Monday, September 11, 2006

Guns and Hoses


I have a dear friend who seems to be obsessed with guns. No I’m not going to scold her because I used to be the same way. I don’t know what turned the gun switch on for me when I was a kid, but by the age of 18 I owned some serious firepower. From flint locks to WWII weapons, handguns to shot guns.

I didn’t come from a gun family. We did have an LC Smith 12 gauge that my uncle left to my mother when he died. It sat in a case in the closet until I was old enough to use it.

One day in my early 20’s I came to realize that I’ve never done anything good with a gun. I wasn’t even sure it was possible to do anything good with a gun. Also, I have never been in a situation where a gun would have come in handy.

As for hunting, the expense of getting free meat was pretty expensive and the meat was never that good. Venison is dry and grey. Rabbits and squirrels are rodents. Birds are generally small and you have to constantly remove shot while eating them.

So one day I gave all my guns away and I haven’t looked back. Thinking back I should have destroyed them all.

Oddly I now spend more time in the woods than I did when I hunted. I see bow hunters earnestly hunting and I respect that, but those who hunt with guns out here never get out of their trucks. They drive the logging roads looking for prey. You lazy bastards! Is that what you call hunting? Those are the only times I wish I had a gun so I could shoot out your tires, and get you to hunt the way you are supposed to. Maybe if they had to do it the way they were supposed to, they wouldn’t do it at all, and that would be fine with me. Fewer assholes with loaded weapons would make the world a better place.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A tradionalists friend of mine wanted to borrow my gun to shoot a bird for its feathers...i said..."if I was God, I would have armed the animals."...he said..."does that mean no?"

8:38 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I'm curious to what your definition of "Traditionalists" is. If it's what I'm thinking they usually have lots of guns within an arms reach (unintended pun).

One can find amazing feathers at a sporting shop that sells supplies for making fishing lures. Some fabric shops have feathers as well.

8:55 AM  
Blogger KOOLAIDDRINKINKID said...

Iwas a economically depressed kid growin up in Mc minnville, Oregon, we lived in a trailer, my dad was an alcoholic at the time- backyard was a motor cycle track- went to school dropped off in a 78 corrolla nicknamed "dimples" he hunted- often had "fryed grouse" in the lunch box- went huntin with the old man once- sitting u'neath the pine tree blasted the fuck out some pigeons, ate them too.. I sat on the steps of the trailer and had clean them, and or remove an occasional "craw" if it was the grouse. I own a rifle now but rarely use it- If ya need a good gun you can pick one up at the 53 market. Out the 26

10:21 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Kool, Dude, don't you sleep? I opened my mail this morning and saw a dozen replies to archived articles. Either you love to write or it's mushroom season in Oregon again.

Either way, welcome to Astoria Rust.

I don't know if there is such a thing as a good gun.

10:49 AM  
Blogger KOOLAIDDRINKINKID said...

Yeah like to write, Which seems to be coming together for me a lot more lately. Which is composed formulated and created. Really been onto Alexander POPE lately. This is a good post- no dry rot. knock on wood.. Koolaiddrinkinkid

11:52 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Eeewww...poetry, at least he has smartass written in all his stuff.

Now, seriously, you should be writing your blog. Get to work.

Guy

12:04 PM  
Blogger KOOLAIDDRINKINKID said...

now theres a great idea- did ya lose yer gas can in the loop? Its good stuff. Nothin short of wadin through smileys with the pocket edition- tryin to get to pike place to pass the buck.

1:07 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

OK Dude, you are rambling incoherently now. Knock off the shrooms.

2:28 PM  
Blogger KOOLAIDDRINKINKID said...

I don't use drugs not even aspirin- just eat organic foods and whole milk- fell off the truck somewhere up green mountain road was inducted by abductees bounced corks through the upper headwaters and wrote an epic kesey woulda been proud of.

2:53 PM  
Blogger KOOLAIDDRINKINKID said...

Signing Off--EDWARD R MURROW ON AVE L SOUTH OF HOUSTON

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

koolaid

Are you OK? Sounds like you are tripping on something.
PS: you don't make any sense!
Whole milk is not good for you.

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Advocates of colonic irrigation products of dubious benefit use scarelore like the examples quoted above to indict the American "goo and glue" diet and validate their claim that the practice is a safe and effective means of curing a variety of ailments by purging the body of all sorts of sludge and toxins. Vegetarian groups employ this horror story to demonstrate that a meat-based diet is both unnatural and unhealthy for human beings. Hence stories circulate about alleged post-mortem discoveries that celebrities (such as John Wayne and Elvis Presley) who epitomized the "meat and potatoes" diet, gluttony, or other negative eating habits had some tremendous amount (40, 60, or even 80 pounds) of "impacted fecal matter" or "impacted feces" lodged in their
intestines.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Thank sir, may I have another?

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

glut‧ton2  /ˈglʌtn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[gluht-n] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun the wolverine, Gulo gulo, of Europe.


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[Origin: 1665–75; trans. of G Vielfrass, equiv. to viel much + frass eating, deriv. of fressen (of animals) to eat]

4:53 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Ahh, Syd, you aren't an asshole. I'd actually hire you to protect me.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

We have guns and bows and nothing has been kilt even when we lived in the middle of the forest. I am a Buddhist and a vegetarian, so it's up to hubby to kill, but I do love to use the bow for targets in the backyard.

He spent all this money on fishing stuff this year and my daughter was the only one who caught two fish.

11:55 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

This article, by the way, was not intended to be an anti gun article, but more of an anti asshole with guns article. The reason I gave up gun ownership was an concept that came to me as I moved away from my youth into a world of my own chosing which did not have room for weapons or what they represent to many.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Libra Litrou said...

Interesting stuff here.

Sincerely,

June
Libra Litrou

2:00 AM  

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