Saturday, January 13, 2007

Mouth Dump


When you think about it, we humans stuff some really crazy stuff into our mouths. Much of it is cultural and regional. If you think back, all our ancestors a hundred years ago and older ate all kinds of crazy stuff. They dressed funny, too. If you ever visit a historic recreation like Ft. Vancouver or Ft. Clatsop (Dried Salmon) on days when they are doing the historic food of the day thing, you will be totally grossed out with selections of salted lard, leathery smoked fish and meat, and they don’t even touch upon the rancid stuff they ate as well.

We are no different. Your great grand children will one day learn of you diet and it will make them want to puke. Raw oysters? Tapioca, aka fish eyes and glue. Artichokes, a good excuse to eat butter. Lima beans, the food of the anti-Christ. Tripe, pork rinds, Rocky Mountain oysters, caviar, Pâté de foie gras. What about blood pudding and Haggis? Do you have any idea what Jell-O is made from? You might want to start puking right now…and if you puke on someone you can add another tick to the meme when I send it around to you.

Oh man, we are sick bastards, and I’m surprise we don’t compete with crows for road kill.

13 Comments:

Blogger Donna said...

My mom told me when she was a kid, and she and her siblings needed a snack, they'd eat bread with lard and sugar. Ewwww.

6:54 AM  
Blogger LeLo in NoPo said...

Oh don't even bring Jell-O into this discussion. Food of the gods!

7:23 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

Oh great! There goes my appetitie.

I think the worst thing my mother cooked for us as kids was beef tongue. She got it at the butcher and brought it home all long and pink and tongue like...with little taste buds and everything. **shudder**

She boiled it and served it sliced with mustard and parsley.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

That was supposed to be "appetite"...the memory alone has me a little demented.

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband's grandmother fed them chicken feet.

Love,
Anon

7:55 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Donna, it's a wonder anyone lived past 30 years of age.

Lelo, I once called Jell-O's hot line to ask what it was made of, and their answer made me react like the photo on yesterdays article.

Dang, Trish, that reminded me of how my brother used to buy lambs tongue at this bar. Made me sick just thinking back on it again.

Love Anon, wonder if it has anything to do with his present poulty issues ; )

8:17 AM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

We ate some strange things growing up with out parents who wanted to expose us to all the varieties foods there were to offer...it did broaden our horizons I suppose but as Trish said....the tongue was just the worst....nightmare material for sure!!

1:48 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Gawdamighty, man, are you trying to make me barf?
And for the record, once I learned what Jell-O was made of, never again did it pass my lips. It was a terrible wrench, let me tell you.
As for the rest? Never have and never will eat any of the nast you described. For lo, I am a super-squeamish eater.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Oh, wait, you know what? I lie. I have been forced to eat lima beans (now I'm bigger... they can't make me NOW), and once upon a time I loved me some pork rinds. But only the super hot ones.
Now I think about it and get a whole-body shiver. Glehhh.

5:27 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

It's all in the preparation.
Well, almost always....
Why would anyone eat liver?
Why would anyone eat smelt?
When I moved away from home at age 15 and signed on as a hired hand on a cattle ranch for room and board + $65.00 per month, I learned that lesson.
The old farm lady could cook anything into a mouthwatering delicacy.
Liver??? You could not hold a gun to my head today and make me eat liver. When this old gal cooked liver, you went back for seconds, thirds and fourths.
Tapioka? Get real! No one but the living dead eats that $#!+.

9:22 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Well it seems I've either grossed a number of you out, or I have you resenting your childhood. My work is done today ; )

By the way, Jell-O is made from really disgusting stuff...

9:34 PM  
Anonymous Moosehead said...

I have fond memories of jello having seen my first stripper at the travelling carnival - The pitchman - " She will shake, she will roll, she will shimmer like a bowl of jello on a cool frosty morning... just one thin dime, one tenth of a dollar." Wow - how could a puberty afflicted kid resist that image. Thanks for the memory Guy!

And taverns are not taverns unless they have a complete selection of pickled beef tongues, pickled weiners and pickled eggs. You just have to be careful with the gasseous eruptions in enclosed spaces. It is a deadly cup of fart reserved for sharing with only your very best friends.

5:13 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Moosehead, your reply leaves me happy that I have no friends.

5:42 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home