Friday, March 16, 2007

Welcoming Medicine


Yes, it was all the rage. It seemed that everyone needed to be on an anti-depressant at the time, and someone who mistook my sullen personality for depression convinced me that I should try them as well.

I went to a doctor, let’s call him Dr. Candyman. I told him how I was feeling and that I wanted to feel better. He spouted off many drugs that were available to me and asked if I had a preference. I didn’t know enough about them to have a preference, so he put me on Welbutrin.

Maybe I did have some seasonal disorder, maybe I was feeling poorly about being financially strapped at that time, but I convinced myself that I was depressed and that I needed medication.

I clearly remember opening my prescription at home. There was an inner seal on the bottle of pills that said “Welcom”, which when misinterpreted told me that I was being taken for a journey that may never end. Welcom was the company that made that drug before it went to GlaxoSmithKline.

The first two nights were sleepless nights on this medication. I stayed awake looking at the stars through the skylight. Back then my bed room had a 4' X 4' skylight right above the bed. I wasn’t tired and I wasn’t bothered by the lack of sleep, I just enjoyed being awake all night looking at the stars. I felt good about the whole thing.

After that initial high, the drug seemed to have little effect on me, so I slowly got off the medicine and never refilled the prescription. I haven’t gone back for another psychological evaluation, not have I taken anything to alter my mood. Yet I wonder what it would be like to be chipper and optimistic. I have never been that sort of person and I wouldn’t want to be one for more than a day or two.

7 Comments:

Blogger Auntie L said...

Dont do it, Guy! I am chucking my drug very soon and have made plans as such.

I am also planning on dispensing of the dispensers of this 'candy' and self administering lots of art-therapy which is WAY cheaper, more meaningful, much nicer to look at, and above all, the best damn therapy for me.

And, I know I will be feeling just swell in awhile.

So, lay off the drugs. Art is what you need.

Just some Auntie advice.

5:59 AM  
Blogger Jaggy said...

Chipper and optimistic are overrated. Those people scare me just a little bit anyway.

6:48 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I know so many people who are taking (or have taken) "happy" pills. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to feel that way on a daily basis.
Then I go, nah - I'll stick with my very own non-manufactured highs and lows. And be grateful I don't need extra help to get through life.

(Still, to be so mellow...)

9:02 AM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

This makes me recall the old days when used to take LSD. It always gave me an overwhelming feeling of well being. There is a lot to be said fro feeling good, be it real or induced.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous walter richards said...

I've always referred to myself as "even keeled". I don't have highs or lows, just stuck permanently in the middle. I'm optimistic about my life, and negative about society in general.

I've only seen a psychologist twice. The first time was when my brother finally pushed me too far, and I tried to give him an "attitude adjustment" with a pipe. After a year of seeing the family, the doctor agreed my brother was the problem. HA! Of course, then my parents decided to stop the sessions. "Oh, we can't blame Walter. No use continuing." And some people wonder why I'm not close to my family. No, I'm not bitter.

The second time was marriage counseling. Since a divorce followed, it's pretty obvious how successful THAT was. lol.

2:56 PM  
Anonymous gearhead said...

Guy, its just this long, shitty, boring, unrelenting winter we have all somehow survived.
I was outside in the sun all day today really feeling good.
It is in that moment that you realize just how bummed you have been with out even realizing it.
We had two solid months this year without one nice day here.
That sucks!
You need to pack up and spend a weekend with the gearheads.
(and I need your free labor) :-O
We'll send you back to Rustville feeling like brand new!
The key is under the mat.

11:33 PM  
Blogger The Guy Who Writes This said...

Walt, sounds to me like your situation can be fixed with a little more drink ; )

Gearhead, I got an email from your uncle this morning with nearly the same proposition. Sorry I can't come today, I have to haul a bunch of manure and return a horse this afternoon. I'll be up in your area next month.

6:48 AM  

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