Friday, September 08, 2006

I Am But A Man


I am only a man. Yes, I put on the occasional tool belt. Yes, I make noise with power tools. Yes, I like to flip through channels on the television. Yes, I have a pick-up truck, however as far as men go I feel like I am very in-touch with my feminine side where I have the ability to gather and feather a nest. I don’t feel that I am any less a man over that sort of thing. I’m not even a metro-sexual. I don’t have “products”, and I don’t involve myself in fashion. I’m just a regular guy…

One thing I will never cross the line on is yogurt and cottage cheese. It is simple, men do not eat yogurt or cottage cheese. Sure I'll admit I experimented with it when I was a crazy kid in college, but those were the 70's.

If you ever meet someone who is sexually ambiguous, and you just can’t tell if they are a man or a woman, offer them a cup of yogurt. Your answer will clear, unless of course they don’t eat dairy.

So no matter how much I fight for women’s rights. No matter that I will gather rather than hunt. No matter how much I love and respect women. No matter how much financial and like-minded help I give for women’s causes I will never eat yogurt or cottage cheese. There are just some things a man shouldn’t be asked to do, ever.

6 Comments:

Anonymous MAN said...

Some men eat cottage cheese for health reasons....it helps to move your bowels when your constipated in some cases....

9:12 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Take a pill man! Don't compromise your manhood. It gets worse, check back and read tomorrows post. There is little hope.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

There is no questioning your manhood, Guy. Any man who is comfortable being an honorary lesbian is solidly in touch with his masculinity.

...or was that supposed to be just between us? ;)

11:00 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I'm still waiting for the formal induction, Syd. You said there'd be one.

11:04 AM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Have you a motorcycle yet?
NO????!!!!!!!
Go ahead and sneak some cottage cheese; we wont tell...

7:32 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

A donor cycle dosen't make you a man. A backhoe makes makes you a man...and I don't have one of those yet either...

6:09 AM  

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