Thursday, December 31, 2009

My Predictions for 2010



As I look into my crystal ball I can see the future of many of those that replied to my blog posts over the last year. Here goes:

Ann Samuelson will start a line of inspirational self-help books and motivational posters.

Dalia will find the perfect winter boots in May.

Auntie will build a still out in the garden shed and make blackberry alcohol.

Mo3 will get sick of dogs and put them all up for adoption.

Darev will become a prison shop teacher.

Joni will let me know when the Bradwood Landing cigarette lighters are ready for the SWAG bag.

Tango will be thankful she never got involved with PT Cruisers because Tattoos are a bitch to remove.

Meadowlark will re-enlist in the Marines as the Captain of the bakery.

Donna will get a show on RFD-TV.

Critter will adopt a cougar that wants to eat her husband’s head.

Jaggy will convert to traditional Mormonism and she'll live a life of polygamy, except she will have three husbands and no sister wives.

Blue Mamba will get married if she ever stops driving the loop long enough to receive a proposal.

Heather will finish watching Bliss and finish reading that other book.

Syd will have her sister committed and take custody of TLF.

RichPix will move back to Astoria and become the staff photographer for Bradwood Landing.

Jeff will donate his ugly boots to a charity auction and buy them back for $1.55.

Trop will buy a share in a NASCAR racer. She will own a 10k steering wheel.

CB will get a rubber suit so she can bounce back up the next time she falls or gets tossed out of a meeting.

Beth will go to back to school and learn the trade of pest exterminator and a she'll get a degree in home repair.

g will get the contract to build the Walmart in Warrenton and the Daily Astorian will begin smearing him again because Walmart doesn’t do any print ads.

Lori Hahn will move to Astoria and date people Auntie and I advise her not to.

Amy will move to the UK and will sadly miss Texas after only two weeks.

Weese will move to Long Island, grow big hair and buy a Jaguar.

Moose will become famous for drinking binges, playing practical jokes on everyone and messing with women from South America...Oh wait, he already does all of those things. I suppose he will continue doing all that again this year.

25 Comments:

Blogger Donna said...

RFD TV? Let me tune up my guitar and write a couple of songs! I know I won't be doing any horse-training shows.

4:35 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Hey - it's possible! And I shall make (save?) big, big bucks!

Happy New Year to you!

5:09 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

And Guy will give up his rap cd's and go back to more traditional music, perhaps Lawrence Welk.

5:40 AM  
Blogger Tango said...

Ha, ain't that the truth :) Sure am glad I didn't get one when I owned that Pinto.

5:44 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

I think I'm going to have to disagree with that one. Not gonna happen. I can't even teach them to shut their cake holes.


veri word: juntl- a kinder, gentler military ruling class.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

You shouldn't give me ideas.

6:56 AM  
Blogger richpix said...

In 2010 the Guy will become the official spokesblogger for the Fisher Poets Gathering

Veriword--
subtl: a silent "e" is very subtl

7:44 AM  
Blogger lhahn said...

In a quest to be one with her new people, Lori will date the indigenous women of NW Oregon. She will get serious with one who turns out to be a tribal chief and who will buy all the land surrounding Guy's place and build a casino.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Ann Samuelson said...

Sounds like you've got a pretty big crystal ball!!!

11:12 AM  
Blogger Auntie said...

Guy will get his truck bronzed because it will finally DIE!

Guy will decide rap music is not for him and will only listen to music played on the theramin

Guy will see the worth in potlucks and attend a few, sending some people into shock requiring medical treatment.

Guy and Auntie will welcome Lori and are already lining up NW women for her.

And finally, Guy will go off the deep end, sell his horses, trade them in for a big mess of pitbull mix dogs, buy some guns and start his own commune. Where he eats in front of people

Happy Hols, Guy. We lurv ya!


VW= "ation" : the ending to whole bunches of words.

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Vern Johnson said...

The conclusion of a lengthy and thorough investigation by federal authorities will reveal that Josh Marquis is prolific serial cat strangler.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

Auntie, what wonderful predictions for Guy!

4:35 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Donna, I was thinking an all around agriculture, music and cooking show for you.

Beth, I have faith in you.

Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, ain't gonna happen, but I will let you know if it does.

Tango, I'm waiting for the Astoria-Rust tattoo.

Darve, but you will be able to wield sharp instruments.

Syd, go ahead, you know you want to, besides everyone will be happier.

Rich, I already am since no one else writes about it.

Lori, with neighbor lights already left on 24 hours a day I wonder if I'd notice the difference.

Ann, Glad you didn't make plural.

Auntie, I shiver at the thought of each, however #1 may be correct.

Vern, I see you are gearing up for the 2010 election season.

Donna, don't encourage her.

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two out of three ain't bad...never was much of a drinker. 2010 resolution...work on becoming better at drinking...

2010 prediction: Guy will come out of the blog closet and run for mayor of Astoria and win on a platform of an outhouse equipped with a natural gas outlet for every home

Moose

ousnohes: Blowing snot to the windward side

6:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, had to care for a young mountain lion for over a month and will never ever do it again.

Large cats are totally stupid pets to have.

Now a great dane, I would really like a great dane.

columbiacritter

7:45 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I damn well know I would miss Texas.....LOL Well, maybe not Texas, per se, but the food.....omg.
I ned to become one of those independently wealthy snowbirds.

(WV = bumemumm. Sometims, I just click the commnt box just to see my bizarre WVs)

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Joni said...

Guy will become independently wealthy by selling the best eggs in Clatsop County from his vermin-proof hen house.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Jaggy said...

Mr. Guy, I can barely handle having one husband. You're predicting I'll have three?!

Too funny...

11:01 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Moose, I'm totally out of politics these days and I live in the unincorporated area so I can't run for office in town. Besides I'd only bring problems, not solutions.

Critter, Can't get enough of that big stinky dog smell in your life, eh?

Amy, You can still cook it, but you may have a hard time getting the proper ingredient mix over seas.

Joni, thanks for your confidence. See the post later this week.

Jaggy, they will serve you as the goddess that you are.

5:42 AM  
Blogger g said...

If I get a chance to build Walmart, I will be a hero in Brownsmead. My neighbors can't wait!

2:11 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Yeah, right.

6:14 AM  
Anonymous dalia said...

hilarious! i found a good pair, but they're busted already... the ones i want are 400 bucks, so you're probably right... by may they will be available on deep discount!

good lookin' out!

(and happy new year, to you!)

xo

9:17 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Dalia, Ha!

5:22 AM  
Blogger weese said...

that would be
Lohnguyland.
...working on big hair.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Trop said...

How did you know that I want to be a decal on Ryan Newman's #39 Chevrolet? Sadly, I think it will take way more than $10K.

6:43 AM  

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