Friday, July 14, 2006


OK, this week we've discussed changing a bunch of things, now let's change the calendar. Why do we still go by a twelve-month calendar instead of a 13-month calendar? Do you know that if we used a 13 month year, every month would have 28 days? Every month the days of the week would fall on the same dates. Women would be able to keep better track of their menstrual cycle. The lunar phases would be in sync with our months. It would be easier to tell when our lunatic friends will be acting up. Again, and again, and again.

Why don’t we, here in Dried Salmon County, pioneer the 13 month calendar? We would be able to name the 13th month…let’s call it Dried Salmon and if you happened to be born between the present dates of December 4th and December 31st, you will have the honor of being able to say “I was born in Dried Salmon. By the way, Christmas will fall on Dried Salmon 22nd. Don’t worry, I did the math. It works.

So if we are going to go through all this trouble of adding an extra month to the year, how about if we take it one step further. How about if we make the new year start on the day after the winter solstice? That would make New Years on what is now December 22. Christmas would now be on January 4th and you would have Dried Salmon as your month of birth if you were born between November 24 and December 21st. Don’t worry, I did the math and it works.

One more thing before I move on…, standard time and day light savings time. Why don’t we split the difference and set our clocks a half-hour between the both and call it Dried Salmon Time.


Blogger Brownie said...

Not to alarm you, but did you know that the Mayan Calandar, which has existed for over a thousand years, ends in the correlated western year of A.D. 2012?

Just a thought.

7:43 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

No, I didn't know that. We have six years to renew that contract with time.

7:49 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

And I've always wanted to say this, You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie!

There, now I can move on...

7:53 AM  
Blogger NursePam said...

Dude! That's brilliant. But if it's going to mess up my computer, I just can't have it.

7:09 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

It will be as easy as the Y2K patch. Remember that?

8:28 AM  

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