Tuesday, January 09, 2007

A History of Geography


It is so funny how people will often be attracted to live somewhere without regards to the geographic memory that the locals have. There is a rather new development in Astoria called something like Eagle Ridge. Yes, you too can plunk down several hundred thousand dollars and have the locals say, “Oh, you live off the Dump Road.” You may correct them by saying that your street spurs off of Williamsport Road, but they will continue calling it the Dump Road. At this point the home owner should resign and accept the fact that they live off the Dump Road.

The people in one area of Lewis and Clark have long ago come to accept the idea that they live in Pig Pen Crossing. I’m sure people living off the Dump Road will one day accept and own their geography as well.

There are a lot of content people living in Boring Oregon. They’ve come to terms. I’m sure I’d come to terms with where ever I moved. I always though it funny that the area where I live was once known as Melleville. There was a sign in Seaside that pointed to Melleville up till about five years ago. Sure, it isn't Snotville or anything like that, but still.

One thing I don’t think I could deal with is a really long street name. I was once in a town that that was settled mostly by Polish and Russian immigrants. There, they named several streets after the town’s fallen soldiers. Streets were tagged with fifteen-letter, multi-consonant names. So imagine spending ¾ of a million on a house and your return address is one that you will never be able to pronounce.

So it has now become a fantasy of mine to become a developer and give the streets really awful names like: Dickhead Drive, Asslove Street, Cow Pie Place, Carnal Court… I’d like to see who the hell would accept living on streets named like that. I could have interesting neighbors.

15 Comments:

Blogger Trish said...

I have issues with street names that don't represent anything about the area. There was a street called "Birch Pond Road" in our old neighborhood with not a Birch tree or a pond for miles.

6:34 AM  
Blogger LeLo in NoPo said...

I wish we lived on N. Gay here in North Portland. It would just be so, well, appropriate!

6:46 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

If there were ostentatious, vulgar mansions on Cow Pie Place, people would move in.
I once lived on a street called Shady Lane - there wasn't a friggin' tree over three feet. Hope springs eternal.
And there's a street called Wuthering Heights Rd. in Toronto. Spooky...

7:26 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

When our local Harley Davidson shop expanded, they were allowed to name the streets in front of and behind their building. One is named Can't Stand Earl Dr, and the other...
Ring Tailed Doofus Ln

8:07 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Ahh Trish, the suburbs, where they cut down all the trees and name the streets after them.

Dang, Lelo, you sure do get up early now that you quit your job. Maybe you could get a street sign for your driveway.

It's true, Beth. I do enjoy giving my new neighbors a taste of country life every now and then. Nothing like a steaming pile of horse crap on a newly paved road infront of a McMansion.

Syd, and you haven't posted photos of this on your blog yet? Syd, Syd, Syd...

8:49 AM  
Anonymous F. Lee said...

Now Melville. That was named for Mel Hartill, I think.

Then there's those famous Dried Salmon County landmarks such as Moosmoos and Wawas-but you gotta be a real old timer to know where they are and how they got their names.

8:58 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

I guess I misspelled it, and I live there. I wonder if it is a relative of Tryan? Here are some other little known local towns: Boonesborough, Trotter, Butterfield, Lilleas and Kissville.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Mom of Three said...

Isn't there a Hell, NV? I know there's an Intercourse, PA.

Found a site for wacky street names, if you're up to it...

http://www.thecarconnection.com/Extras/Contests/Wacky_Street_Names_-_Still_More_of_our_Readers_Best.S207.A9796.html

10:27 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Dingleberry road gets my vote. Thanks for the site, very cute.
That's what I love about Mo3, she does her homework.

7:45 AM  
Anonymous F. Lee said...

I believe he would'a been young Hartill's grandfather or greatfather. Those folks have been up in that valley a long time.

8:31 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

It's a shame seeing the farms out there in disrepair, barns falling down...

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was doing some of the old maps up for the moving company's drivers and the county logging roads have really funny names. At one time possible areas of housing developments but many now owned by Weyerhouser, et al. Out in Hamlet you'll find Scratch 'n Sniff It, then there's always Hell's Kitchen or Canyon or Lane. Daddy's Little Stinker and Stinky Fingers are also some of the funnier ones!

6:13 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Too funny, I'll have to see if any of those names made it to the USGS maps I have.

6:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, having hung out on Ragged Ass Road in Yellowknife, NT...

7:09 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Damn, Yellowknife is the end of the world. Whodathunk they'd even need to name the streets there. Cool name, though.

10:11 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home