Checking Out

We’ve all had people in our lives that have died. It’s sad, but a fact none the less that one day we too will be in the spotlight, exiting our existence. Faced with this mortality, we can only hope that our exit is quick and painless.

I once work with a man who loved to go fishing. Every day after work he would car-top an aluminum boat to Big Sterling Lake. One day he didn’t come home, and he was found the next day drifting in the boat with his line in the water. He simply slumped over and died in a place where he loved to be.

Nelson Rockefeller died in his mistresses’ apartment, obviously having a good time. Some people are fortunate when their time comes, yet others suffer pain and disease for long periods of time wishing for a quick end to their suffering.

Every few years I take inventory of what my fantasy death would be if I were able to choose. When I was in my 20s I thought an LSD overdose would be a good way to go out. Then later when I was doing a lot of climbing I was thinking that being struck by lightening at the summit of a mountain would be pretty cool.

As I age I’m at the point where I hope I won’t die in certain ways. I don’t want to drown or burn or be cold when I die. I don't want to die in an automobile or plane. I don’t want an adventurous death any more. I'm hoping not to have an ironic death.

I wouldn’t mind falling asleep and not waking up. I wouldn’t mind being shot in the head. Yes, it sounds gruesome, but it is really quick and painless or so I am lead to believe.

As I age I envision my own death differently. I am diabetic, so there is a good chance that complications of diabetes will take me if something else doesn’t get me first. I wouldn’t mind slipping away in a hospital while in a warm room, where I am clean, where there is usually a light on to see by and someone making some sort of noise.

I wonder how it will really happen.