Aaaah...Saturday

Publication reading is one of my favorite things to do. If you have been paying attention you will remember that I look forward to the Friday edition of the Daily Astorian because of the Real Estate ads, and I also get a kick out of the letters to the editor. That is worth an article here someday. On Thursdays I look forward to the Weekend Section. On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I can only hope that either the new Hipfish or Columbia River Business Journal comes out.

I also look forward to Fridays because that is the day the Capital Press shows up in my mail box, but I never read it on Friday. I save that for Saturday and Sunday which are my paperless days. I have long given up on Sunday papers since they are just big attempts at marketing. They are 500 pages of ads and unless you have a need of seeing the comics in color and in a larger format or want to clip coupons, the Sunday paper is a waste of recycled paper and ink.

So I have the Daily A five days a week, and the Capital press on Saturday and Sunday. I was recently thinking that I should revive an old game that I used to play every Saturday. I don't know why I stopped playing, but this is the way it used to be.

On Saturday, I used to get a copy of the Oregonian, and hunker down in silence with a large cup of coffee. I unplug the phone, turn off the radio. I would search for the only thing that makes the Oregonian worth reading. Yes, that right. It’s the weekly ugly bride and groom contest. Most of the photos don’t make the cut, but I have yet to find a Saturday without a winning couple. It never seems marginal. There is always a "vomit in the face" winner.

I went out early last Saturday to get my very own copy of the Oregonian. The ritual was easy to bring back. No phone, no radio, lots of coffee, no interuptions. I stuck my face into the paper. I paged through it entirely, and than entirely again. There were no brides and grooms to be found anywhere? Did they switch days? Did they stop the competition all together? I am at a loss, and my fellow readers, as are you. There would have been wagering!