Adjusting Chiropractors

OK, I’ve had it up to here (holding my hand high above my head) with Chiropractors. I know you’ve spent a great deal of time learning things of anatomy and physiology, but I really think that’s it.

I do understand that they have some sort of advanced learning which entitles them to be called Doctor, or Chiropractic Physician but their understanding of anything medical stops at knowing the anatomy and physiology. Chiropractic is a practice of faith rather than science.

So what provokes my tirade? I was listening to “To Your Health” last week and Ann was interviewing a chiropractor who was trying to sell some snake oil and she, the guest, kept saying that you really need to check with your medical doctor before going on the regiment. So, what this tells me that she is a dumb shit who is trying to cover her ass from malpractice because she has no idea of what her snake oil really does.

If she were a real medical practitioner she would know exactly how her snake oil would react with other medicines and other conditions in the body. She probably does understand that by adding one thing the equation changes, but she is too lazy to find out what these things are and how to do anything about it. If you are treating medical conditions it is your duty to know what you are doing, just like if you drive a truck, it is your duty to know how to drive it.

I once had a recurring injury. I knew that taking it easy would get me back to normal in about five days. One time it happened again I decided to go to a chiropractor to see what they could do. He made it so the pain stayed with me for months. One day I had enough and canceled all future appointments. Five days later I was all better.

I know so many people who have really bought into the Wo Wo circuit, hook, line and "shrinker." (A Zappa quote) They start with a chiropractor and are then sent to the acupuncturist. Then they go to the herbalist, then to the massage therapist and reflexologist. Somehow the really special clients end up with the astrologist and the tea leaf readers. I’m sorry to all the folks who believe, but you are all being taken.

They probably have you on all sorts of supplements, which are expensive and your insurance will not pay for them; all you need to do is eat better. Everything in those snake oil pills is available naturally in one food or another. Eat a balanced diet and save your money.

Fortunately, our bodies are resilient and can recover, most of the time, from chiropractic manipulation and the nutritional supplements that are over prescribed. When a medical physician makes an error those effects are life altering if not life ending. This is because they are working with the real cause and reaction. This is where knowledge is most important because they are dealing with life and death.

Chiropractors do know their anatomy and physiology, and I will give them that. People who understand the body on that level deserve a Ph.D if they advance that science, but that is where their understanding stops and that is where they should be stopped. They shouldn’t be allowed to touch anyone. They should be able to teach biology and perhaps be expert witnesses, or even consult medical physicians. They could work with prosthetics, but they should not be manipulating a living human spine or prescribing supplements.

There is an odd balance that a physician once told me about. She said, “Sometimes I’m absolutely amazed what injury and abuse the human body can survive and I’m equally amazed that a baby will sometimes die just sleeping in its crib, or that someone will die after cutting their finger.”