, sometimes."
Auntie, I hope you weren't talking about me!
That word always brings back a funny memory.
I was still working my day job and a produce broker was to stop by the farm during the day to look over 600 pounds of shallots that we had in totes.
I sat down with my son, Sparkplug, and lined him out on how to deal with the guy and how to make the sale. Sparkplug was 9 then.
The guy shows up and appeared to be in a bad mood, picking up onions, making rude comments and throwing them back in the totes.
Finally he asked a question Sparkplug couldn't answer, so he told the guy to wait and went into the barn and called me at work.
"Dad, this guy is really rude and throws shallots. I don't know what to say to him." Sparkplug said.
I replied, "Send him down the road! We'll sell them to someone else. Sparkplug, we don't have to deal with people like that. I'd rather dump the onions and compost them than work within a relationship like that. Send him down the road."
When I got home that night Sparkplug said that the guy got really mad when he sent him away emptyhanded.
2 years later I ran into the broker and he told me that when Sparkplug emerged from the barn, he boldly walked up to him and said, "Sorry, we won't be selling you any onions today."
"WHAT?!!! Why?!!!" asked the broker.
Sparkplug looked him right straight in the face and said, "My dad says we don't deal with assholes!"
Loopy, The benefits of maturity.
Anon, there wasn't emphasis on either root, it was simply ASSHOLE.
Auntie, good one.
Beth what sets you off?
Darev, see there is a lot of humor in the big house.
Jeff, were you wearing the boots?
Gearhead, great story. So what do you call your daughter?
The laughter to tears effect. I don't have them too often.
I remember when my son was 7, I used to cut his hair with an electric razor. One morning I forgot to put on the guard that keeps you from cutting too short and accidentally balded him in a spot, the size of a quarter.
T-Jay cried and cried, he didn't want to go to school like that, but I told him that he had to go since I had to leave for work.
That afternoon I asked him if any of the kids said anything about his bald spot.
He told me that he went into my desk and got out a brown magic marker and colored the spot in. Nobody noticed.
I laughed so hard that I cried.
Then I had to explain that I wasn't really crying.
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