Welcoming Medicine

Yes, it was all the rage. It seemed that everyone needed to be on an anti-depressant at the time, and someone who mistook my sullen personality for depression convinced me that I should try them as well.

I went to a doctor, let’s call him Dr. Candyman. I told him how I was feeling and that I wanted to feel better. He spouted off many drugs that were available to me and asked if I had a preference. I didn’t know enough about them to have a preference, so he put me on Welbutrin.

Maybe I did have some seasonal disorder, maybe I was feeling poorly about being financially strapped at that time, but I convinced myself that I was depressed and that I needed medication.

I clearly remember opening my prescription at home. There was an inner seal on the bottle of pills that said “Welcom”, which when misinterpreted told me that I was being taken for a journey that may never end. Welcom was the company that made that drug before it went to GlaxoSmithKline.

The first two nights were sleepless nights on this medication. I stayed awake looking at the stars through the skylight. Back then my bed room had a 4' X 4' skylight right above the bed. I wasn’t tired and I wasn’t bothered by the lack of sleep, I just enjoyed being awake all night looking at the stars. I felt good about the whole thing.

After that initial high, the drug seemed to have little effect on me, so I slowly got off the medicine and never refilled the prescription. I haven’t gone back for another psychological evaluation, not have I taken anything to alter my mood. Yet I wonder what it would be like to be chipper and optimistic. I have never been that sort of person and I wouldn’t want to be one for more than a day or two.