I Just Don't Get It

There are several things I still don't understand in the modern world we live in.  Here are some of them:

1. Beer.  Sure I can understand the joys of having an occasional beer on a hot summer day or with an occasional pizza, but how people worship this beverage to the point buying cases of it or not being able to go a day without bellying up to a bar to suck down several glasses of this often bitter brew is beyond me.

2. Bagpipes.  This is the instrument of awful dirges and why anyone would want this raspy crap played at a funeral is beyond me.

3. Neil Diamond. Growing up in the 60's his music was considered douchy at best, and was regarded right up there with Kate Smith and Andy Williams.

4. Golf.  The best thing I have ever heard about it is that it is a nice way to watch good weather on TV, or that is a good way to ruin a nice walk.  How one can consider dressing like a golfer and being an athlete while doing so is beyond me.

5. European love for Elvis. Granted he was groundbreaking in his early days, but he became a parody of himself as time went on ending up as a bit of an American embarrassment when he joined Nixon's war on drugs and eventually died straining on a stool from being constipated caused by his drug addiction. I constantly heard Elvis being played in chip shops in York and in other shops in London and Bath and Glastonbury.  We met a man and his two children in a garden in Wales and this man encouraged his children to ask us question as a cultural exchange and the first thing his five year old son asked us was if we have ever met Elvis. I don't get it.

6. Lima beans. Who the hell actually buys and eats them.  A friend once called lima beans the food of the anti-Christ.  I agree.

7. 70's music.  Sure we all have fond memories of the sound track of the times of which we grew up in, but seriously the music was actually really bad.  If you don't believe me, go back and listen to the Woodstock album.  The only highlight I can remember was Grace Slick shouting out "Good Morning People!".  Other than that it was a lot of noise that I care to never revisit again.