Friday, February 11, 2011

Bad Beer

I went out for a beer with some friends after a meeting last night. It's a new tradition for me which keeps me out past my bed time, but what the hay... Anyway we ended up at a local brew pub with a very creative menu. I love the names they come up with for their distinctive brews; each one exposing very different flavors. Having tasted a few I think what we need is a pub that names their products for what they really taste like.

The brewers are on a constant mission to experiment with new flavors and combination. The beer I had could have easily been named, Dirty Sock because it tasted like came from sweat and smelly gym socks. I couldn't finish my pint and I rinsed my mouth with mouthwash as soon as I got home. I could still taste it when I woke up this morning. Though I've had coffee and breakfast bubbles of this awful swill are still rising from my stomach.

So if there is a brew pub out there that is hiring a brew-namer, I'm your man. Here are some titles I can bring to the table for your worst tasting beers:

Scut Bucket Porter
Horse Piss Pilsner
Infected Gums Red Ale
Potato Chip Fart Light Ale
Dirty Diaper Draft
Nasty Discharge Lager
Bowl Winder Bock
Diesel Fume Stout
Pink Eye IPA
Astoria Rust Golden Ale


Blogger mark said...

Hey bartender, I'll have a pint of that Astoria Rust Golden Ale. And bring some chips and salsa, too.

7:51 AM  
Blogger darev2005 said...

A few years ago we went to Alabama on vacation and when we got there I thought I'd buy a six of some of the local brew and give it a try. In the little gas station store I found a pack of this stuff called "Dead Guy Ale" with a picture of a skeleton in a Robinson Crusoe hat. Thought that sounded good and when i got it back to the room and looked at the box I discovered it was brewed in Portland, Ore! Oh well, it was good stuff anyway. And there wasn't so much as a hint of dead guy in the taste.

8:06 AM  
Blogger mark said...

PS: Next time you're in Utah, try some Polygamy Porter. No, I'm not kidding.

7:22 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Mark it would taste like galvanized pipes.

Darev, it makes me want to grow hops again. I could sell it locally.

Mark, I thought Utah was a dry state. Regardless, I've been there once and don't plan to return.

7:19 AM  

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